thoughts of a sinner been saved

Standing Out

2012-02-07T14:19:00.000-06:00

Most of us don’t really like standing out…even when it is standing out for what is right. I think of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3. Here are three guys who, along with all the leaders of Babylon, are asked to bow down to an idol. King Nebuchadnezzar made it pretty clear that whoever didn’t bow down to the statue when the music started playing would be burned alive in the furnace. These guys knew the consequences, but as everyone around them fell to their faces before the statue, they quite literally stood out! I think it would have been easy to justify bowing down in my mind—everyone else is doing it…I don’t have to really mean it in my heart…what good am I for the kingdom of God if I’m dead!—but they didn’t. Can you imagine saying this to anyone, much less the insane, self-absorbed King who holds your life in his hands?

“O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, Your Majesty can be sure that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”

Now, there’s some boldness! God rewarded them for standing out by sparing their lives, and raising them to even higher positions of prominence in the Kingdom.

Someone had this picture posted on Facebook today.

This picture was taken in Hamburg in 1936. The guy’s name is August Landmesser. When everyone else was giving the Nazi salute, he refused. He was married to a Jewish woman. How easy it would have been to fit in to the crowd. Yet he chose to stand out. It was the right thing to do.

Submission is not a dirty word. All men submit. We do have the opportunity to choose who we submit to though: will we submit to the negative influence of peers and corrupt leaders or to the authority of the Holy Spirit in our lives? I pray that your life will be so aligned with the Holy Spirit’s leading that people won’t be able to help but wonder what makes you different! I pray that when the temptations of peer pressure come along, you will think of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego…and August Landmesser. Let God steer your ship, don’t hand the wheel over to anyone else!

Relationship Advice

2012-02-02T00:28:00.000-06:00

I had a couple married friends who were trying to set me up with a girl they knew, thinking we would make a good match. This was a beautiful, godly woman; so pretty, so talented, and so interesting, I was flattered that my friends would even consider her and I together. So, one night the four of us all went out to a local coffee shop. Thats when I told this angelicly beautiful girl that I enjoy green tea lattes...because they look like pond scum.

Some things you shouldn't share until the second date.

A father's blessing

2012-01-26T16:20:00.001-06:00

I'm excited for the Courageous movie and bible study we will be beginning at our church Feb 12th. For those not familiar with the movie, the premise is a challenge to fathers to step into the role God has called them to in courageously leading their families. It thrills me to think that this challenge will be raised to so many fathers in our community. I am not yet a father myself, but one thing I am…is a statistic—a statistic that continues to become more and more rare.

I am a son that grew up in a home with a father who was present and active. I have a father who loves me, and tells me he loves me. I have a father who encourages me in my decisions, and is supportive of what I do. I have a father who affirmed my talents, and provided for me opportunities to use them. I have a father who loves the Lord, and raised me up in His truth. I have a father who read to me God’s word EVERY night throughout my childhood! My father walks by the leading of the Spirit so that he can lead by example. I am an advocate for courageous fatherhood, because my life is a testimony of the impact of courageous fatherhood! If it weren’t for my dad’s leadership and the leadership of other godly men in my life, I most likely wouldn’t be walking with the Lord the way I am today.

I want to share with you one of the most valued gifts I’ve ever been given. My dad and I went to Men’s retreat at Trout Lake camp one fall. That year the speaker was sharing on the value of a father blessing his children. The blessings of Fathers are prominent throughout scripture. Isaac blessed his sons, Jacob and Esau, and his blessings were prophetic to the lives they lived (Genesis 27). Jacob blessed all twelve of his sons (Genesis 49:28), and his grandsons (Genesis 48:9). King David, on the day the Ark of the Covenant was restored to the tabernacle, blessed his entire household (2ndSamuel 6:18, 20). The Heavenly Father himself, on the day Jesus was baptized into his ministry, spoke his own affirming blessing upon his son (Matthew 3:16-17). My dad decided that he too would write for me a blessing. For a day or so, he worked out what he wanted to say, and then one afternoon he handed me these thoughtful words written out on the back of an old bulletin he had in his bible.

“Heavenly Father, may Tyler become a man after your heart. May he live out the values of creativity and integrity in boldness. May he motivate others to Godliness through his gifts of art and proclamation. May he never grow weary of serving you. May he always reflect your glory. May his life be a pleasing act of worship to you. Amen.”

And then he left me with these words from Jeremiah.

²³ This is what the LORD says:

“Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
²⁴ but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the LORD.

When I finished reading what my dad wrote for me, he said. “You should give that back. I’ll type it up at home; we can make it look nice and frame it for you.” But already, that old bulletin scribbled upon with carefully planned out words had become precious to me, I didn’t want it any other way! I took it and cherished it.

Fathers, your words are powerful. They have the power to literally shape the future of your children. As I look at the words my father wrote and my heavenly father inspired, there is nothing I desire more greatly than to honor both my fathers in developing into the man described in my blessing.

Be strong and courageous fathers! Bless your children! Here is a great place to begin.

www.fathersblessing.com

This site pointed me to the scriptures I shared as well as many others. It also has testimonies of the impact of blessings. Be encouraged and inspired!

Meeting God's Glory

2012-01-24T15:33:00.000-06:00

We all have those moments when gravity seems to pull a little stronger; when a weight presses down upon our shoulders and we are left weary. Christ’s words in Matthew 11:28 bring us great peace. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. “ How comforting to know that our savior and creator desires for us to find rest in his arms! If we want to experience the full joy of this promise, it is important to recognize the context in which these words were spoken. In Matthew 11:20, Jesus denounces the cities in which he had performed his miracles—he revealed His glory—and yet they did not respond. They saw the glory of Christ…and chose to continue sinning rather then follow him. The burden Jesus has come to relieve us from…is our sin.

I desire to show this to be true: it‘s when we recognize the devastation of our sin in the light of Christ’s glory that Jesus relieves our burden…and invites us to participate in His mission.

As Jesus continues to speak in verses 21-24, he mentions the cities of Tyre, Sidon and Sodom—cities of intense wickedness. Tyre was so wicked, the prophet Ezekiel used the king of Tyre as an analogy for Satan! Sidon so evil, God refers to them as his enemy (Ezekiel 28). Both these cities where destroyed by their enemies. Sodom was such a corrupt city that God wiped it off the face of the earth with fire and brimstone from heaven! And yet, he said these cities would be better off than Chorazin, Bethsaida, and Capernaum on the day of judgment. Why? The later had witnessed the works of Jesus…and didn’t respond.

In verses 25-27 Jesus prays.

^… “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. ²⁶ Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

²⁷ “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

I wonder if these cities refused to lay down their sin, because they couldn’t see it as the burden it truly was. Children willingly share their burdens…they have no choice—so much reliance and trust in their parents! But as we grow older, we become a bit more independent; we like to try to handle things on our own. We even try to handle our own sin; managing our burdens rather than releasing them. Does this sound familiar? “I know I shouldn’t do this….I know this is wrong…but no one has to know. I can manage this. I can keep this hidden.” Or how about, “It’s not gossip if it’s true…my tongue is burning, I just have to share this!” Or maybe, “She makes me SO ANGRY! I refuse to talk to her…it’s her fault, not mine anyway!”

The burdens Christ invites us to lay at the cross, we instead hoist to our shoulders. We have no comprehension of the burden we carry and the freedom we lack! Who does Jesus choose to reveal himself to? To childlike hearts willingly dropping their burdens at the foot of the cross.

And so, verse 28: “Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” No longer do we have to hold on to these weights that wear us down. We can be free!

There are two lies I tend to buy into when it comes to my sin: either that it’s not that big of a deal, or that I’m damaged goods…God couldn’t possibly want or use someone like me. God’s word addresses both these mindsets.

In Isaiah 6, Isaiah witnesses the glory of God in a fantastic way— He sees the Lord, the train of his robe filling the temple. There are awesome heavenly creatures singing praise with such power the ground shakes. Smoke fills the temple. It is in this place Isaiah has a “Woe is me” moment!

“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.” Isaiah 6:5

Have you ever had a “Woe is me moment?” It’s like a car accident that can’t be prevented. Isaiah, clothed in sin, was on a crash course into the blazing glory of God. He sees his sin in the light of God, and knows he’s a dead man. And yet, Isaiah’s lips are touched with a coal from the altar—his guilt is taken away, and his sins are atoned for. He is made right! God says, “Whom shall I send? Who will go?”

It’s in this place that Isaiah says, “Here I am! Send me.”

I have begun meeting with a few guys weekly for prayer, encouragement and accountability. They have become a reminder of God’s glorious presence in my life. He is watching me. I may quickly forget God’s watching eye, but it’s much harder to forget that my brothers are going to ask me how my week has been. Sin I brushed off before, I now see in the light of Christ’s glory. I rejoice in the freedom of laying down those burdens so that I can respond to God, “Here I am! Send me!”

Perhaps you are in a place where you recognize the seriousness of your sin. Words like “fake” and “hypocrite” constantly ring in the back of your mind. You wonder how God could ever use someone like you. I think Peter may have wondered the same thing.

Jesus asked Peter to drop his nets on the other side of the boat one morning, but Peter was a bit hesitant. He was a professional. He’d been out all night and hadn’t caught a thing…what pointers could this rabbi give him? But he did anyway—and so many fish filled the nets they began to break, and two boats were filled with enough fish that they were on the verge of sinking!

^“When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” Luke 5:8. Peter saw his sin in light of the glory of Christ. Maybe he remembered a coarse joke he shared with the other fishermen the night before. Perhaps he remembered the face of a person he had cheated in business. Maybe he thought of the temper that sometimes got the best of him. All we know, is Peter recognized that he was in the presence of overwhelming glory. Jesus met Peter where he was at…and called him. “Don’t be afraid! From now on, you will be a fisher of men.” Peter found the glory of God while sitting on his knees amongst a bunch of slimy, flopping fish. Jesus will meet each of us wherever we are at too.

I love that Jesus doesn’t end with, “Come to me all who are weary and carry burdens, and I will give you rest.” He goes on to say, “Take my yoke upon you.” That’s an instrument of work! God has a duty for us to do. But it’s not a burden…the burden has been taken away—it’s a joy!

When we recognize our sin in the light of Christ’s glory, we see ourselves for who we are…and God for who he is. We begin to see the depths Christ stooped to make us holy in the eyes of the Father, and our only natural response is to cry out, “Here I am! Send Me!”

God with us

2011-12-26T01:07:00.000-06:00

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” God with us.

“God with us”—is there any three words that hold greater grace and power? Jesus saw fit to identify with us as man; facing human temptations, trials and pain, so that he could be one with those he came to save. But if Jesus was simply a man he would have no power to save. And so Jesus became a holy enigma—both wholly man, and wholly God for our sake. “God with us.” In those three words is wrapped the beauty, mystery and splendor of the incarnation—a love that extends infinitely beyond our comprehension.

Anyone who has ever sat on the bench, stood on the starting block, or peeked from behind the curtain before a show, knows that feeling of excitement and anticipation when you are about to fulfill a purpose. I wonder if that was what Jesus felt like before entering the realm of humanity through the womb of a virgin girl. Leaving the glory and splendor of Heaven; the eternal Son willingly left his Father and thrown to be born as a humble baby boy. He replaced heavenly robes with strips of swaddling clothes, a majestic thrown with a feeding trough, and the company of angels for that of cattle. How peculiar that the creator of the universe would choose to make his debut appearance displayed helplessly in a bed of hay. Immanuel—“God with us.” It’s as if God were saying, "I’m serious about this!" Look how far I’m willing to go just to be with you—to be one of you. And he would reach lower still.

It is hard to clearly grasp the concept of Jesus being both God and man…to really wrap our minds around “God with us.” It’s far easier to lean to one side or the other. But Jesus was a man—he bled, cried, hurt, and hungered. He was God—he cast out demons, healed the sick, walked on water, and spoke with ultimate authority. The book of John illustrates Jesus dual nature well. When Judas brings a battalion of Roman soldiers along with the religious leaders to betray and arrest Jesus, he asks them, “Who are you looking for?”

“Jesus of Nazareth,” They reply.

“I am he.

In this three word sentence, Jesus reveals his divinity. “I Am”—the name of God first spoken to Moses in Genesis, and now as Jesus utters it—those who came in force to arrest him…stumble backwards and fall to the ground! Such amazing authority! Then, Peter hacks off a soldier’s ear, and Jesus simply picks it up, dusts it off, and hits the divine “edit undo” button. Jesus scolds Peter, reminding him he could ask the Father for twelve legions of angels to protect him if he so desired. And yet, he chose to hang on the cross instead. Authority so great that the mouth that once spoke creation into existence now knocked men to their feet. Humility so great, that he humbled himself to the point of handing over his life. Humanity so real that when his heart stopped beating, he died. Divinity so real, that three days later he conquered the grave and rose again! What beautiful humility.

Immanuel. God with us. There is no question of God with us, but rather us with God. Jesus stooped as low as he could possibly go—the depths of Hell—in order to be with us—to save us. If we desire to be with God we must humble ourselves as well, because that’s where Jesus is at.

oneness

2011-11-15T21:17:00.001-06:00

Visiting a new church can be exciting and intimidating. In my own experiences with other churches, I have found that in some, the visit becomes nothing more than sitting in a pew, one stranger lost in a sea of others. Sadly, some churches are as cold and hard as their pews. I have visited other churches however, where though I’m among strangers, there is the overwhelming warmness and reality of worshipping with family—these are my brothers and sisters in Christ. The Holy Spirit that lives in and works through them is divinely evident, shining brightly. As a congregation invites strangers in with warmth and welcome, the stranger experiences God in a very real way, because it’s the Spirit of God working through the church to touch the life of the person who has walked through their door. I tell you, with that kind of love a stranger won’t remain a stranger much longer. When the Holy Spirit is alive and moving within a church, there is no sense of strangers amongst strangers, but rather the beauty of oneness in Christ Jesus.

I had a friend in college who conducted a social experiment that every church should hear about. He grew a scraggly beard, disheveled his hair, wore dirty, worn out clothing, and did not bathe. Yeah, I know—isn’t that what most college guys do? Well maybe, but the next part is not. He went to several of the most influential churches in the city looking like a homeless man to see how they might respond.

One church greeted him warmly at the door, but didn’t do much beyond that. In two others he was not spoken to at all; only met with confused and bewildered glances in one, and cold darting glances accompanied with whispers of “…who is that….what’s he doing here…he doesn’t belong here…” in the other. In the last church, he was warmly welcomed, even being offered some money and an invitation to someone’s home for a warm meal following the service! I know which church I would return to.

I wonder what I would have done. How would I have responded? Would I have squelched the Spirit within me and missed my opportunity? How are we perceived to those who visit us as a church? Do they see oneness and love, or strangers amongst strangers? How will we respond to those who come through our door?

Jesus, the night he was arrested, after praying for his disciples…prayed for us. “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” John 17:20-23

His Story

2011-11-03T15:18:00.001-05:00

History. What images does that word conjure up for you? For some it brings up images of sleepy afternoons spent drooling on gratified school desks, staring blankly at a dusty chalk board, the dull hum of a dry lecture from a monotone teacher sneaking in their inattentive ears. For others, the word summons movie screens of adventure projected on the wall of the mind; decisions—both good and bad—made by strangers of the past that directly affect their present. For them, history is the earlier pages of a script they have a part in, a story still being told.

Do you see the big picture—that this life you live, this world you experience is part of a grand piece of art? We are just single brush strokes on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel! Being one brush stroke doesn’t make us insignificant, no, quite the contrary—this is where we find our significance—we are part of something bigger than ourselves, something beautiful! Our lives have purpose; one scene in the ultimate story written by our creator.

The great temptation is to let our eyes role back in their sockets so that we are inward focused, spending all our time centering on ourselves and concentrating on our own little stories; refusing to acknowledge the great story that God has invited us into.

Our church has been participating in the video series The Truth Project these last couple months. A recurring theme continues to appear. Man chooses to ignore the truth, instead governing himself by lies—he becomes his own authority; because to walk in truth means there is a higher authority than one’s own desires and opinions—the authority of God. We are not in charge. In our self-focus, we forget the Sovereignty of God—His ultimate authority. He is the author of history. He is in control. Isaiah 46: 9-11 illustrates this point well.

⁹ Remember the former things, those of long ago;
   I am God, and there is no other;
   I am God, and there is none like me.
¹⁰ I make known the end from the beginning,
   from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say, ‘My purpose will stand,
   and I will do all that I please.’
¹¹ From the east I summon a bird of prey;
   from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose.
What I have said, that I will bring about;
   what I have planned, that I will do.

To deny God and his hand in history draws our focus onto ourselves. If there is no God, then there is no purpose to life beyond what we individually desire to make of it. “We live. We die. We become worm food. Game over. The end.” There is no greater cause we are accountable to then our own pleasure, “eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die!” If there is no personal God to hold us accountable for our actions, we can manipulate history to tell us what we want to hear; rewrite it to teach others what we want them to believe. Dr. Tackett, the tour guide through the truth project, uses the example of the Mayflower Compact. Most of us in our History classes read the opening lines to be something to the effect of, “We whose names are underwritten…having undertaken, a voyage to plant the first colony…” but there are some key phrases missing. “In the name of God, Amen. We whose names are underwritten…having undertaken, for the glory of God and advancement of the Christian faith…, a voyage to plant the first colony.” The whole story is not told. It is left devoid of the true purpose…devoid of God. What we are left with is an incomplete story, or in other words, a lie. This is nothing new; the serpent in the garden hissed, “Did God really say you could not eat from any fruit in the garden?” Satan revised history right from the beginning in order to convince Adam and Eve to believe what he wanted them to.

The Roman Guards who stood watch at the tomb of Jesus at the time of his resurrection were likewise encouraged to revise the history of the event.

¹² When the chief priests had met with the elders and devised a plan, they gave the soldiers a large sum of money, ¹³ telling them, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came during the night and stole him away while we were asleep.’ Matthew 28:12-13

These are the two most significant moments in history. One is a lie—bringing about sin and death—and the other is attacked by a lie—deceiving people from believing upon the Lord—the only one who saves them from sin and death!

History is important to God. Throughout scripture God continually tells his people to Remember! When Israel forgot the things God had done, they began to walk their own paths, living out their own selfish stories, forgetting their purpose as the chosen people of God. Their gratitude and obedience to God vanish with their dissipating memories of him. Whether we actively revise history or passively forget what God has done, either way, we will begin to believe the lie that this life is about us.

Pastor Skip has a question he continually asks us every Sunday: “So What?” Why does this all matter? Dr. Tackett states, we tend to forget the things we should remember…and remember the things we should forget!!! When we make history into a little story about ourselves, neglecting to see God’s full picture, we tend to focus on the petty things—personal annoyances, personal injustices, personal preferences, personal privileges—these become the things of utmost importance. This is unfortunate…because these are not the things of utmost importance to God. God has a much bigger vision for us—to love God and love people (God’s greatest command) and to go and make disciples (the great commission). How unfortunate when we allow little things to derail the train from pressing onward in the will of God. The lost must be found, the blind must see, the deaf must hear. Only when we look at life through Christ’s eyes (seeing the bigger picture) and not our own (self-focused as we are), will we begin to discover…and fulfill…our role in history—His Story.

Shape your culture

2011-10-27T15:42:00.000-05:00

After standing at the base of that significant tree, I am sure those sweet, juicy bites of fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil sat like cement in the stomachs of Adam and Eve, sending up bile of bitter regret. The irony of Satan’s lie is that he told them eating the fruit would make them just like God, yet they—the crown of creation—were already created in the image of God! It is our sin that pulls us further from God and his image, further from what he intended us to be. Satan’s lies will always pull us in the exact opposite direction of God’s intentions for us, yet his lies are enticing; so much so, that they often become the cultural norm. The sweet fragrance of the vile fruit stills lingers in the air, and oh, how quickly we grasp for it!

Speaking with a high school student recently, it was obvious how great this cultural pressure weighs on him. He feels desperately alone as he strives to live a life pleasing to God, and often wonders how he could ever make a difference in this overwhelmingly evil culture.

I’m encouraged that Jesus has used individuals to drastically change culture, pulling people back to the ways of the one whose image they bear. Jesus tells us that just a little yeast can permeate the whole dough. Throughout history, we have seen a few people change their world.

I have been reading an excellent book, Why not Women, by Loren Cunningham, founder of Youth with a Mission. It’s a book that examines God’s word, and history to see how God has used women in ministry, and examines difficult texts concerning women in roles of leadership in the church. In it, Loren shares some examples of men and women who have transformed their culture. Here are some examples.

William Wilberforce pursued the cause of abolishing slavery in England for thirty years in parliament. The law passed the year after he passed away.

Though the image is absurd to us now, the pubs of England used to have stepping stools for children to order their gin! General William Booth and the Salvation Army fought against this cultural norm. It was Christians who spoke out against the atrocity of child labor as well. In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, children were used in Britain’s mines to do long hours of intense work. The reason being, if a mine collapsed, children were the cheaper beast of burden—much less expensive than a valuable horse. Christian’s refused to allow the image of God to be stripped from these children, standing against this inhuman treatment.

In 1819, after a Spiritual awakening in Geneva, Switzerland, Henry Dunant and some people from his church formed a group to actively serve those dying on the battlefield of war. Before this point, wounded soldiers were left to die. This group is what we now call the International Red Cross.

Even within the church, there have been cultural norms that needed to be changed. A man named William Carey became convinced that God was calling him to bring the Gospel to India, yet this was not something that was done in his day. When he told the leaders of his denomination his desire, one replied, “…When God pleases to convert the heathen, He’ll do it without consulting you or me.” William did go to India, and others followed suit, bringing the Gospel message to many other nations as well.

As we look back over history, it is enraging to see the state of what was culturally normal. Yet, a few people following the Spirit of God transformed their culture. At times, we may feel we are in the minority as we stand for the Truth, but one person walking with God will always outnumber a thousand walking with lies.

Prayer

2011-10-27T15:31:00.001-05:00

The last two weeks of August, I spent camping along the North shore of Lake Superior. Excitement filled me like a natural helium…I’m sure I was floating two feet off the ground. But my balloons quickly popped. Very rarely is there a convenient time to lock your keys in your car. The first evening I stopped to buy some groceries in Two Harbors. When I got back to my car and reached for the door handle, the door didn’t respond the way I expected it to. No squeaky hinges opening. It was locked—as were the other doors. They were still locked when I walked around the car another five times to check each door again. The simple truth is I could jiggle the handle all I wanted, but without the key, I wasn’t getting in.

Many times in life we rush towards our big decisions, but we are destined to crash into a closed door because we forgot the key. Prayer is our spiritual key. Perhaps we see no better example of this then in Mark 9 starting at verse 14.

Jesus was walking and in the distance he saw a large crowd. In the middle of the crowd were some of his disciples, and the religious leaders were arguing with them. When the people see Jesus in the distance they run to him.

“What are you arguing with them about?” he asks.

A man answers Jesus, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.”

“You unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me” (vs. 17-19).

When the demon sees Jesus, it becomes violent; throwing the boy to the ground…he is convulsing, rolling around, and foaming at the mouth. When Jesus asks how long this has been happening, we learn that this is a normal day in the life of the boy—he has been tormented by this demon since he was a young child. It is such a serious situation that the demon has actually attempted taking the boy’s life by throwing him in fire and water. The father’s plea is desperate,

“…if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us” (vs. 22).

Do you find yourself approaching Jesus the same way? “Jesus, if you can, could you help me?” Do we attempt to limit God-sized answers with human sized expectation? Do we really believe that God can answer our prayers?

“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus responds. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”

I think there is a lot we can learn about belief in the father’s response.

“I do believe, but help me not to doubt.”

We often associate belief with our heads—beliefs are something we think. But our actions, behaviors and choices show our true beliefs. Though it was hard for this man’s head to ‘believe’ that Jesus could help, he chose to trust.

After Jesus drives out the demon his disciples ask him why they could not. They have driven out others, so why not this one? This demon was different—it was deaf and mute. Jesus said that this kind can only be cast out by prayer.

Just as this boy was held captive by this deaf and mute demon, Satan holds the world captive to his lies, deafening their ears to truth. We can be captive to the lies as well. Sometimes we choose not to listen to truth. It's easier to believe the lies. Prayer is the key to freedom.

Follow me

2011-09-03T15:54:00.000-05:00

The theme at New Life bible camp this summer came from Isaiah 43:19, which says,

¹⁹ For I am about to do a brand new thing.
      See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
   I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
      I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

In this passage God is speaking to his chosen people, Israel. The people were in captivity, bound from the freedom they once knew. These were the consequences for their idolatry, but God chose to save them, showing them his greatness and love, something their idols could never do. Not only did they face physical captivity, but God was showing them that idols bring spiritual bondage and that only he could break their chains and set them free.

Though our idols may not be made of wood or stone, we’ve all turned to idols and felt the sting of its consequence. We’re all in desperate need of the living God who can do a new thing in our lives. We all need the freedom that only he can bring.

Idolatry comes in many shapes. I think of the story of the rich young ruler in Luke 18. Here is a young man who wants to experience something new! He asks, “Good teacher, what must I do to get eternal life?”

Jesus’ response is not what I would expect. “Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked him. “Only God is truly good. But to answer your question, you know the commandments: ‘You must not commit adultery. You must not murder. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely. Honor your father and mother.’”

What is in this response? First he says that only God is good. And then he lists off a few commandments—laws that if we could obey, would make us good. It is interesting that Jesus chose to use the commandments that deal with relating to other people.

The young man believed that he had kept all these commands his whole life. But didn’t Jesus also say that if you look at a woman with lust, you commit adultery? If you have anger in your heart, you are guilty of murder? Sin is not just the things we do; it’s the condition of the heart. Jesus had to help this young man see that.

Jesus said, “There is still one thing you haven’t done. Sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

After telling the young man to obey the commandments to treat others right, Jesus strikes to the core with an impossible challenge—sell all you have and give it to the poor. The mask is off, the condition of the young man’s heart is revealed. He could believe that he was doing pretty well—on the surface he was keeping the commandments and living a holy life, but when he had to give something up for the sake of others…well, that was something else completely. The idol of his heart was revealed. Leaving his treasures behind was a challenge too great.

Why would Jesus respond in these ways—asking this young man to do the impossible? This reveals a truth to us all. We’re all in the same spot as that rich young man. The young man asked what he must do to receive eternal life, and by naming the impossible, Jesus made it clear that there was nothing he could do. None of us can do anything to earn eternal life—we just can’t be good enough. But Jesus said to this young man that only God is good…and we know that Jesus is God!

After challenging with the impossible, Jesus offers a simple invitation. Follow me. Because it’s impossible for us to be good, we must follow the only one who is. We are utterly dependent on him “What is impossible for man, is possible for God.”

This person is left with the same decision all people must face. Whom will I follow? To what will I cling? Will I lord my life, and bow to my wealth and idols, or will I will I recognize true faith as dependence on the only one who brings eternal, life--starting now.

Jesus says, "Follow me." the story ends with the young man's head drooped in sadness as he walked away. Which direction does the story go for you? For me?

Who will you follow today?

Its not about me

2011-08-19T00:45:00.001-05:00

At the end of July twelve youth and leaders hopped into a 15 passenger van and a suburban anticipating a week of seeing God move in and through us; impacting a community that lives a life of poverty foreign to us. My very white, middle class, small-town youth group made its way to NE Minneapolis. God, in his faithfulness, did move in us and through us, and opened our eyes to some new things about ourselves.

I was nervous about this trip. I stressed about funds—could we raise enough money in time? Stressed about unity—would the two youth groups meeting for the first time on this trip get along? Stressed about the unknowns—what is this all going to look like? Stressed about our youth’s engagement—will my group enjoy themselves, will they jump in and participate? I was stressed about what God would do…and what he would ask me to do—God, will you show yourself this week, and will I be willing to join you in what you are doing in NE Minneapolis? But God revealed to me that all of these concerns funneled down to one point—ME. What will people think about me if this trip is a flop? I’m responsible for this trip and so if things don’t go just right, I’m the failure.

I was sitting upon a self-focused thrown, concerned about the praise of others, but this wasn’t my mission trip—it was God’s. It wasn’t for my glory, but for his. Even if I failed, God could not.

As we presented the gospel to children this week, we were challenged to help them see that sin is not just the bad things we do like lying and disobeying our parents—it’s the condition of each and every person’s heart—a condition that we are born with. It is making ourselves king of our lives instead of making Jesus our king. Its making this life about me. God challenged me in that this week. For a trip with the purpose of focusing my heart on God and others, I sure was spending a lot of time thinking about myself! How easily I could have missed out in truly ministering to people in my pursuit of fabricating the perfect mission trip product for our youth to consume.

I can’t help but think of Jesus inviting the little children into his presence. His disciples wanted to turn the children away. Maybe they were concerned that Jesus wouldn’t look “professional” enough—that he couldn’t take care of the really important things if a bunch of snot-nosed kids were clinging to him. But it wasn’t about the disciples, or the way Jesus looked to others. It was about who Jesus is. He is love, and he desired to show children the depth and beauty of his love. This was the purpose of our trip too—to show children the love of Jesus Christ. The trip was not about me, it was all about bringing children to the lap of Christ.

On your Facebook profile page there is a section where you can write a bit about yourself titled “about you.” One of my friends simply wrote, “It’s not.” This life is not about me. As Christian’s we are never to be a bright neon sign blinking “Look at me!” but rather a shining city on a hill illuminating the glory of Jesus Christ, it’s ruler.

Fishers of Men

2011-06-17T15:54:00.000-05:00

Being the program director at New Life bible camp forces me to ask myself what the purpose of our camp is. Two weekends ago was Men and Boys retreat. Old gray headed men and dirty faced little boys both enjoyed spending time with friends, playing games, worshiping, and learning new things together. There was plenty of great food, a few games of horse shoes, golf, baseball, archery, laughter, and campfire stories—all in all, it was a great weekend

Camp is a fun place for me, filled with a lot of fond memories, but if that is all that it is, I’ll miss out on an eternally significant purpose. As I think about the purpose of camp, I think back to the illustration Pastor Skip has used of two different types of ships—the cruise liner and the battle ship. We can look at camp as a cruise liner—a fun and relaxing place to visit for a while, or we can look at it as a battle ship—a ministry with an intense and urgent mission, a tool fighting for the souls of men.

I have an opportunity to invite men, women and children to camp this summer; a place where they might for the first time hear the message of a God who loved them so much, he came down to earth to die on their behalf, inviting them into eternal life with Him. We then have the opportunity to continue building relationships with these people, inviting them into our church family. In doing this, camp becomes more than another summer vacation opportunity; it becomes a chance for us to invite people into an eternal saving relationship with their creator, and into continual fellowship with a body of believers. That’s a perspective with purpose.

The speaker at Men and Boy's retreat shared with us an illustration about the Titanic that he took from a book by Ron Hutchcraft. The “unsinkable” ship brought death to 1500 people that fateful evening April 15, 1912. Though there simply weren’t enough life boats for the amount of passengers on the Titanic, the sad truth is that even still, most of the boats rowed away from the sinking ship less than half full. Many people desperately cried out “Help me!” as they splashed frantically in the frigid water begging to be saved, but shockingly, those in the life boats paddled past the desperate cries.

3 days later when funeral ships returned to the scene of the horrific event, 328 frozen bodies were found floating in life jackets. These people did not die because a ship sank. They died because those who could have saved them refused to help.

There is a healthy dose of perspective in this illustration. As Christians, do we recognize we sit in a life boat amidst thousands of drowning souls? Countless people all around us are perishing without the hope of Jesus Christ, yet most Christians paddle by, concerned to take the risk of reaching out with truth. Will you?

We are not on a comfortable cruise, we are on a rescue mission! I pray we remember our purpose and that we live it out. Are we extending our hands to those drowning in the water, or are we paddling away from there cries for help? Jesus called his disciples to be fishers of men. Let’s pull drowning souls into the hope that we have.

The mat or the miracle

2011-05-16T23:07:00.000-05:00

It is illegal to eat a hamburger in St. Cloud on a Sunday. Why? …I don’t know. My guess is at one point in time there was some legitimate reason for such a law, though I could never guess what that might be. Laws generally don’t just happen—most often there is a reason.

My guess would be that if you were to go to McDonald’s in St Cloud on a Sunday, there wouldn’t be an officer waiting outside the door saying, “Excuse me, I’m going to have to see what you have in that bag.” The law carries no benefit. Avoiding hamburger on Sundays will not make a person into a better citizen of St. Cloud.

In the bible, we see that the Jewish religious leaders made up many of their own rules to help them keep God’s laws. For example, God’s law said, “remember the Sabbath and keep it holy”. The Pharisees added 1500 other laws to this one in order to help them keep the Sabbath holy! But here is the problem: those rules became so important to them; they became equal to scripture itself. They missed the heart of God’s law, and reduced it into a bunch of rules that if followed, would make them better than the next guy.

In John 5, there is a man who lies on a mat by the pool of Bethesda. For 38 years he has been lame, unable to walk on his own. The bible doesn’t reveal much about this pool, but apparently it was believed to have healing powers. For this man to be so close to this pool, yet unable to walk to its waters must have been an unbearable heartbreak. And then, one day, he meets Jesus.

“Would you like to be healed? … Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!”

After 38 years, to stand once again, to take your first steps, to feel the ground beneath your feet--what an amazing moment! But somehow…the Pharisees missed it. This man had picked up his mat and was carrying it. By the Pharisees rules, that’s work, and you cannot work on the Sabbath! Their self-righteous rules blinded them to the miracle of Christ! A man who hadn’t walked for 38 years was standing right in front of them, and all they saw was the mat in his hand.

Do you see the irony? The original intended purpose of their rules was to help them be close to God, but their rules prevented them from accepting the Son of God who was right there amongst them! After all, why would they need Jesus to make them holy if they could do it on their own by following some rules?

We may look at these laws and laugh at their foolishness, but I think it would be wise to ask ourselves—do we do the same things? It is pretty easy to cast a judgmental eye on those who don’t fit the mold of our North American Christian culture—those who don’t bow to our churchy rules.

The issue is not obeying a bunch of rules; it’s honoring and loving Jesus Christ. We must always remember that nothing we can do—no rules we obey; no customs or traditions we practice—can ever earn us right standing with God. When we think that, we become like the Pharisees who missed out on the one who came to save them. They were too busy trying to do it themselves.

Let’s not stare at the mat and miss the miracle.

Thats just not fair.

2011-04-13T23:48:00.000-05:00

This world has nothing for me

2011-04-10T23:26:00.000-05:00

This week I have at least one thing in common with dirty dish water. We're both drained (neither smell nor look that great either, but I did say at least one thing in common). I am drained physically, emotionally, and spiritually--exhausted, frustrated, distracted, stressed, disappointed. It is amazing how the enemy, and I mean the real Enemy, can quickly derail us and pull our focus from the things that matter. My created purpose far exceeds my temporary disappointments and distractions, yet these things can blindside me and pull me off track. So how does one deal with the pains that come with living the human life? I have no magical platitudes that make pain dissolve away; no special incantations to erase the gnawing scars of depression that some of us face. The truth is, life is a bummer sometimes. With the wisdom of a bumper sticker--though tamed down to a G rating--crap happens. The only thing I can say is that when this world hurts, I must remember I am not created for this world. I find comfort in directing my focus back to the truest satisfaction. This doesn't make my hurt vanish, but it offers perspective when I see my pain next to the grandness of God. The infinite Creator towers over my biggest hurts. God is always faithful. If He weren't, He couldn't be God--He would be acting against His very character. He knows pain, and He is with me in mine.

We sang a song called Rescue in church today. God knew I needed it before I did. God has brought this song to me at key moments in my spiritual journey; moments of pain and loneliness, and it helps me gain perspective once again. I hope it encourages you like it does me.

So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless. 1 Corinthians 15:58

Clutching to Purpose

2011-04-01T15:20:00.002-05:00

When we first step into a new job, the boss generally hands us some papers that explain our job description. This description lends guidance, gives purpose, and help us stay focused. John the Baptist was an incredibly focused man. I'm sure locusts and wild honey make good brain food, but his focus comes from a place deeper than his morning breakfast. Isaiah 40:3 prophecies of John's purpose hundreds of years before his birth saying,

"Listen! It’s the voice of someone shouting,'Clear the way through the wilderness for the Lord! Make a straight highway through the wasteland for our God!'"

In Luke 1, the angel Gabriel spoke of John's purpose to his father, Zechariah, before John was even born. Talk about job description--written in prophecy and spoken from the lips of an Angel! But even with such a grand calling, John was a human being. Luke 1:15 says that John was filled with the Holy Spirit even before he was born. He needed the Holy Spirit's guiding to keep him focused on his purpose--keeping the important things in the foreground and letting everything else fade to peripheral.

The whole purpose of John's ministry was to baptize people as an outward sign of their repentance so that they would be ready for the coming Messiah--Jesus. "Repent! For the Kingdom of Heaven is near!"

Shortly after John baptizes Jesus, Jesus' disciples begin to baptize people too. You would think that John's disciples--his right hand men--would surely understand why it is they do the things they do, yet when they see that Jesus' disciples are also baptizing, they get a bit jealous. "...Rabbi, that man who was with you on the other side of the Jordan—the one you testified about—look, he is baptizing, and everyone is going to him." (John 3:26).

The implications here are huge. I am sure these disciples had great intentions, and they were doing a great thing, yet they completely missed the point! Their job was to point towards Jesus, yet when the people went to Jesus...they became jealous! They forgot the purpose of their ministry in the first place! But John never did. His response is, "...He must become greater, I must become less"(John 3:30). John continually recognized that his purpose was to direct hearts toward the Messiah.

In ministry, it is critical to get in the habit of stepping back, examining our programs, and asking, "Now, why is it that we are doing this again?" It would be foolish for the UPS man to drive from place to place with nothing to deliver. We too must continually make sure our purpose hasn't fallen from the truck!

As Christians, do we keep our purpose at the forefront of our minds? Like John's disciples, we might be doing all the right "stuff", but if we aren't pointing others towards Jesus, we've missed the point. We've lost our purpose. It's time to focus! He must become greater, we must become less.

Silly babies

2011-03-31T00:39:00.000-05:00

I love kids. There is something very therapeutic in watching children. All the distractions, anxieties, and problems of the day fade away, and you are reminded to laugh. Being around children brings me into a state of worship because I feel God's utter delight in the beauty of his little ones. I needed a pick-me-up today. Thank you silly babies.

Reasons I love my job

2011-03-17T13:54:00.000-05:00

1. Last night before youth group started, one of the little girls from Awana gave me a drawing she had made. There is no more precious gift in all the world than a drawing by a child. It hangs proudly in my office :) I love the children at my church. They are a precious gift from God.

2. Last night after youth group, I prayed with a young guy who really wants his life to be fully committed to the Lord. It is so exciting witnessing a young person who gets it. Its so encouraging, because it serves as a strong reminder to look at my own priorities--not just what I say my priorities are, but what priorities come out in the way I live.

3. I have amazing youth leaders. I still have so much growing to do! I am so rough around the edges, and in a lot of ways, I'm still pretending that I know what I'm doing. One thing I am very poor at is leading my leaders--defining their role and giving them direction. I need to work on that, but thank God, I have a bunch of go-getters! My leaders have really made this their own, and are bringing their giftedness to their roles in their own unique ways. There is a girls all nighter coming up that I have had no part in planning. Its going to be a great event thanks to the awesome ladies leading.

4. I get to spend time with some of the coolest people I've ever met--real godly, wise leaders that enjoy spilling their wisdom into me--like Pastor Skip, Larry, our Shepherd team, and my Youth Pastor friend,Tim. I also get to minister alongside my peers and watch how God moves as we gain from each others strengths. I'm enjoying growing in friendship with these partners in ministry--Dustin and CJ mean more to me than they know.

5. My youth group. Sometimes, during games, I'll just pause and look out over the youth that God has given us, and smile. These are amazing people, each in a different place with Jesus, but each of us desperately needing him. I love them all, and pray that Christ will continually grow that love ever deeper.

"What's love got to do with it?"--exercising spiritual gifts in loving unity

2011-03-15T13:26:00.000-05:00

I don't know yet how to post audio to my blog. So until I find a way, here is the sermon I preached this last week in written form.

If someone had explained to me ahead of time how much work a canoe trip would be, I probably would have never gone on one. Canoe trips are a curious thing. You are sun burnt, tired, sweating, hungry, and thirsty. Your muscles ache, and you are continually surprised by the unique places you discover wood ticks on your body. Paddling across the lake, I would begin to long for the shore so I could be free from paddling, but when you get to shore, you hoist on your packs and portage your canoes to the next lake—the whole time thinking, “I can’t wait until I get back in the canoe so I can be free from carrying all this stuff!” Even with all this—with stepping from the canoe into two feet of mud, falling into the lake with your camera, digging holes when you need to “take care of business”—the strange thing is…you kind of love it!

Canoe trips provide a person an opportunity to discover what they are really made of. They are an opportunity to grow in skill and character.

But the thing I love most is the bond that is formed with other people. You become reliant on one another. You support and encourage each other. Each person has their task—digging the latrine, getting the fire going, boiling water, pitching tents, preparing the food—each person must do their part to make the trip successful.

If you want to grow close to a group of people quickly, a canoe trip is a good way to do it. Having common goals, a task to share—the need to rely on one another; these are the things that bring people together.

Skip has been talking about Spiritual gifts the last few weeks. Here are a few that the bible mentions—apostles, prophets, teachers, those who do miracles, those who have the gift of healing, those who can help others, those who have the gift of leadership, those who speak in unknown languages (1Corinthians 12:28). We know that at least some—if not all of these gifts are present in this church. How? Because there are Christians in this church, and each believer is given spiritual gifts by the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 12 :4-7 says, “There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.” Our spiritual gifts are not for our own benefit, but for the benefit of the entire church. They work best when used together. In many ways being the church is a lot like a canoe trip. We face many challenges, and just like a canoe trip, if we desire to journey successfully—bringing glory to God—we need to be a united team.

When believers stop simply going to church, and instead become the Church, we find a bond that is unbelievable! It is a unity like no other—bound in the Spirit, united in serving each other through our spiritual gifts—living to bring glory to Christ!

Why is unity so important? Hours before Jesus was to die, he prayed for us—you and I. John 17:20-21 say, “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.” We were on Jesus mind right before he was betrayed to death. Our unity is that important to Christ! Through using our gifts to the benefit of the church—we fulfill Christ’s prayer for us. Our unity is purposed so that the world will believe on Christ!

However, our own selfish desires can trump out this kind of unity. “Spiritual gift” unity is others-focused. Our selfish, flesh inclination is to be self-focused. The sad truth is that often the world doesn’t see our unity, but our division. In the Corinthian church, even the Lord’s Supper—something meant to unite all believers in the body and blood of Christ—had become a selfish act! It was celebrated with a feast, and some were scarfing it all down before the others even arrived! They were creating division with no care of it.

But in the following instructions, I cannot praise you. For it sounds as if more harm than good is done when you meet together. ¹⁸ First, I hear that there are divisions among you when you meet as a church, and to some extent I believe it. ¹⁹But, of course, there must be divisions among you so that you who have God’s approval will be recognized!—1 Corinthians 11:17

Our flesh will quickly sacrifice unity on the altar of self-satisfaction. Who cares if there is unity…just as long as I get my way!

Let’s break this down, shall we? 1st Corinthians 8:1 shows us that love strengthens the church, while 1^st Corinthians 12:7 shows this to be the purpose of our spiritual gifts—benefiting the body of Christ. So…practicing our spiritual gifts for each other’s benefit is an act of love! Jesus prayed for our unity so that the world will know God sent Him, and he also said his disciples would be known by their love, so…we are to be known by our love—a love that is practiced through spiritual gifts—spiritual gifts that unite us together!

All this is confirmed as we look at 1 Corinthians 13. Why would a chapter on love be placed smack dab in the middle of two chapters on spiritual gifts? Because the Corinthians needed to be told that love is the key ingredient to spiritual gifts. Without love, there so called “spiritual gifts” were useless—they were self-serving rather than other- serving.

On one of my first canoe trips, one of my best friends—a novice at canoeing was in the canoe with another girl. If you watched closely you could see that she was doing all the work. My friend was simply dipping his paddle in the water, and allowing the current to pull it back. It may have looked like he was paddling, but he wasn’t benefiting anyone!

In the same way, are we content to “look” the part for our own glory, or do we desire to work out our gifts to benefit the body of Christ? Selfishness can mascaraed as the practice of spiritual giftedness, but if spiritual giftedness is not practiced in love, we are not acting from the Holy Spirit’s leading at all.

I never liked puzzles—they don’t make sense to me. Why would you break a picture into pieces with the purpose of putting it back together again?

The secret to enjoying a puzzle is that you have to be patient! The fun isn’t just in seeing the final picture, but in the process of getting there.

The church body is like a puzzle—some pieces you know exactly where they fit—their purpose is clear. Others are still searching for their place in the picture. But each of us has a purpose—we each contribute to making the final picture. If a piece is missing the picture is incomplete!

I find it exciting that right now in our own church, people are stepping in to new roles, excited to put their giftedness to use in benefiting this body of believers. If we are faithful in this, God will grow us into a stronger church. But there will be hiccups along the way. We will fall short at times. Sometimes we will act out of our own selfish flesh rather than the Spirit of God. It is a continual process fitting our puzzle together. Like with any puzzle, as we fit our giftedness together, we need to be patient with one another. Ephesians 4:2 says, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

When we click all of our pieces together, our unity makes an astounding image—that of Jesus Christ. Bound together in the body of Christ—what an unshakable unity, what a beautiful gift! What an amazing love.

Best Wedding Blunder

2011-02-25T16:56:00.001-06:00

Last weekend I was at a wedding. The bride stood elegantly at the front--full of confidence, excitement and beauty. The groom stood at the front--sweating, clammy, knees bent as to prevent fainting. It was beautiful. I love weddings! They are a time when the sacred collides with the common--two individuals becoming one flesh before God in holy matrimony, and yet has anyone ever been to a wedding where everything went perfect? Nervousness abounds, people faint, unity candles refuse to light, awkward speeches are made, the flower girl picks her nose...

We've been looking through the life of Christ in Youth group. Last week we looked at Jesus visiting a wedding in Cana (John 2:1-12). Like every other wedding in history, things didn't go exactly as planned. Jesus' mother comes to him and says they have ran out of wine. Considering that weddings were week long celebrations in Jesus' time, this is no small blunder. There are several lessons we can take from Jesus' response to this problem. Jesus says,

“Woman, why do you involve me?”...“My hour has not yet come.”(John 2:4)

Interesting response. I admit I don't fully understand it. We don't know exactly what Mary expected Jesus to do, but apparently she believed that Jesus could do something. Yet, Jesus responds, "Its not my time yet." This is a good reminder to us--sometimes we may have good questions, good goals, good desires, but when we bring these things to God we must always remember that His time table is not our own. It might not be time yet.

Mary tells the servants of the wedding to do whatever Jesus tells them to do. This is where the next lesson I see in the story comes. The servants could panic, they could run searching the town for wine to share, they could admit defeat apologizing emphatically. Instead they go to Jesus, listening to and obeying him--even when he suggests something strange! When things get tough where do you run? Do you take it to Jesus first? Do you lean in faith on the arms of Christ?

And then Jesus does something amazing. His time has come! The servants fill six stone jars with water to the brim. Jesus tells them to dip a cup, pull it out, and bring it to the master of ceremonies. What was once water is no longer. It is transformed into wine. That's significant--Jesus doesn't make water into really good water, and he's not offering watered down wine either (Koolaid really wasn't an option back then). He turns water into wine. Jesus is in the transformation business. This is the third lesson I offer. Are we like water made to wine? Have we been transformed? I hope when people encounter me I give off a sweet fragrance and flavor that points out the transforming miracle Christ has worked in my life.

The last lesson is found at the end of the story. verse 11 says,

"What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him."

Didn't the disciples already believe in Jesus? In the previous chapter we here them call him "Messiah" and "Son of God". Before they believed because John the Baptist had pointed Jesus to them, or because they had spent time talking with Jesus themselves. Now they had seen what Jesus could do. We may believe on Christ because he was once pointed out to us, or because we have heard his words. The more time we spend with Jesus, however, the greater our belief becomes because we become witness to the worker of miracles.

All the single pastors

2011-02-17T11:08:00.000-06:00

Two great articles

Are we afraid of single pastors?

Are we afraid of single pastors (Part 2)

Sometimes writing a blog post is not necessary because someone else has said exactly what you would like to say. All I can say in response to these two articles is YES!

Well, and I guess this...

I do not feel called to singleness as a life style. I actually hope to be married some day with a house full of children. I do, however, hate the pressure I often feel as a single pastor to "get the ball rolling." Now, to speak fairly, I don't think my married friends realize the pressure they place on me or how painful it can feel to a single person when their singleness is spoken of as something that needs to be corrected. But it is painful. I advise those of you who are married to examine your own hearts and see if you hold prejudice towards singleness. I do believe, and I think I have pretty good company with 1 Corinthians 7, that singleness--like married life--can be a great gift from God. I confess that I miss out on that gift all to often because my focus shifts from how I can be using this time of singleness for the glory of God to how can I fix this singleness problem. That's really unfortunate. I don't think I am the only person that struggles with that mindset. I do think that the church can help cure these wrong ideas.

Happy Valentines Day!

2011-02-14T22:40:00.000-06:00

Sisters

2011-02-12T10:24:00.002-06:00

I have two younger sisters. I couldn't be more proud of each of them. I am constantly being challenged by their love for God and humble submission to the Spirit's leading in their lives. It has been a treat to watch them grow up and see the ways God has--and is--using them. Since I'm the oldest, I often feel as if I'm supposed to be the spiritual example, but I'm learning so much from them. They both blog here and here.

Lyss works with a ministry called Living Hope in NE Minneapolis. She reaches out to young people who have seen things I can only imagine. Poverty, violence, and brokenness are a reality to these kids, but because Lyss has experienced the living hope of Jesus Christ, she and the ministry she is a part of bring hope to what the world would call hopeless and helpless. To get an idea of Alyssa's heart, check out this blog post.

I would invite you to consider how you might partner with the ministry of Living Hope. If you feel stirred to support Lyss or Living Hope financially, through prayer, or in any other way, you can find more info at Lyss's blog.

Behavior is to Belief as Belief is to Behavior?

2011-02-11T16:17:00.000-06:00

When we were wild, rambunctious children it may not have been unlikely that at some point we heard our parents say, "I can't believe your behavior!?!?!" As we get older, there are times when we examine our own lives and say the same thing. "I can't believe I did that!" I think that often we default to think that our behavior flows out of what we believe, and this is true; our world view will determine the way we live our lives down to our most basic behaviors. But often our sinful natures will cry out the exact opposite. Not " I can't believe I behaved this way" but "I can't bend my behavior to this belief". What happens when a deep-seated stronghold of a behavior stands in opposition to our world view? Either the behavior has to change or the world view has to.

Behavior can determine ones world view.

I read a really interesting article on Christianity Today' website called Unreasonable Doubt, dealing with those un-admitted reasons why some people become atheists.

Romans 1:19 states clearly that God has made plane to man what can be known about Him. And yet, many are strongly convinced that God is nothing more real then the Easter bunny. How is that?

The answer comes prior in Romans 1:18. It speaks of how we are capable of suppressing truth through wickedness. Literally our behavior snuffs out the truth so that we are incapable of seeing it.

I see this happen in me. I find that the more I've given in to certain sins over time, the more comfortable I become with them...so much so that I begin to wonder why I thought the behavior was so wrong in the first place. I'll shrug it off, or maybe even go as far as to look at it as growing up..."maturing". Maybe this is why so many people have a shift of world view in college. A lot of college-aged "self discovery" is nothing more than embracing moral depravity and not recognizing sin for what it really is.

We may ask ourselves how it was possible for Christians in this country at one time to own slaves. Does the Christian world view promote such behavior towards other human beings? Slaves were useful and slavery was common. Behavior determined belief. People were so numb to the sinful dehumanization of slavery that they didn't believe what they were doing was wrong.

How could Germany have supported the Nazi regime? How did it get to the point that people were cooked in ovens and gassed in showers? Behavior eventually changes belief. Its much easier to treat someone that way when they aren't human.

This is a profound truth that we need to recognize.

I think we all have our little pet sins that we like to nurture and feed, hold in our laps and scratch their bellies. Sure we know that they can be naughty little mutts--barking out against what we say we believe, but they are manageable; they can be hidden and muzzled when needed. Though these pet sins are perceived as small, they are ferocious dragons ready to overpower both us and the world view we claim. If we hold on to these "little" pets to long, pretty soon we become enslaved to them, unaware of how foolish we look walking around on the wrong end of the leash.

Sin can't be managed. Don't walk your pet sin around on a leash; take the leash and make a noose. Sin needs to be killed.

Its only cute when babies do it

2011-02-08T17:40:00.000-06:00

Have you ever been having a lovely conversation filled with keen insights, good humor, jovial laughter, and then, out of the blue you say, "Hey, I wonder how much of my foot I can fit in my mouth?" Today I put my foot in my mouth. My whole foot. I have a size eleven mouth. There is a reason saying something stupid and hurtful is called "foot in mouth"--it leaves a nasty taste like sweaty gym sock. I felt awful. I've offered my apology, and through grace have been forgiven. Now its not that I haven't munched my toes ever before (anyone who knows me well also knows I'm capable of saying stupid things) but I hope I've learned my lesson from this experience. First, I will not be so quick to mutter idiot under my breath the next time someone else sucks their gym sock. Second, I will be more careful with the reigns of my own tongue--such a wild beast to tame. Lastly, when I do fail (which inevitably I will) I'll be quick to own up to my mistake and make things right by apologizing.

To any infant readers out there, suck your toes now. It's not as cute when you're an adult.

I can't wait to have a son someday

2011-02-06T22:05:00.001-06:00

A tall man in a small shop

2011-02-01T22:24:00.001-06:00

I love La Blogotheque's Take Away Shows. What they do is record musicians playing their art in unlikely venues--tour buses, under bridges, up on roof tops, in hall ways, on the street, and in cramped music shops like the one in this video. This creates an incredibly unique and intimate musical experience. Sometimes a house show is just as stirring as a stadium of thousands.

Here is what La Blogotheque had to say about this performance by Kristian Matsson, otherwise known as "The Tallest Man on Earth".

"One catch: after soundcheck the day before, Tallest Man’s guitars were locked inside the NYC music venue, Town Hall, where he’d be playing later that night with Bon Iver. Solution: we’d have to shoot somewhere with a decent supply of guitars that he might borrow. A fan of music of all kinds, Jeff, the awesome, museum-quality proprietor of the legendary Music Inn on West 4th Street in Greenwich Village was happy to oblige. The staff took refuge downstairs, where they ripped through some take-out tacos while the Swedish guy played songs from his debut Shallow Grave. The Tallest Man, who inevitably gets talked about in terms of Dylan apparently had no idea he was playing just three doors down from where Dylan actually lived and just around the corner from where the cover photo of The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan was shot."

Blood Money

2011-01-30T21:26:00.000-06:00

I watched the movie Blood Money this evening. I left me swelling with emotion. I am livid with anger, burning with empathy, and desperately saddened. What really hurts in watching this movie is that one of the seventh grade girls from youth group--an innocent, joyful, young girl--came to see this movie and was exposed to the great evils of our country. I am glad she saw it, but it hurts. Because this sin so rampantly penetrates our society, it is necessary for young people to see truth, even gruesome truth. It is best that they know the truth now, so that they will be ready to take a stand for whats right when that time comes. It rips out my heart that twelve year old girls are being extorted to make decisions to end life; facing unfathomable pressures from every angle--family, doctors, friends, counselors, and boy friends to terminate a life; facing these pressures from those who should be walking with them in their vulnerable, fearful place and supporting them in the difficult decision to preserve life. Millions of lives destroyed because of a brilliantly crafted lie fueled by greed for money and the fires of hell itself.

My anger does not lie with the women who have been deceived into taking the life of their child. I deeply hurt for them, and desire to show them the love of the God who can forgive them and bring them the peace they need. My anger is that so many are being deceived into believing such pure evil is good. How can humanity, the image bearers of God, live out such evil? This is our depravity, this is our condition without Christ. My anger is with the deceiver and I want to penetrate his dark lies with the burning light of truth.

To think of the discarded body of a baby, an image bearer of God, in the bowl of a toilet; it ruins me.

If you are a human being you need to watch this movie.

Oh Tom Sawyer, you rascal you...

2011-01-22T00:00:00.003-06:00

Here is my latest graffitied thrift shop painting.

Why did Tom Sawyer have to white wash the fence in the first place?

Conspiracy Theory: Tom Sawyer is Banksy.

For those of you who don't know Banksy, he is a famous, yet unidentified (until possibly now...we're onto you Sawyer...), street artist. You can visit his website here.

It was fun uniting my favorite artist with the stories of one of my favorite writers as a kind of tribute to both of them (though I'm not so sure either of them would necessarily appreciate the tribute). Also a tribute to Jim Daly. It is his painting I defaced, after all (I've colaborated with many a gifted artist this way...they just don't know it).

Banksy is part of a new documentary called Exit through the gift shop about street art, the commercialization of art, what makes art art, etc. It's brilliant. Like Banksy himself, the movie is enigmatic. Its hard to tell if whats playing out is for real or a beautifully crafted hoax. Personally, I don't care one way or the other.

Hulu is streaming it here for free! I warn that the movie is rated R; there is some course language, and, well...graffiti is illegal.

What I know about women

2011-01-16T14:16:00.003-06:00

Many years ago, I decided that I would begin to write down everything I know about women. here is everything I have learned so far.

Yep.

1 Thessalonians, Love Letters and Youth Ministry

2011-01-12T10:48:00.006-06:00

I just read some from 1 Thessalonians, and I was delighted by these verses.

"Dear brothers and sisters, after we were separated from you for a little while (though our hearts never left you), we tried very hard to come back because of our intense longing to see you again. We wanted very much to come, and I, Paul, tried again and again, but Satan prevented us. After all, what gives us hope and joy, and what is our proud reward and crown? It is you! Yes, you will bring us much joy as we stand together before our Lord Jesus when he comes back again. For you are our pride and joy."--1 Thessalonians 2:14-16

Isn't that beautiful. I almost blush reading it; it sounds so much like a personal love letter between lovers. Just a few tweaks, "My dearest love, Though distance keeps us apart, my heart remains with you. The intensity of my longing to be with you is unbearable! It is you who brings me joy!" I can almost smell the perfume on the parchment!

But its not a love letter between two lovers. It is a letter from Paul to a body of brothers and sisters in Christ. The love and bond that Christians share with one another is the most beautiful example of relationship the world can see. The rest of the world's relationships are centered on causes, interests, societal relations, hobbies, but for the Christian--we are bonded together by the living Spirit of God! And for these particular believers, they were also bonded together in there experiences in suffering for the sake of Christ. No wonder Paul was so joyous. These believers accepted the message Paul preached to them as the very words of God, because through the leading of the Spirit, they were the very words of God! They knew Paul had been persecuted for this message, and they knew they would be persecuted themselves, yet they held firm. What a great joy to Paul to be able to know that he will stand with these believers on the day Christ returns. These men and women who once were lost in sin, now willingly suffer for the sake of Christ. Is there any bond in all humanity like that of the body of Christ that endures hardship together, yet stands firm?

I get this challenge from Paul. First, do I love the youth in Fosston Baptist youth group with that kind of intensity? Second, where do I find my joy? Does my joy come from delivering a good Wednesday night talk? How many laughs I get at a joke? How successful an event was? Or am I experiencing joy because youth who were lost are making Jesus the Lord of their life, and I can know that I will stand next to them on the day of Christ's return.

I know I have sought my joy in petty things. I really want to strive to see young people know the Lord. I don't want to miss out on that kind of joy.

Well, that's awkward.

2011-01-09T16:03:00.010-06:00

One of my favorite websites is AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com. What family doesn't have it's own unique set of quirks? The beauty of this site is that it collects all of those goofy, awkward, sometimes cringe-worthy moments that just so happened to be caught on film and puts them all in one place (its like the family reunion of the internet). These tend to be rare jewels; diamonds in the rough...unless you are a member of my family. My family thrives in in capturing the awkward for posterity's sake. I like to think we have at least a bit of self awareness though. Most of our awkwardness is intentional. I think it is birthed out of my dads desire to always take a unique family photo for our Christmas card. Here are a couple from the past. I blogged about them here.

Sometimes, however, awkwardness abounds without intention. These are always the best photos in my opinion. I look at this photo, and even though I know me, I'm scared for this child! I blogged about this photo too. That post is here.

There are many other photos I could share; perhaps sometime I will. For now I'll share just one more.

Today was a monumental step forward in my families awkwardness as one of our family photos was added to AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com! Our basement was struck in the flood of '98 that swept through Roseau. We thought it would be kind of funny to pose in front of our trashed lawn. That explains the garbage. Nothing can explain my sock-sandal combo. The AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com address in the corner of this pic is like a badge of glory. I am so proud!

Do you have any awkward family memories? Catch any on film?

Written in the snow

2011-01-06T21:13:00.005-06:00

It is funny the thoughts that come to mind when we miss friends. I knew that one of the great challenges of moving to such a small town by myself would be the challenge of loneliness. This loneliness has dredged up some very random memories; particularly memories from my days at Prov; a small school in Manitoba, Canada--just a few clicks south of the edge of the world.

I was thinking of one of my dearest friends from those days, my bud Dom. I haven't talked to Dom in years, but I love that guy. He was a lot like an older brother. The memory that plays in my head is one night driving back to Prov in the earliest hours of the morning on a brisk winter's night. ...Well, its not so much our drive back, but the moment in the parking lot after returning. I can't even remember where we had been...but it must have been a coffee shop because by the time we got back, nature was calling. So we did what any college aged guy would do in freshly fallen snow in the wee (funny that I chose that word) hours of the night with no one else around. There, in the quiet parking lot we signed our names in the snow with recycled coffee "percolated" through our systems. As I wrote my name, it looked very similar to my handwriting in kindergarten. Some of the letters were almost distinguishable. I just barely finished the e and r of Tyler. When Dom had finished I walked over to see the work he had left behind. Fully expecting a choppy, scribbled "Dom" the yellow letters spelt out "Dominick" in perfect cursive hand writing. No man could pee his name better. It was like he had signed the Declaration of Independence (even though he couldn't...he's Canadian).

Out of all the great moments I shared with Dom--adventures, theological discussions, moments of support and accountability, challenges, laughter, secrets, and prayer--this is the memory that jumps to my mind. Were there other moments that were more significant to our friendship? Most definitely (we weren't that weird) but even those dumb little foolish moments with friends become significant and special. I am thankful that I can look back on them.

Memories of friends are a special gift that have provided comfort in times when I've felt alone. They remind me of God's goodness and provision. God has blessed me with some truly amazing friends. I think when we share friendships in the body of Christ, we feel joy--so thankful that we could be so fortunate as to have such a special friend. I can think of so many moments of pause; looking at my brothers and sisters in Christ and thinking, I can't believe how blessed I am to call these people my friends! We see the Holy Spirit in our friends, and so what attracts us to them--what we love in them--is God shining in and through them. This is why there is such a great bond in the body of Christ.

Just as God brought beautiful people into my life in the past, I see God answering my prayers now for relationship. I am in awe of the beautiful, unexpected ways in which He provides friends. I am excited for all the new stories--both the significant life transformation ones, and the stupid silly moments I'll look back on years from now thinking, "...well there's a random memory. Man, I miss that guy."

What people think

2010-12-11T00:03:00.005-06:00

I heard some words of wisdom from a grandfatherly friend today.

"When I was 20, I worried what others thought about me. When I was 40, I didn't care what others thought about me. When I was 60...I realized others weren't thinking about me!"

Ha!

Oh to learn to measure our worth as the image bearers of God, so deeply valued that our Creator died for us! So much more valuable than the thoughts (or lack there of) of those around us!

My Struggle, My Freedom

2010-12-04T20:25:00.007-06:00

I have a pretty typical testimony for a kid who grew up in the church. At least, that's what I thought.

I prayed "the prayer" when I was 5 or 6. I'm sure that I didn't understand everything I was committing to, but I did know who Jesus was (at least pretty well for a 6 year old), what he did, and that I would much rather be with him for eternity then in Hell.

As I grew older I began to have doubts. Not to the divinity of Christ. Not to the saving power of what he did for us all on the cross, or the proof of his divinity through his Resurrection. No, I simply doubted who I was to Him. In Him. Was I really in Him? I doubted my salvation. Honestly, I've wrestled with these doubts my whole life, But I Knew I made a decision for Christ and I Knew what I believed. So why? Why doubt? I pushed it all away as spiritual attacks or simple insecurity. I kept my doubts as to who I was to Christ pretty secret. I might talk about them, but very rarely did I let people now that the doubt I was describing was my current state of being. How humiliating for a Christian College graduate and youth pastor to wonder if he were truly saved! But when you can't shake something so eternally significant, it sends a person soul searching.

Pastor Skip has been preaching about the Holy Spirit. The ultimate sign of a true believer is the presence of the Holy Spirit in their life, because He is promised to all believers. A couple verses that have really grabbed my attention lately are these:

14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.--Romans 8:14
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!--Galatians 6:22-23

These verses are very clear. Those who are Christian's are led by the Spirit. It's not the "good Christians" are led by the Spirit (there are no levels of Christianity--you, me and the Apostle Paul are all on the same plain). Its not we should be led by the Spirit. Its not that we get some advice from the Spirit every now and then. No! The Holy Spirit is not Jiminy Cricket. He is God! He takes the keys, we become the passenger. The Holy Spirit is in the driver seat of our life. He leads the way. That describes the life of a Christian.

When looking at the fruits of the Spirit, it doesn't say it would be nice if a Christian displayed these qualities. It doesn't say certain Christian's produce certain fruit (I'm the banana of Patience and you are the apple of self control). No! It says these are the things the Holy Spirit produces in the life of the believer. They are present and growing in the life of every believer.

I looked at my life and I had to say, I don't know if I see these things as true in my life. I mean really, really true?

If the living, all powerful Creator God was living inside my life, wouldn't I be certain of something like that? I mean, if I can be aware of something as small as the flu bug inside of me, I should be aware of the omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent God! I don't think a God that big can hide! If a God that big was in a tiny package like me, I--and everyone around me--should see him spilling out.

So, things just didn't seem to be adding up. I believe in Jesus Christ, yet I don't know that I see the evidence of the Holy Spirit in me...and I should. Ephesians 1:13 says,

"...And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago."

There is no special incantation, no magical formula, no task to complete that could make me a Christian or fill me with the Holy Spirit. It is only (and completely) belief in Christ. He saves me, I don't.

9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. Romans 10:9-10

Haven't I done that? It just doesn't add up. I see so many people who would claim to believe in Jesus--believe they believe in Jesus--and yet there is no fruit to suggest this is true.

You can fake fruit, but eventually everyone will be found out. Grape soda doesn't grow on a vine.

There are two pretty important words in that above verse--Lord and Believe. It is good to grasp what they mean.

This is how I understand these words.

God carries all authority in Heaven and on Earth. All other authority is myth. God simply lends his authority to others, but ultimately all authority is His. This is the authority that he gives to Jesus Christ our Lord.

God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. --Ephesians 1:22

To believe Jesus Christ is God incarnate is to believe that he carries ultimate authority. To believe he is the ultimate authority is to submit to His authority.

Believing in Christ means submitting to Christ.

This is what it means to call Jesus Lord.

So many of us desire to have Jesus be our Savior, but He cannot be our Savior if he is not our Lord.

Oh, how I beg you to hear and accept these words!

The Holy Spirit will not lead a life that has not submitted authority over to Jesus. I could "believe" all the right things, but not submitting authority to Christ showed that I didn't really make Jesus my Lord. Which shows I didn't truly believe that He is my authority. I think that is what Matthew 7:21-23 is talking about when Jesus says,

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

They thought they belonged to Jesus. They really believed it! But they weren't obedient. They never handed over their false authority to the Ultimate authority. And for that reason, they were sinners believed righteous; lost souls believing they were chasing Heaven, but destined to Hell.

Luke-warm Christianity is a myth, a lie from the pit of Hell. We MUST know our authority, because the consequences are eternal.

I've believed myself a Christian all my life. Was I? Had I truly submitted? I don't know. But this is no guessing game. No more playing around. I'm handing over all authority. I want Jesus to be my Savior and Lord. If he is going to be one, he must be both. I want to be led by the Spirit, producing good fruit. I don't want to doubt any more. I know who I belong to because I believe. I really believe.

24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. 26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.--Galatians 6:24-26

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-24T11:23:00.003-06:00

There's always something to be thankful for.

Live as one who is Forgiven!

2010-11-06T11:30:00.003-05:00

My heart rejoices in the Lord Jesus Christ! That he would pay the price of my sin in whole; that he would punish my sin by substituting his own life on my behalf; that he would call me righteous--make me righteous--in the sight of God, not because of anything I have done, but completely by what he has done for me! Hallelujah! Praise Him!

I cannot add to what Christ has done. I cannot earn His gift to me.

My heart is convicted of my sin against my Holy Father. For all those times I've diminished the Cross into a lie. "If my sin is paid for in full, then let's go on sinning so that grace may abound!" Oh how foolish. And yet I know I have thought such things.

John Piper says, "So if all you can see in the Cross of Jesus is a license to go on sinning, then you don't have saving faith. You need to fall on your face and plead that God would open your eyes to see the compelling Glory of Jesus Christ."

The cross is not the place where sin is excused but the place where sin is killed. When we see the cross as an open door to continued sin, we see a lie, and miss seeing the true glory of Jesus Christ. Jesus meets us in death so that we can meet him in new life! He did what we are completely incapable of.

Sin is conquered. The enemy defeated. He can attack me all he wants, but he'll never deal the death blow, because the weapon of unforgiven sin he does not hold against me!

Here is an article that I urge you to read. I beg you to read! Don't let sin keep you from Christ and service to him. If you are not a Christian, ask Jesus for the complete forgiveness that only He can give. If you are a Christian, walk boldly into the thrown room of God with Jesus as your High Priest and live as one who is forgiven!

read John Pipers "Gutsy Guilt"

New Eyes

2010-10-31T21:30:00.002-05:00

One of my all time favorite quotes--"Following after Jesus isn't just about having better vision, its about having new eyes." --Shane Claiborne.

God takes dead people and gives them new life. The old is gone, the new has come. We don't have to settle for old, sin-fogged eyes anymore. Christ gives us his! I have glasses that I almost never wear. I'll pull them out when I'm driving at night, pop them on, and it almost always catches me by surprise. "I didn't realize my eyes were this bad!" I thought I was seeing things so much more clearly.

The Minnesota-Iowa Baptist Conference annual meeting's theme this past week was "Seeing with New Eyes." Sometimes living in the comfort of a small town "Christian" community, a person's vision can slowly dull. I was challenged to see with Christ's vibrant vision!

Lots of great things are happening in our conference. People are looking at our world with new eyes; Kingdom of Heaven vision. One of these new visions is our Nordic-Baltic ministries; walking alongside pastors in countries like Sweden where 80% of the population is atheist and only 1-2% go to church. The fields are white for harvest!

God is giving a vision of church planting to our conference. Converge Worldwide has the goal of planting 350 churches by 2015 with 60 of those churches being planted by our regional Minnesota-Iowa conference! No small task-its one that requires new eyes.

What do these things mean to our church in little Fosston Minnesota? I was reminded that we are part of something great. God is moving, and he is inviting us to jump on board. Do we see Him and the harvest all around? Give us your eyes Lord Jesus!

I won't try to be better

2010-10-15T14:29:00.006-05:00

My friend Tim and I have been leading some youth together every Friday morning through a video series put out by Voice of the Martyrs. In it we have been able to get a glimpse of the underground church in Vietnam, and hear there stories. It tugs at your heart and rips at your soul to hear a sixteen year old girl tell how the first time she went to prison for being a Christian was when she was twelve years old. There she was beaten, and almost raped. She was given one meal in her three day stay. In those four years since her first prison experience she has been jailed many times, yet she still clings to her faith.

Through watching these videos I've been flooded with guilt. I look at the differences between "us" and "them", and make a division. They are the "good" Christians, and we are the slackers.

I love being a youth pastor. It is amazing to witness a person's life beginning to be transformed by the living God. It can also be very discouraging to see that youth aren't always the same people on Wednesday nights or Sunday mornings that they are the rest of the week. Facebook is a valuable tool. Sometimes I can learn more about a kid in two minutes on Facebook then I could watching them for two weeks at youth group. Sometimes it breaks my heart. Double lives are lived; there's this disconnect between the "Christian" life, and everything else. I know this is true because I see it in my own life too. I know what movie I watched this week while alone in my apartment. I know what thoughts come to my head. I know the lies that pass my lips, the anger boiling in my heart, the self-righteous judgement I pass on others (and these are just the sins I'm aware of, lets not forget the evil my dial hasn't tuned into yet).

So I watch these Vietnamese Christians, and I feel guilty. Instantly I think, we need to be better! And I challenge the youth, "How can we be better? We need to be like that, but we're not!"

If only we were better.

After one of these meetings I left with an ugly feeling. Something didn't sit right with me. This reaction didn't seem appropriate. The Christian life is not about being "better".

Its about knowing God.

I can live my whole life striving to be better. It will only leave me exhausted. I am incapable of making myself better--we all are. We have all wandered so far off the path we don't even know how lost we are! The old patterns keep on showing up. OK. I'm lost. I've seen that tree before. Even when we think we've fixed up one area, there's another spot that hasn't been touched yet. "...And all our righteous acts are like filthy rags..." Heard that one before?

There is a lie that has sunk so deep in me that more often than not I don't even recognize its there. I believe if only I was a little bit better God would love me a little bit more. All of my energy focuses in on me and becoming a better person rather than on God and getting to know my Creator more deeply.

Why do we waste so much focus and energy on being better? I am tired. I'm worn out. I'm sick of focusing on how lousy I am. I would much rather focus on how great God is. I can't make me better. God can...and so much more.

A friend of mine said, "Men strive to make bad men good, Jesus came to make dead men live!"

In knowing God, we will be transformed. We are given a new life entirely. We trade in the dead version for the living one. The more we know God, the more our lives show we know him.

Maybe it isn't that the Vietnamese Christian's are better than us. Maybe in relating to Him through suffering, they know God in a way that we don't yet.

I have a new foundation to start from. Rather than looking at my youth group and thinking, this is something that will make us better--we should go to the soup kitchen because it's what "better" Christians do; I start from the place of longing to know God more intimately. We go to the soup kitchen because that is where Jesus is at. "Whatever you do for the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you do for me." We'll meet Jesus there, and lives will be transformed.

That's so much better than just being...better.

Have you ever drank Dinosaur pee?

2010-09-15T22:36:00.009-05:00

The other day, I lay on my couch looking up at the wall wondering what/who the carbon in the plaster on my walls used to be. What if my walls literally could talk? What kind of dead animals formed the lime that formed the plaster that lays on my walls that hold the pictures that hang from nails to tell the stories of artists (who are also dead)? I'm really just laying pictures of stories on top of a wall made of stories. What kind of stories are they? Would I gasp, cry, laugh, yawn? And what of the dust in my carpet? Whose remains are those? What were their lives like? would I laugh at their jokes? would I cry for the injustice they faced? If they weren't dust in my carpet and we lived and walked at the same time in history, would we have been friends? Whose carpet will the dust formerly known as Tyler once indwell?

How many times has the water I drank this morning passed through a dinosaur?

I am not staring at the plaster on my walls asking these questions because I've gone crazy. I'm not on drugs and I'm not eating yogurt past its expiration date. I've been reading an amazing book called Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl; Wide Eyed Wonder in God's Spoken World. Child like joy and wonder spill from the pages and puddle in my heart. I've never heard anyone else write about God's amazing and excessive creativity found in every unique snow flake in a four foot drift. Most people don't think like that. Maybe we should. I've been reminded that the world we live in is big. Lots of stuff happens here. Lots of stuff has happened here. I am a mere spec in a story that began when God spoke some words in a language no human could ever speak (you try speaking a mountain) and the story continues in more directions then all the people who have and ever will live could comprehend combined. I find utter joy in my smallness. Not because I'm insignificant, but because in my smallness, Christ died for me. The infinite creator took the shape of the finite, becoming one of us and giving His life on a little speck named Tyler's behalf. God spoke all we see into being. He's a God that chooses his words very carefully, and cares for them immensely. He created each little speck of a person, writing each one of their stories. He created all of the billions of galaxies (one of which our little dot called earth--inhabited by little living specks--finds itself nestled in) swirling about and expanding outwards from a single point where the first "Let there be..." rolled off His lips.

I have a relationship with that God. He tells me to call him Father. He is the author of my story.

When I look at the vastness of all there is, all there was, and all there will be, I begin to wonder...what really is the value of the story of a speck. But the thing is the stories overlap. The characters intertwine their stories, influencing the other specks. If one speck influences the story of five other specks, and in turn those five specks each influence five more, well, one speck can contribute to a pretty grand story. In the bible, a small band of twelve specks walked with God-Speck Incarnate. Before he ascended to Heaven He told them to go and make disciples. They did. Speck multiplication. Now we have the church which is called the body of Christ. It takes lots of cells to make a body. It takes lots of specks to make the body. "There are no small parts...just small specs" as the saying goes.

My story has value, but what happens when the plot thickens and unexpected twists occur? What happens when certain characters don't enter stage right when I think they should? What if I'm playing a sheep when I really wanted to play Wise Man #2?

Yes, I do get to make decisions in this story, but lets not forget who's really in control. Can I question my story, or even more so, my Author?

"Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things to wonderful for me to know."

God knows the pages that I have not yet seen. Would I ever say to Shakespeare, "Bill, to be or not to be. What kind of stupid question is that?" Or to Jane Austen, "Elizabeth should marry her cousin; think of all the crazy sequel potential that would provide!" Or to Mark Twain, "Why can't that dang boy just paint his own fence!" Perhaps I should let the Author be the Author. When a character looses site of their role in the plot they certainly can't contribute much to the greater story.

Let the creativity of the Creator remind me that I'm part of his grand piece. Let my purpose be that of pointing to the Author of the greatest story. I'll take that role.

Life

2010-09-15T22:00:00.004-05:00

I've felt a need to blog for a great while because of all the changes taking place in my life in the past few months. It hasn't been for lack of things to right about, but rather its the overwhelming mass surplus that has kept me away--I just don't know where to begin.

What things have happened worth note?
-program directed at camp
-Winnipeg Folk Festival. (I hope that can become a Summer staple).
-family reunion.
-two Family camps (so thankful schedules allowed us to be together)
-brother-sister camping trip at Itasca
-A couple of good ol' adventures down the Roseau River with my friend Ben.
-visiting my dear brothers and sisters at Valley View Bible camp
-a move
-and a new job as Fosston Baptist Youth Pastor

You see, a good blogger would have blogged about each of these events, pulling out the ironies, beauty, humor, lessons, and details in full.

I'd like to say I'll share about some of these experiences in the next few days, but I prefer eggs on my plate (sunny side up, please) and not on my face, so I make no promises.

Let me just say that God is good, and faithful. I am thankful that God is a good story teller, and that I get to play a role.

I look forward to being a father someday.

2010-06-30T11:54:00.003-05:00

*

* Note: I will never actually let my child drive the car...

Daycare or Daycore? (...admittedly one of my worst puns ever.)

2010-05-17T23:51:00.005-05:00

This is my friend, Conner. Out of all my friends less then one sixth my age, Conner is my best. One of Conner's favorite things to do is make videos with the computer's camera. This day I taught Conner the intricacies of hard core dancing. Namely:

Head banging (which he refers to as "bed bang"). Making an angry face. Punching the air.

Conner figured out air guitar all on his own. This makes me very proud. I also taught him crowd surfing, but it's just not quite as cool with two people in your mother's dining room.

To Risk

2010-05-10T17:06:00.002-05:00

"To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and
dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because
the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing,
does nothing,
has nothing,
is nothing."

– William Arthur Ward

Happy Star Wars Day!

2010-05-04T18:16:00.000-05:00

May the 4th be with you.

We'll be more than fine if we get a spine

2010-05-02T23:32:00.005-05:00

I was hit with a challenge today in a Mark Driscoll sermon I listened to.

To many of us Christian guys are cowards. I see this as being a deep struggle in my own journey, and I think I agree with Driscoll in it's widespread nature; a plague of lethargy and fear that has swept over the men of our churches leaving a bunch of timid boys in its wake.

The smallest demographic in the North American church today is 20 something males; men who should be stepping up to the task--embracing ministries, forming families, doing our job of sharing the Great Commission, and spreading the Kingdom of Heaven. Instead we embrace adolescence for 10+ years of our life and refuse to become the spiritual leaders God calls us to be. We live as consumers rather than producers. We'd rather fight battles through Xbox then fight spiritual ones.

In Driscoll's words, we are evangelly fish with no spiritual back bones. We look for the path of least resistance rather then the path that brings God the most glory.

There are many areas in life where I continue to cling to adolescence--area's where I haven't "became a man and put childish ways behind me" as Paul puts it.

The truth is that as Christians, we should be the most bold, the most honorable, the most manly guys engaging the culture we live in--transforming the kingdom's of this world from the inside out; spreading the eternal kingdom, vanquishing the disease of self and living to reflect his glory.

here are some verses that have challenged me to man up.

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."--Micah 6:8

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."--2 Timothy 1:7

I'm Known

2010-05-01T15:59:00.005-05:00

Its been raining. The grey clouds seem to accentuate the vibrancy of the green grass and the flowers in the garden are screaming with bright colors. Sometimes, Its just nice to take a walk on a drizzling day; breathing in the freshness of the newly washed ground, and the sweetness of the air.

I have been in a somber, reflective state of mind this week. With the new green of Spring, I am once again reminded that change is just around the corner, filling me with both excitement and anxiety. Knowing that I will soon move even further away from friends, and away from my family leaves me feeling very much alone.

its scary to be alone.

The other day, I caught up with a good friend. We talked about old college friends; people we care deeply about, but for some reason or another have lost touch with. That can leave a person feeling guilty; to be so close for a season and then to know nothing of each other the next. He said something to me that lodged deep in my mind. "Friendships aren't marriages." God sometimes brings people into our lives for a season, and only a season. I find that a bit scary. Maybe because it forces me to trust God in all seasons.

We all desire community; a place where we feel like we belong. We all crave intimacy; someone who "gets" us. Someone who truly knows us--and still loves us. I think that, most of the time, I trust God in his provision of community. I am thankful for the communities God has provided me with in the different seasons of life; amazing friends who really care about and love me. I am thankful for the Church.

It has been harder to trust God with intimacy. Intimacy is a gift we share with only a few people, and with God himself.

"Friendships aren't marriages." The intimacy I share with a friend is nothing like the intimacy between a husband and wife. As a single person, that hurts a bit, because if I am honest, I crave that kind of intimacy. I long to experience the kind of intimacy that binds two people together as one flesh.

I think all people, both single and married, crave deep intimacy. We want to be known, or at the very least to feel known. Its tricky, because to really be known, we have to really be open, but that leaves us exposed. So we run and hide naked in the garden, the stench of forbidden fruit on our breath, from the very one who was our satisfaction. We long for intimacy but we run from the pain it can bring. So we look for the substitutes. For some that means hoping from relationship to relationship, never sticking around long enough to really be known. For others its a centerfold in a magazine who is never disappointed and always eager to give herself away. Or maybe its getting lost in the perfect romance of a book or movie that always ends with a happily ever after and the perfect kiss. We all have this sense ingrained in us that intimacy is very important; that it needs to be fulfilled. We all seek different salves to dull the pain of intimacy broken and lost. Deep down we know that something we were created for isn't being met.

I am not married, but I do know that no marriage has perfect intimacy. A friend spoke on Ecclesiastes the other day. Solomon was right when he declared, "Meaningless, meaningless, all is meaningless." There really is nothing new under the sun--God has given us great pleasures to enjoy here on earth, and he gives us other people to connect with; but even in these good things, there is a point at which the things of this life can no longer satisfy, and the eternal must. As my friend put it, the desires of this world eventually hit the ceiling, leaving us longing for heaven.

Maybe, if I am really honest with myself, my longing for intimacy isn't so much a reflection of my marital status, but more so my spiritual status. There is something incredibly beautiful about two people deeply in love becoming one flesh through the holy covenant of marriage; I hope I find that some day, but I know that it pales in comparison to the intimacy found in a relationship with the Holy Trinity. Two people can become one flesh, but when we become Christians, the living God indwells us! The Holy Spirit lives in us, the one who created us and knows us--the way we want to be known--lives in us and love us--the way we want to be loved. Then he invites us to know and love him too.

It is scary to be alone, and unknown. But I'm not. I just need to remember that.

"As the deer longs for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, O God."--Psalm 42:1

"My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God."--Psalm 84:2

Someone had to train Yoda.

2010-03-29T23:46:00.003-05:00

Conquering BBS, nice people and big decisions

2010-03-28T20:13:00.009-05:00

I have BBS. What is BBS you ask? Well, it is a rather personal issue; not information one generally shares (or chooses to read about...and yet, here we are). We blog wackos will talk about (just about) anything from the perceived privacy of our own homes.

BBS--"Bashful Bladder Syndrome."

...I get shy.

It is estimated that one in ten suffer from this completely legitimate, not-ridiculous-at-all condition. I don't have it as bad as some, but in the presence of others it takes extreme concentration (...think waterfall, think waterfall!), turning on a bathroom fan or faucet, or waiting for the guy in the next urinal to...umm...finish before I can...well you know. Let me tell you, its a really bad deal when two Bashful bladders end up using the urinals right next to each other.

What possible reason could I have for sharing such ridiculously private information? Last week I was staying in the home of a couple I barely know, and when I went to use their restroom, I was able to "spell pig backwards" freely without even thinking about it!

I was staying at the house of Pastor Skip and Linda of the Fosston Baptist church. It was this experience that revealed to me just how relaxed and at ease I was thanks to their warmth and kindness. A guy has to be relaxed to overcome such great odds!

But really, the greater purpose in my writing is to express the warm and welcoming spirit of all the people I met in Fosston...not so much to talk about my bladder (are you relieved? Ooooh! an unintentional pun!).

I was in Fosston last week to meet with the elders, youth and youth leaders of the Fosston Baptist church to talk about the possibility of stepping into their youth pastor position. Their current youth pastor, Steve, leaves to plant a church in Moorhead this June. It was such a great blessing meeting all these people. Such a warm welcome. I spent a great deal of my two days in Fosston laughing and/or soaking up all the wisdom and knowledge Pastors Skip and Steve were pouring on me. It was such a great experience that even if it doesn't result in me filling the position in Fosston, I know that God wanted me there for the experience of it; so many nuggets of wisdom to grab, and being able to witness the beautiful love these volunteer youth leaders have for the youth group was wonderful. Wow! I can learn so much from their passion.

The other cool thing about this position is that along with youth pastoring in Fosston, I would become the program director (or something to that effect; the title has yet to be determined) of the Baptist camp for the Red River Valley. It's this camp in which I had my first youth ministry experience. It would be amazing to be able to pour into the camp that has played such a significant role in my life; helping to make it a more healthy and vibrant ministry, all the while working alongside some very cool, very passionate, and wise people.

I am meeting with pastor Skip, pastor Pat (from my home church), and Lake Bronson camp Director, Boyce this Tuesday to talk about what this camp position will look like.

Please pray with me for this up coming meeting, for wisdom as Fosston Baptist and I pray about the possibility of me taking on a role at their church in the months ahead, and for humble obedience to go wherever God leads.

...I suppose you could pray about my bashful bladder too, but that's not quite as important. Just think waterfall.

Picnic in the park: good idea. Picnic in Jurassic Park...

2010-02-27T20:22:00.003-06:00

My latest thrift shop painting piece. I paid $8.50 for this mediocre painting, but I thought the set up with the huge empty, T-Rex sized space was well worth it. At least now we know what the kids are looking at.

I realize that it has been quite awhile since I last posted anything of substance on here. I will try to share some of the things God's teaching me, and what's going on in my life very soon, but for now, this is SO much easier.

Oh, lazy blogging apathy.

When I was 5, I named our cat "Black-Spot-White". True Story.

2010-02-10T00:06:00.008-06:00

I love thinking about names; what I would like to name my children one day, how certain names become common, their meanings and significance, the joy of a good nick-name, what it means to be named by God. Names...so special.

This was a bad joke I thought of, and then drew. I post allot of my art on Facebook, but I guess this is a good spot to post it too. Do drawings make bad jokes better (do they Family Circus, do they)? I don't know--sometimes Get Fuzzy's jokes aren't all that stupendous (and every now and then, Darby Conley will hit one straight out of the park with sheer brilliance) , but the drawing is always phenomenal, and the expressions in the characters say more then the speech bubbles ever could. I have neither the skill in joking, nor drawing to reach that level of humor yet, but I think I am going to start practicing drawing out jokes; even my most groan-worthy ones. It could be fun to one day reach a caliber at which I could do some freelance. Just a bit of a dream.

Conceited things come in small packages

2010-02-07T12:20:00.004-06:00

My mind has been stuck in a rut lately. I've never thought of myself as a worrier, but when you can only seem to focus on one thing, I suppose that would be worrying. I'm not even concerned with the things I need. I have allowed my mind to be consumed lately with the desires of my heart; wondering if God will provide for my deep want.

A wise couple in church today shared some comments. She said, "We don't need to worry for ourselves as Christians, because God has already promised to take care of us. What we should be focused on is our cup overflowing and spilling onto others. They should be our concern."

He then chimed in to say, "The fella who is wrapped up in himself makes for a very small package." Ha.

I am a small package. I need to be ripped open and spilled out for others.

Hello MP3PO!

2010-01-24T16:45:00.004-06:00

A couple months back, I wrote on here that my friend Taylor and I have started a indie music blog and gave you a link. Well, we promptly changed the name of the blog, and therefore the web address, so that link became useless within a few days. If you are a music fan of the indie persuasion, please check out our blog at http://www.hellomp3po.blogspot.com/. I have been introduced to many of my favorite artists by Taylor, so maybe he can do the same for you.

Also, if you would ever be interested in contributing a post to our music blog, let us know!

Creative Morbidity

2010-01-15T23:08:00.012-06:00

A few years back, my cousins and I just couldn't hold it in. Our creative juices splurged forth in morbid Christmas prankfulness. Making a few slight adjustments In Aunt Iris's kitchen, a pig that usually holds both spatula and whisk, gave them up for rocks and slingshot, performing heinous acts of violence on Christmas deer.

This year, having the absolute perfect snow, my cousin Nathan, my sisters, my mom, and I all went outside to make some snow creations. Maybe we felt suppressed as children (I mean, I wasn't even allowed to watch ninja turtles, come on!), but morbidity emerged once again. This time in true Calvin and Hobbe's snowman fashion.

In the morning, gravity added its creative hand, causing our poor snowman to bend in the dizzying agony of snowball cannon pain.

Today, for the first time since Christmas, the weather was warm enough to get out and create dastardly sadistic scenes once again. Mom helped me out! What kind of sick and twisted mother-son duo does this stuff?!!?

Once you have had a taste of snowman violence, you cant escape it. Here is our inspiration. The one and only Bill Watterson and his comic strip, Calvin and Hobbes

God loves Haiti

2010-01-14T23:37:00.004-06:00

In light of such horrific tragedy in Haiti, it is easy to ask questions like how a good God could allow such horrid devastation and tragedy. The ultimate answer will simply be that we cannot know. It is not a satisfying answer, nor a comforting one. We can dig for answers in theodicy, delve into the mind of Augustine, but in the face of suffering even the best explanations seem trite. There will be no comfort for the father whose child has been crushed in rubble.

This isn't an ivory tower issue. This issue dwells in the streets alongside the suffering.

As Christians, we simply have to trust that our God truly is a good God. That his love for the Haitian people is deep, and it is wide, and it is limitless. Asking how a good God could allow such atrocity is asking the wrong question. Instead, being believers in a truly good God, we must ask ourselves, as the hands and feet of Christ, how do we show that our God is good? In the face of evil, how do we demonstrate Christ's love?

Watching the news coverage can be simply overwhelming. How do we help the helpless? The greatest way in which you and I can make a difference is through prayer. I struggle to see what impact a few uttered words can make in the lives of an obliterated nation thousands of miles away, but they aren't just hollow uttered words. When we pray, we communicate with the creator of the universe. He is love, and He is light. Through our prayers He will penetrate the darkness and accomplish more than we could fathom.

Our generosity is also needed. Nearly 80% of Haiti lives under the poverty line; two dollars a day or less. This poverty is only intensified in light of the earthquake. Our money is needed; whatever we can afford to give will make a significant difference. Here is a link to a site that lists different organizations who can use your funds to make a difference.

Reject Apathy

I have good parents.

2010-01-10T22:14:00.002-06:00

I love my church. There are times when I feel guilty that I am not in full time ministry yet, but I am so very thankful that I have had the opportunity after five years of being away at college to get to know my home church again. It is so wonderful coming back and establishing relationships as an adult. I feel so greatly blessed to be a part of such a beautiful community. God has done (and is doing) great things in Roseau and all around the world through this small body of believers. I am so fortunate for such a great training ground of what it means to live and serve as the church before steping into a leadership position of my own.

This evening my parents and I went to listen to a young lady from our church who for the past few years has been ministering in China. I love hearing how God's Spirit is working throughout the world because of the faithful witness of believers. There are so many young missionaries that have come from my church, young men and women less then ten years older then me, who are earnestly, excitedly and diligently sharing God's love and good news in full time ministry.

Many young people feel a pressure from their parents to "make something of themselves". Make lots of money, be successful, make a name for yourself. Growing up, I have watched my parents greatest respect not fall on those role models who have landed jobs as doctors or lawyers or business men and women, but on those who have surrendered so much in order to live out the Great Commission daily. I should clarify. It is not that doctors and lawyers cannot, and do not live out the Great Commission daily. I applaud my friends and family who have become Christian examples of godly lawyers, doctors, and business people; certainly there is a mission field there as well that is just as significant as any other. I just say, there was no pressure in those directions for me growing up. My sister just took on a position in an inner city youth mission which requires her to raise full support, and I don't think my parents could be more proud. I see a great pride in my parents through their partnership in both prayer and financial support of several missionaries. They have shown me in ways words could never that they truly want to see their children choose eternally significant paths then to see us make good names for ourselves, our have huge houses with rooms we could never fill.

Being a college grad, in debt, without medical insurance, working a minimum wage job, and knowing I have devoted my college career to pursue a ministry that will never make me wealthy causes me to think about money every now and then. OK, worry about money every now and then. Then I remember that simply by living on North American soil, I am rich. Financially, I am incredibly wealthy; rarely in need or want. I am blessed. Even more so, because I am a Christian, I am wealthy. I have a heavenly inheritance, and because God gave me godly parents, I have learned to see what is truly valuable.

Pirate Monks

2009-12-19T12:12:00.004-06:00

Every Thursday morning I begrudgingly pull myself from the warmth of my covers, and roll over fumbling to turn off my alarm clock. Rubbing my eyes, I stare at the red digital numbers, casting their evil early morning glow. "Why do I do this? I hate this! I need this. I want to sleep. No, I really want to go (but I don't). I need to go." The argument rages in my sleepy head.

It's time for men's group.

I drive in my cold car, hearing the engine's belt screaming, "Why do you do this to me!", ducking my head below the frost on my windshield, watching the road pass beneath the tires. I often wonder why I do this to myself. Even as I drive into the Church parking lot, I hear a voice saying, "Maybe no one saw you pull in. You could still turn around and catch a few more winks before work."

There are times when,I admit, the voice wins out well before I pull off the covers, much less into a parking spot, but I know it will throw any lies it can at me to keep me from meeting with these godly men; my lifeline.

Why is it so hard? The cold? The hour of the day? Or is it becoming emotionally, and spiritually vulnerable before a group of men. Confessing. It's admitting to men I respect that I messed up that week. It's letting them see me for who I am, rather then who I want to be. It's the accountability of knowing they can keep tabs on me. They'll know if I am making changes in my life or standing stagnant.

Vulnerability is horribly uncomfortable. Ironically, it's also what keeps me coming back.

Men's group is not a tea time (although I do like tea times). We don't eat crumpets (although I certainly wouldn't mind a crumpet every now and then), and cry about how the world has failed us. We don't check our masculinity at the door. Instead, we strive to become better men--fathers, sons, husbands, and brothers. To take responsibility; to live disciplined, God honoring lives. We are Pirate Monks, as a favorite book of mine would call us--sinners in the process of sainthood. Active journeyers in our Christian walk, recognizing Christ's sanctifying work in our lives.

I have seen godly men fail. I can no longer say, "I could never do that." I know my heart is deceitfully wicked. I am capable of all kinds of evil. I know all human hearts are. Without the grace of God, the cleansing sanctification of Christ, and the uplifting support of the church, we are all doomed to fail. We can't afford to pretend any longer that we got it all together. We don't, and no one does.

There is such a beauty and freedom that falls upon that circle of men in our vulnerability with one another; uncomfortable yet truly liberating freedom. I realize that every guy in that room is just as screwed up as me, and that God loves us each immensely.

Human beings are capable of deep bonding. Trials, interests, values, experiences; all of these things can weave a bond as thick as family between people. But the link between brother's and sisters in Christ is different. It runs deeper then the blood of family ties; because it is eternal. It is family in the truest sense of the word.

I love these men(a manly, beef jerky-football-grunting kind of love of course...). We are the Church, living as the Church. I can't imagine what life would be like without the support of the body of Christ. So empty, and constricting. I will choose to live in the freedom I have been given. Even if I have to set my alarm clock a bit earlier.

Rudolf arrested for flying under the influence

2009-12-09T17:01:00.021-06:00

"You know Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixon. Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzon. But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?"

Many of us grew up singing these words; a holiday favorite of millions. Children will undoubtedly be disappointed to find out that Rudolf may go down in history for a very different reason then that stated in the song.

Rudolf was pulled over for reckless flight under the influence on Dec. 6, 2:00 a.m. after a party at a friend's establishment, North Pole.

Deputy Conner Gillespie stated, "Rudolf's breathalyzer revealed that his blood alcohol level was .21; well above the legal level for a reindeer. The test was unnecessary, there was such a strong scent of hard egg nog on his breath."

The song, Rudolf the Red nosed Reindeer, was introduced to the public shortly after the rookie reindeer joined the current line up back in the 1930's. Very few have ever doubted the validity of this song. Now it seems that all of Rudolf's credibility is crumbling like a Christmas cookie.

"Well for one thing, Rudolf was not the most famous reindeer. That was pure propaganda shoved on the public by an agency Santa hired to recruit reindeer hopefuls back in 1939. We had made it through many "foggy Christmas Eve's" before Rudolf--heck every Christmas Eve is foggy somewhere in the world," said Vixon.

Vixon and the other seven of Santa's team have been flying together every Christmas Eve since the early 1800's. Though the song makes claim that "all the reindeer loved him" after Santa asked Rudolf to lead his sleigh "one foggy Christmas Eve", some say these words are far from the truth.

"I hate that cocky, shiny nosed punk." said Donner in a phone interview this morning. "That hoodlum thought he could just strut into a group that had been working together for over a hundred years, becoming the glowing face of our team. He thinks he's the ginger's snap."

It is true that Rudolf was practically unknown before the song stated his fame, but like a self-fulfilling prophecy, Rudolf's fame grew--along with his pay check.

Frank Turner, current reindeer trainer and stable hand said, "Rudolf makes considerably more then the rest of the reindeer. First, he's got the royalties going for him. The song, films, children's books...this guy will never be in want of carrots or hay!"

One of Santa's elves, who wished to remain nameless spilled to Reindeer Weekly last year that Rudolf makes more per flight then the other's as well.

"Rudolf is making a quarter of a cent per roof top. that might not sound like much, but hey, they are hitting up thousands--millions of houses every Christmas. Do the math. That is one rich deer!"

It appears that the fame may have went to Rudolf's head. Santa's establishment took notice.

When asked if Rudolf's drinking habits were known, all eight reindeer attest that this was common knowledge.

FedEx CEO Carl Berkly was not pleased with the news. "Every year we entrust millions of dollars worth of packages to Santa and his reindeer, for nostalgia's sake--people don't want the FedEx guy to come to their door, they want the fat guy to come down their chimney. We could loose lots of revenue, not to mention the danger of a drunken reindeer weaving round people's homes. Santa needs to drop that sorry cow. Pathetic!"

Rudolf's pilot license has been revoked, and it is currently uncertain when, if ever, Rudolf will be rejoining the team.

"Good riddance", said Blitzen. "I am sick of flying down wind from him anyway. His engine is never short of gas, if you catch my drift. haha...drift."

Many share Blitzen's sentiment, especially on the eve of a new technology that may make Rudolf's nose obsolete.

"We are working on a technology alongside Princeton Tec for a reindeer LED head lamp that should aid navigation in future Christmas Eve journeys." said, Troy DeVries, lead design manager of Santa's workshop. "It should be ready in time for this years flight." This couldn't be more timely, given the circumstances.

"This was a long time coming."stated Corbin Anderson, Technician for Sleigh Control tower. "Rudolf was just to costly, and his behavior was to dangerous. LED technology will cut down our costs, provide more light for the whole team of reindeer, and a LED light doesn't skip work with a hangover."

North Pole locals are pleased, for many reasons. "When it's a stormy night and you see this eerie red glow and here the sound of sleigh bells, you're not thinking, hey, must be Santa and his reindeer come to spread holiday cheer. You're thinking Horsemen of the Apocalypse, that's what you're thinking." said Bob Burr from his North pole igloo pad.

Neither Santa nor Rudolf's lawyer have responded to our request for comment, concerning Rudolf's sentence.

The other reindeer are taking it in stride, even joking about the song they have come to detest so much.

"Whoever labeled Monopoly a reindeer game? We have hooves, we hate that game!" stated Dasher.

Rudolf better polish up that nose of his, he's got one dark road ahead of him.

That's getting into the Christmas spirit!

2009-12-07T15:35:00.001-06:00

It's snow good

2009-12-02T22:49:00.007-06:00

Snow has come to Minnesota.

My family went to cut down the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. Its just not quite the same walking on grass in tennis shoes to cut down a tree. But December came and along with it, the snow. And it has really come. I had one of those excited moments where I stood outside smiling, thinking, "At last! It is finally here, a Winter Wonderland!" which quickly transitioned into, "and it will probably be here for five more months....sigh...." Where has my inner child gone?

Today I went outside to play with Mom's daycare kids in the snow (only for a short while, its cold out there!). Addie (she's three) asked me to build a snowman. I said, "Sorry kiddo, it's to cold; the snow won't stick together. We can't build a snowman."

Her response. "That's OK, do it anyway."

I love the logic of a three year old.

Has anybody ever made a snowman and really pretended he is Parson Brown? Apparently Parson is just an old term for a minister (you know, parson--parsonage...makes sense now, eh?), hence the "He'll say are you married, we'll say no man, but you can do the job when you're in town!" Unfortunately, snowmen cannot sign marriage licenses.

I think that some day around Christmas if I ask a girl if she's married, and she responds, "No man, but you can do the job when you're in town," I'll go and elope with her right then.

Faith and Reason

2009-11-30T20:58:00.006-06:00

I frequent Patrol Magazine's site from time to time. I recently read a blog about faith and reason, by Tim Raveling titled How I became Agnostic; You can't have faith and reason at the same time. I had to choose.

A very well written, well thought blog. I enjoyed it, and was excited to see that he originally posted here, and that there were many comments. It's such a refreshing rarity to read respectful debate in comments on such a topic.

I wondered, is it true? Is it impossible to have faith and reason at the same time?

Tim states,

"Faith exists in the absence of reason. The two cannot coexist for any given belief."

and at another point in his post,

"Every action we take as human beings has something of reason and something of faith, but those “somethings” do not coincide."

He goes on to explain...

"When you fly, your reason tells you first that airplanes work, and rarely crash, based on the evidence of your knowledge, your visual perception of other planes taking off and, if you are a physicist, your knowledge of aerodynamics. Your faith tells you that your knowledge is accurate, that your eyes are working, and that the laws of physics will continue to function. Coincidentally, the less faith you have in these things, the more nervous you will be to fly."

I believe I disagree with Tim here. It appears to me that even in this example, faith and reason do coincide. When we climb into a plane, we believe it will fly because it is reasonable to believe it will fly. Faith and reason are serving the same purpose and acting at the same time; a reasonable faith and a faith-filled reasoning.

But what if reason and faith do conflict? Can faith and reason then coincide? Tim states that there are three responses to such an apparent contradiction; blind faith (who cares what it looks like, I know this is true simply because I believe it's true!), rationalization (bringing reasoning to the level of faith; at surface level this doesn't appear rational so there must be a reason beyond the surface level that can explain it). Or rejection, simply accepting that what was believed to be true was not true; believing that putting faith in the irrational is insane.

One of my favorite Theologians, Thomas F. Torrance, (a student of Karl Barth) spoke on the relationship of Faith and reason. His book Incarnation says,

"For Torrance, faith may be defined as what happens to our reason when it encounters the nature and reality of God. It encounters a personal reality it has not met before, which it cannot fit into its predefined categories, which far outstrips its powers of comprehension but which makes itself intelligible in terms of its own unique reality. Reason must either reject such a reality or recognise it and learn to reshape its whole way of perception in accordance with the nature of this new reality. If it does the latter, reason becomes faith" (xliii).

I guess this means, in Torrance's understanding, that reasoning is rationalized into faith.

And that is the thing. Sometimes it seems ludicrous to live in faith. But even then, it is reasonable. In my last post, I wrote of the faith of George Muller. God provided for all his needs. He never once had to ask for finances in his different ministries. It certainly seems foolish to count on an invisible hand to provide for the physical needs of hundreds of orphans under your care; downright irresponsible! Common logic would say if you don't ask for money to go buy and prepare food for the kids, there will be none. George stepped out in blind faith, and God provided.

Was he unreasonable to do this? God had always provided. should he not expect that God would do so again?

Sometimes its just more reasonable to believe in the unreasonable.

Tim says, in his last paragraph, "...I still believe in God, and I still believe that Christ was humanity’s best incarnation of him."

I have other friends who have left the Christian faith who would probably say similar things.

My question is this: Is it rational to believe that Christ was a good man; the best incarnation of God, if he was not God himself? To me, this seems far less reasonable then Christianity itself.

C.S. Lewis said it best,

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic -- on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg -- or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to. "

I do not know Tim. He is quite obviously a talented writer, well-read, and intelligent. I am sure he exceeds me in all these areas. I also do not believe he came to this decision lightly. In many ways I understand his struggle recognizing that there is a lot to our faith (much of which Tim mentions) that just doesn't seem to make sense. I can hardly imagine the struggle and how fearful it must have been to leave a life long faith and hope behind. The only difference between Tim and I in our struggles with the Christian faith is the direction our reason took us. He chose reason over faith and my reason became faith. I pray that as Tim continues to seek truth, the true God will guide him to His arms.

Check out Faith and Doubt by Aaron Espe. Good song.

Come and see what God will do!

2009-11-28T23:09:00.005-06:00

Every now and then, I get asked to speak for some youth event or something of the sort. I often speak on the very things I struggle with the most, like faith. Recently I read a book about George Muller, a great man of remarkable faith. George Muller; The Guardian of Bristol's Orphans. An amazing book--you could easily read it in a day, and everyone should.

George Muller, amongst the multitude of wonderful things he did, started the first orphanage of Bristol, England back in the 1800s. Starting an orphanage, though amazing in itself, may not be the most amazing thing in the world. Starting it with the trust and expectation that God would provide everything--EVERYTHING--for such a ministry is. George Muller was also a pastor, and though he truly desired to provide for the great need of countless homeless and needy orphans in Bristol, his main desire for beginning the orphanage was as a testament of faith to the members of his church and the community at large. George Muller determined to never ask for one cent in the support of his orphanages. In the sixty or so years of his life after beginning the orphanage, he never once asked for any provision, trusting that God would completely provide.

And he did.

I love this one story. George was in his office going over some business with one of his assistants. The daughter of friend and assistant, John Townsend was playing out in the garden below. George watched the then eight year old Abigail Townsend through his window with a smile; she was like a grand daughter to him. He loved her dearly. There was a knock on the door. It was the matron from Orphan house three. At this point in the orphanage history, there were three orphanages; I believe each had about 300 or more orphans living in their walls. The matron informed George that there was no food in the kitchen. none. It was breakfast time for 300 hungry orphans. George just said. "I'll take care of it."

I can almost picture the excitement and smile on his face, like a child on Christmas day, as he ran down the stairs, out the door and straight to Abigail in the garden.

"Abigail, come with me. Come and see what God will do!"

As they walked into Orphan house 3, George stood before the 300 orphans all quietly and patiently standing before their spots at their tables, empty plates and cups before them. George said, "Good Morning Children, Let us pray. Dear God, we thank you for what you are going to give us to eat. Amen."

The children pulled out their chairs across the wooden floor, and that was when a knock came at the door. The baker. He couldn't sleep the night before feeling as if he was supposed to make bread for the orphans, so he stayed up, and now had fresh bread for everyone.

"God has blessed us through you this morning!"

Then there was the next knock. The milkman. His cart had broken down right in front of the orphanage. The load was to heavy. It would need to be lightened in order to fix the cart. Milk was given, free of charge if they would only help him take it off the cart.

Sometimes God multiplies loaves and fish; other times he breaks down milk carts.

I have always thought that faith is something that I need to muster up; something I really need to work on. But the bible says it is given to us. Eph 2:8 says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.

Why does it seem that some Christians have a George Muller faith then, while others have...my kind.

The more we walk with God, the more he blesses our faith. The more time we spend with our Father, the more we trust him. George Muller read through his bible over 300 times in his Christian life. He became a Christian in his early 20s and died at 89. Do the math. This man loved God's word, and he was in love with his Lord, his constant provider.

Are we self-sufficient? Independent? In control of our situations? Bummer if we think so; we're missing out on a lot of excitement.

Where is my blog? right here.

2009-11-24T22:06:00.005-06:00

I have had this blog for many years; all the way back to 2004. It didn't take me long to regret choosing a domain address as confusing and difficult to type as once-a-sinner-now-saved.blogspot.com. I thought it was cool at the time... Recently, I discovered that it is possible to change your blog's address with just a few simple clicks. Yes, it took me five years to discover this. Sinnernowsaved.blogspot.com should be much easier to remember. Soon after making this change, however, I realized that this will screw up any link ever made to my blog, as well as prevent many people from finding my blog being that it is no longer located at the old address. Oh foolish, foolish me. In fact perhaps no one will even read this because they won't be able to find my blog! Gasp!

What's that? Just change it back you say. Yes, this would make sense, but the first time I made the change, it messed with my layout a bit, and I lost a few things, so I dare not return to my old address for fear of doing irreversible damage to my page. I am not computer savvy enough to prevent these blog blunders. Sigh. sorry for all the confusion.

In other news, for those of you who perchance have stumbled upon this page despite the change of address, I have another new blog--an indie music blog with my friend, Taylor.

http://www.thekindestdays.blogspot.com/

I am pretty stoked about it. Taylor is a veritable Indie genius so hipster wisdom should abound.

Raw Chicken Stimulates the Imagination

2009-11-21T16:50:00.003-06:00

I am currently in job purgatory--that place between college and career when one works a menial part time job often reserved for high school students. But its not that bad, it provides lots of time to think. I often pray, sing to myself, think about church planting, youth ministry, girls, family and friends, books, music, God. Some times when breading the raw chicken, I imagine that there was a strain of chicken zombieism that went unchecked; that some farm butchered and plucked those zombie chickens, and then shipped them to our pizza place. It wasn't their fault really--they didn't know; zombies often run around like chickens with their heads cut off--especially zombie chickens. As I quickly bread the chicken, I accidentally prick my skin on a chicken breast rib, contract the chicken zombie virus and begin rampaging the town of Roseau. The government sends in snipers to destroy all the strutting, clucking undead. But it's to late, soon all Roseau is running around, pecking at each other in a zombie stupor!

These are the mindless places mindless jobs take me. I have had many stressful, think-on-your-feet-or-crash-and-burn jobs, so this can be a pleasant change...for the time being, at least.

I recognize that even having a reliable job in small town Minnesota during a recession is a blessing in itself. Even though I am not in full time ministry right now, God is still providing opportunity to hone my skills, and serve within my own church. And though a pizza place is not the most exciting job in the world, I can't help but think that God has some lessons and opportunities here for me. The job has already challenged my pride (go minnimum wage college grad!), and I am beginning to see that if I put myself out there, God could really use me to touch lives for him through relationships I form. Pray that I take that leap--that I see the opportunities before me and take them. That I really love the people I work with. I want to bring meaning to this period in my life, to show the love of Christ to the people I encounter. I continually find myself imagining friends, family and co-workers on the day of judgement looking straight into my eyes and asking me why I never told them about Christ. That is so much scarier then zombie chickens, and yet, it seems so much easier to push out of my mind.

It shouldn't be.

What the...

2009-11-20T15:50:00.004-06:00

My roommate from last year is a photographer. This has made me a professional model. Here is the story.

Taylor: Hey Tyler, let me take your picture.

Tyler: OK, let me do something stupid first.

(buzzzzz).

Tyler: Ha! There we go.

Taylor: Oh...wow...

One year later, I receive this email from Taylor.

"Dear Tyler

An image of you has sold through Getty images. It's the one of you against the pink background with your poorly shaved beard. A company paid close to $600 for it. Best of all that company lists itself as an "Addiction Agency." I laughed and laughed and laughed. And then laughed some more. Thought you might get a kick out of it. I owe you a cigar.

-Taylor"

I am the face of addicts everywhere.

Dog

2009-11-19T16:49:00.002-06:00

My family is a pet family. We've had animals since I was very young. Fish, birds, cats, dogs, hamsters. Right now we have a cat and dog; so we're not quite the zoo we have been. Most of these pets have been wonderful, and quite smart. Our first dog wasn't.

It was perhaps the cutest stupid animal to ever gnaw a tennis shoe. One time this dog climbed onto our dinning room table...and peed. I have had many years to contemplate what was (or wasn't) going on in the head of this ridiculous animal. The only logical conclusion I can come to is something like "hmmm....this surface is often full of delicious food, I had better claim it as my territory." Dumb mutt.

I realize that my love for animals is conditional. I am so thankful that God's love for me is not. I have spent so much of my life trying to earn the salvation he has already freely given me. I can't earn his love through my works, and though I pee on the proverbial table all the time, God loves this stupid mutt! His love does not change.

A good friend shared some verses from Hebrews 10 with me; how we can confidently walk into the thrown room of God with clear consciences because Christ, our High Preist, goes before us. Awesome. I especially like verse 14,

"...by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy."

We are made perfect, yet are in the process of being made holy. Already but not yet. Already viewed as perfect even as we are slowly being made perfect. Our God is great. Our High Priest is beautiful.

Philosophy of Humor

2009-11-17T21:57:00.003-06:00

It is my belief that even the lamest joke/pun will be found humorous to the recipient if the deliverer delights in said joke/pun.

If I am wrong, please don't correct me.

John's church plant

2009-11-07T21:16:00.005-06:00

I met John one summer at camp. It's crazy to think that if either one of us had chosen a different path that Summer, I may have missed out on one of my most treasured friendships. I remember one particular week of camp when the youth revealed to us beyond a shadow of doubt the propensity towards wickedness in all mankind. All have sinned and fall short of God's glorious standard; try sleeping in a cabin of boys for a night and you will be convinced of that truth. They stole and hid our clothes, put toothpaste in each other's shoes, ran our boxer's up the flag pole (and through poison ivy...I won't explain how we found that one out), pushed a counselor's refurbished, collector's car down a narrow wooded path scratching the paint on the way, snuck out at night, and used my car shocks as their own personal trampoline. When we said one thing, they challenged us to our faces; practicing deliberate disobedience without a hint of remorse. Yet, when it came time for games and hanging out, we became their greatest buddies. The strong confidence we entered the week with had diminished to jello. We were exhausted, and as is the case at camp, we didn't have much free time. In fact, our only moment of peace was hitting the showers. One evening, as we stood in adjacent shower stalls, the hot water easing the stress from our aching muscles, we talked about our campers and the way they were treating us--the utter disrespect wearing us down. I don't know how that train got into the men's shower room, I swear there were no tracks, but it plowed us both at the same time. We saw with heaven sent clarity that we were those campers before our God. There, standing naked in our stalls, we revealed our darkest sins to one another; the ways we each were spitting in the face of our Saviour. Two sinful servants standing in the shower room. John was half dressed by the time I stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, tears falling from our cheeks as we realized who we were and what we had done to our Lord. We embraced each other and prayed.

That's when one of our campers walked in.

It is a bad idea to hug in a shower room while wrapped in a towel (or any state of dress for that matter). It wasn't until later that John and I even considered what our moment of embracing prayer must have looked like to a horribly confused (and potentially scarred) camper. Its fun to look back at the awkwardness of that situation, but even more so, it is amazing to look back and see God grabbing the hearts of two friends, convicting them, and preparing them for the plans He has for each of us.

John inspires me like very few do. At the age of 23, he has already helped form a church, having lay pastored and preached there for over 2 years. Though he has never gone to a Christian college, his passion and utter excitement for learning, growing, and seeking our faith supersedes that of just about anyone I know, as does his knowledge. John loves God, and loves people. Period. God will use him, because he is willing to be used by God.

Three or four summers ago, my sister had a bible study that John's wife made the over an hour long trek from their home town to attend every week. This gave John and I a good chance to meet, play at the park with his little boy, and catch up. One week, John told me of his dreams to plant a church some day. I casually mentioned to him how Winnipeg might be a good city to plant a church, and we (somewhat) jokingly began to dream how wonderful it would be to be in ministry together some day.

Two weeks ago John quit his job to focus full time on preparing for a church plant; his current thought being in Winnipeg! John has his church planting assessment with ConvergeUSA (our church conference--formerly called the Baptist General Conference) in January. It is so exciting to see a dream beginning to sprout some legs. I share these stories to invite you to pray for John as he prepares for this next step, and makes his final decisions as to where God is calling him.

John has also invited me to consider joining him in this church plant. At this point I couldn't even tell you the likelihood of such a possibility becoming reality; only that I am seriously and prayerfully considering it. I beg your prayers for discernment and wisdom in this very important decision. I believe that God can, and will give us each a very clear sense of where he is calling us, and where he can best use us. I do not want my excitement for working with a beloved friend in a familiar city to distract me from any other path God may have planned for me. It would be easy to stop looking elsewhere for ministry positions. Please pray that wherever God takes each of us, that we will humbly follow his lead in obedience and that we will love him and love people. Period.

Bad Real Estate

2009-11-03T23:06:00.001-06:00

"This is no gopher hole!"

And now for something completely ordinary

2009-10-28T00:49:00.015-05:00

I created my own super hero in third grade. He had his own back story; a dapper young orphan boy with the secret identity of LIGHTNING BOY!(...soon to become Lightning Man--a much more heroic name). My mom even sewed me a costume (under strict design guidelines). After I drew my first draft of my hero, I showed him to one of my friends, who promptly pulled the paper from my hands and said, "Nice, all you need now is this" and carelessly wrote a crooked, jagged "L" on his chest. He took no care to consider how the contours of Lightning Man's muscular physique might affect the way the "L" lay on his chest. He did not consider how the pressure with which he pressed the pencil down upon the paper might make a line much darker then the that seen throughout the rest of the composition. He didn't ask, "Will this "L" match the likeness of the rest of the hero's attire?" No. Instead he made a line that could hardly pass for an "L" even by the standards of a preschooler. Most people would respond by erasing the dastardly line and shading over the mark. My response was to furiously pull my offender's hair. I am sure I almost scalped the poor guy. It took me a few moments to realize fire was shooting from my eyeballs, and that I had gone all Hulk on the poor kid before I sheepishly apologized.

Oh the irony of ironies. I find now that my greatest joy of artistic expression is to take another's piece of art and to draw upon it. Hypocrite that I am, There really isn't any form of expression that I currently enjoy more. I have begun to take old paintings (prints only is my rule...it would be a true shame to ruin someones original), and draw ironic scenes over top. I don't know precisely what it is about my generation that seems to so greatly appreciate the ironic...art, fashion, music, literature...maybe these pieces are my tongue in cheek way of pointing out how we are continually corrupting the natural beauty of God's creation with commercialization and cheap thrills. Maybe our joy in irony is simply the recognition that their truly is nothing new under the sun, and so we simply strive to find new ways of looking at the old. All I know for sure is that I get a kick out of the ironic. I mean really, there is nothing cool about an old man's cardigan sweater....but seriously, old cardigan's are awesome!

A Toast to Maturity

2009-09-19T23:40:00.007-05:00

Summer is coming to an end. The days are getting shorter. The occasional leaf is shedding its green for a coat of yellow, with reds and oranges anxiously awaiting their turn. The air is getting warmer--huh? what!?! (...strange dyslexic Minnesota--reading our seasons backwards!). It is a time of new beginnings, and has always been a favorite time of year for me.

This warm air is filled with even more excitement then in years passed now that I am no longer a student. As Summer's end quickly approaches, I realize I have written nothing about what God has been doing in my life since I stepped from a stage, tassel bobbing and clinging to my beard, with an expensive piece of paper--the result of several years of studying (and falling asleep) in the library--held proudly in my hand. Soon after graduating, I had my 24th birthday. There are a few birthdays that are significant moments in a young persons life--16, when a crazy young person is allowed behind the wheel of several hundred pounds of fast moving metal, 18, when a crazy young person is allowed to choose our country's leaders, and 21, when a crazy young person is allowed to consume intoxicating beverages; but for me 24 hit with a wave of intensity that no birthday before has. Walls of panic and depression began to close in on me as I experienced a "crisis" (here's hoping its not mid life; I'd like to at least reach 50!). I began to recognize that I have been acting like...a crazy young person. Though I have technically been an adult for 6 years, there is very little to suggest that fact. "Man" is a title that should be earned. There are far to many 20-something, 30-something boys--and I am one of them. I am not a man, and seeing that scared and saddened my heart. Though I have held many leadership roles throughout my life, many of which have been in areas of ministry, I am beginning to see the depravity of my own spiritual maturity. I have pridefully viewed myself as a "mature Christian" when I am still living as a child in my faith. I have began to see that there is very little scripture stored in my heart, and lots of garbage taking residence. I had the wonderful opportunity to work at a bible camp this summer, something that most twenty-somethings don't get the opportunity to do, and God revealed a lot to me there. With the majority of my co-workers being under 20, I was impressed with their commitment to working hard, and serving God. They spurred me on in ways they may not realize, and I hope I did the same for them.

I believe that perhaps I have convinced many others (as I convinced myself) of a spiritual maturity in my life, but maturity spreads its roots deeply into integrity; it is not merely who I am in the public eye, but who I am when all alone that speaks of my maturity. God opened a door for me to meet with other Christian men on a weekly basis to talk about our hidden selves--the behind the door selves; the hidden boys that keep us from being open, honest, and Godly men. I am not there yet, but at least now I can say I'm trying.

This summer I told many embarrassing stories from my life to campers around the campfire with the hope of drawing analogies that teach. "Stupid moments from the life of Tyler--that teach." I will try once again.

Every September, Providence has a Welcome Banquet for all the students to usher in a new year. A few years back, as I sat dressed in my finest (a thrift shop suit) at a beautifully decorated table amidst some of my favorite people, in dim candle light with the murmuring of people visiting after a summer apart, my friend across from me said, "Tyler, we haven't visited for quite some time. We should have a nice, deep conversation." I responded by lifting my cup of tea, saying, "Yes we should," and then dumping the cup in my lap. Not on purpose. I missed my mouth. By about 4 inches. It was as if a piece of information was attempting to jump the synapses of my brain, but hadn't gone to the gym for awhile, and didn't have the strength to make the leap. It is hard to have a deep conversation with a girl when your table companions are laughing in your general direction and you have a cup of hot tea wetting your crotch.

Believe it or not; I think there is an analogy for spiritual maturity hidden in this story (I'll allow you to judge whether it be a good one or not). Like me in my three piece, thrift shop suit, we so often put on our best "spiritual" garb so that we can look the part for our brothers and sisters around us. Yet, though we hold God's word--the living water--in our hands, we rarely allow it to make a connection, drinking it down as we should. We all to easily get distracted from conversing with our creator and God, simply content with looking mature rather then being mature.

Yet, there is no need crying over spilt milk (or tea). The important thing is that we strive towards maturity. Like a bibbed child in a high chair, we can lift the living water to our mouths; we may spill, we may emphatically spit it out or miss the mark all together, but at least we are trying, digging in to the food of God's word. We are learning to find nourishment in him, learning to feed ourselves. We all have to go through one messy faced, spaghetti smeared, high chair photo (what parent hasn't taken one of those?) before we learn to eat like adults.

It is important that we examine our maturity. Where are we in our walk? Is it where we believe we are, or are we fooling ourselves? Are you drinking in the living water or are you just holding the cup. Drink up! Savor the beauty of of our Lord. Drink and be satisfied. Become a mature adult, and enjoy a nice, deep conversation.

...maybe put a napkin in your lap.

Bird, Bones, and Something New

2009-09-16T19:41:00.005-05:00

Considering I haven't written anything on here in over five months, I feel I shall break silence. Often, I feel if I have nothing thoughtful or witty to say, then I have no point in writing. It simply wouldn't be worth reading. And I'll tell you flat out, this post won't be worth reading, but it sure will be worth listening to (I hope). After all, what better way to break the silence then with a few tunes. This is what I've been listening to lately.

First off, nothing super new being that his album came out in January; I have been listening to a whole lot of Andrew Bird lately. The guy is a veritable genius--I could swoon over his talent as a multi-instrumentalist, or his amazing voice, but what really gets me is his whistle. Yes. Whistle. You know, that crisp sound from puckered lips; that simple talent most of us learnt in elementry school, and save solely for those moments of thumb twiddling or remembering the Andy Griffith show theme song. Not Andrew. His whistling is done on stage in front of thousands of adoring fans. Yeah, he just learned how to whistle a whole lot better then the rest of us. You will just have to check him out for yourselves if you have not yet had the pleasure.

Secondly, Brand New is coming out with a new album Daisy on Sept. 22. I fell in love with these guys a couple of years ago with their album The Devil and God are Raging inside of Me. Knowing that Lead singer, Jesse Lacey grew up in the church, it is a fascinating listen. One of my favorite albums. You can hear searching and struggle in his lyrics, voice and tone. On the bands myspace page, you can currently hear several (if not all) of their new albums tracks. It didn't grab me the way Tbe Devil and God... did; I think it will have to grow on me a bit, but good none the less. I suggest listening to their last album before checking out Daisy if you are new to the band (oh, and just click on their highlighted name above to get to their myspace page).

Lastly, an act that I am extremely excited about is the pet project of one of my favorite actors, Ryan Gosling. The guy can sing. It is a very unique project being that both Ryan, and band mate Zach Shields didn't really play the instruments they used until approaching the project, and they committed to playing as few takes as possible before recording. Some would say sloppy and stupid, but I say it adds to the charm. Add to that a choir of children dressed in Halloween costumes singing on each track, and you have something incredibly unique and special. Not every one's cup of tea, but I love it. They are called Dead Man's Bones, and their debut releases October 6th.

One more treasure I've discovered is not a band but rather an online music store that is pretty great. The thing about lala that I love besides the fact that they are 100% legal, their prices are great, and that they have almost any band you can think of is that you can listen to nearly any album in its entirety one time through before deciding to buy it. I apologize to my Canadian friends; rumor has it that you cannot access this gift from lala in the great white north. I comfort you with the fact that you have CBC Radio 2 and 3, which, really, is a pretty amazing gift to a music lover's heart in its own right.

There is a high correlation between this joke and my laughter

2009-04-08T23:10:00.002-05:00

Where The Sentimental Childhood Memories Are

2009-04-02T00:31:00.003-05:00

Here is a movie I am incredibly excited for! Maurice Sendak's classic children's story Where the Wild things Are is coming to the big screen, under the direction of Spike Jonze.

Its like cozying on the coach with my sisters in our PJs eating dry cereal or vigorously peeling an orange before bedtime, listening to Dad read a bed time story all over again. *and contented sigh*

Arcade Fire, giant puppet monsters, classic children's story....

This trailer makes me giddy.

God is wooing me

2009-03-15T23:03:00.006-05:00

I am reading an incredible book right now called Incarnation, by Thomas F. Torrance. I'm not super far yet (though I am supposed to turn in a review on it by tomorrow, sigh...shame on me), but it has already blessed me deeply. In my life, I see how much I am Israel; stubborn and rebellious, running away as God pursues. I have not been spending much intentional time with God for quite some time, and there is very little in my life to suggest that Christ is my first love. Yet, he persists. God is wooing my heart and I am amazed. This book is giving me a new and clearer understanding about why God has acted out his plan the way he has; a deeper understanding of the Incarnate Christ, and of the beauty of a love that is beyond comprehension. As I have been reading, there are those moments when all I can say is, WOW!

It's a bit like when a guy is in love, and she does that beautiful and unique thing that is distinctly her, and he thinks, "My goodness, how in the world am I so lucky as to be with this person?"

Right now, I look at my savior and creator and say, "Jesus, how is it that your love is so big and so merciful that you call me your bride?"

I am sure I'll put up a few quotes, or share a few ideas from this book soon (...soonish).

I don't belong here

2009-03-14T23:20:00.003-05:00

Back when I was in high school I was voted Mr. Congeniality of my Sr. class. I felt honored to be given such a title (though I was really hoping for "luscious locks"...), but in one sense, I felt cursed--I could hang out with anybody, but never really felt as if I belonged anywhere. I was a drifter; my connections with my classmates for the most part were amiable, but not deep.

Providence has been my community for five years now, and it has become dear to my heart, so much so that I often grieve at the thought of leaving this place. I've hung out in my professors homes, had fish put in my slippers, performed in front of the friendliest crowds ever during Prov Coffee Houses, danced to "another one bites the dust" numerous times when friends hooked up, puked after wrestling matches, swam in ditches, raced sticks on the Rat River, hucked apples into the dark night sky, ate bugs, preached sermons, mourned the death of beautiful lives, and rejoiced in life found in the beautiful love of Christ's death. I have went deep with these people. This is where I belong.

But, really, it isn't.

College is a peculiar place and time in life, where one comes with the ultimate purpose of leaving. All my years here point me to the door. "Come forth to learn, go forth to teach."

I heard a sermon awhile back by Paul Matthies that reminded me that, as Christians, we are always to remember that this earthly world is not our home. we are not to set our roots to deep, because God will soon call us home with him. Like Israel and Judah before us, we are in exile.

It is the same thing here (albeit on a smaller scale); Prov is not my home. God has a purpose bigger then this place for me. I feel it. I am out growing this place I've called home for so long. Though, my friends here are some of the best I've ever made, our relationships are changing as they enter into long term relationships, marriages, ministries, and countries that pull them a bit further from me (and, appropriately so), tweaking, just a little, who we are to each other. I love them all so much, but once again, I have to say goodbye to a family.

It is a scary thing to know I have to leave; to drift once again with the fear of not really having a place to belong. The fear of being alone. God is teaching me a lot about trust right now. It has been encouraging to look back over the last several years, seeing that in all periods of transition, God had things worked out even before I arrived. I am finding peace in that, though little comfort. But I'm not supposed to be comfortable...I'm not home yet.

Restless

2009-03-09T22:17:00.004-05:00

Restless--scared,
I know that you care,
but right now I just don't see how this could end well,
and its just the beginning.
I usually play it by ear,
Knowing there's nothing to fear.

But carelessness drives a fast car and I'm walking.

I'm worried and alone, and I'm feeling prone
to fall on my face.
Failure, disgrace.
I'm scared to leave this comfortable space.
Pushed out of the womb and into the tomb

But if I don't die, how can I live?

where will I go? I'm scared to be alone!
Do I trust you'll be there? --(...Somthing about lilies and birds of the air...)
I want someone with skin on
...sometimes they just seem more real.

But I know that no one is more real than You.

You ran to me, I'll fall to You.
There isn't anything else I can do.
Tomorrow's a worrier,
and he's full of himself,
So I'll set him back down
up on the shelf.

We'll read that story tomorrow.

If I had a Snoozatron, perhaps I wouldn't fall asleep in the library

2009-02-16T01:01:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I struggle falling asleep at night. recently I have started writing at least one joke every night before I go to sleep. I now have enough jokes for a very poor comedy sketch (poor, unless of course, my whole audience is very tired). Then I practice my routine as I slowly drift off...

I admire Wallace's ingenuity.

I wonder what sheep do when they have trouble sleeping.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T13:00:00.003-06:00

Today is Valentine's Day. Any day devoted to celebrate the essence of who God is; the one who is love, is beautiful in my book.

Talking with a friend, he expressed to me how much he hates this day because of how commercial it is. I understand his frustration. I believe we can make this day what it should be.

Billions of people daily go without the clean water we so greatly take for-granted (I wonder how many liters I used today while washing dishes?).

About 25,000 people die daily of either hunger or hunger related causes--the majority being children. This is about 1 person every 3 seconds.

According to BBC, in 2005 the US and Europe alone profited $15.5 billion in trafficked forced labor. This includes the sex trade.

Thousands of Children are recruited or forced to become Child Soldiers throughout the world. Girls are not excluded from this life style as they are often forced into the military for sexual purposes, combat, and to lay out explosives. It is impossible to know exactly how many children are forced into this life style since so much is hidden on this issue.

In Winnipeg (The city I live near and do my internship in) there are an estimated 1700 homeless.

Someone you cross paths with today is having a really lousy day, and doesn't see God's face.

God deeply loves the marginalized, hurting people of this world, but his expression of this love comes through our hands and feet as Christians. There doesn't seem to be a place for "Singles awareness day" when there are so many people in need of love.

I hope this didn't discourage you, but encourages you and inspires you to live out love. I hope you celebrate love today, and do so by demonstrating it to someone who needs it.

Why Tooth and Nail doesn't Suck Eggs: part III

2009-02-09T23:10:00.007-06:00

Teenage boys have angst. I was a teenage boy once. With an acne covered face, pipe cleaner arms, and my perpetual awkwardness around girls (hmmm..., since I don't have stud appeal going for me, I'll win the ladies by sticking insects in my mouth, balancing on teeter-totters, and snorting jello cubes. OK, the jello cubes were in college.), I turned to the elixir that all teenage boys drown their angst in; beautiful, blissful, angstful emo music.

My arms are still pipe cleaners (but I am getting a gym pass), and I still eat insects (they are good protein). I have, however, given up standing on see-saws (one broken arm to many for those shenanigans), and only get the occasional zit in times of stress. And in those times of stress, I still turn to those emo bands that helped an awkward teenage boy express his emotions oh so many years ago.

Please allow me to clarify. These were back in the days before emo became a swear word and joke in the music world. A couple bands in the mid nineties (Sunny day Real Estate, being one of the primary and most important; Fugazi being the first) formed this new and interesting genre, and by the late nineties-early 00s emo was the thing to be, so bands in high school would ask,

"what should we call our genre?"

"I don't know....emo is cool. lets be emo."

"OK."

Pretty soon every band was doing this until what was "unique" and cool eventually became lame and satirized to no end.

It happened to grunge before it (remember when everyone liked Creed, and then when everyone hated Creed?), and will happen to "indie" next (don't worry, it won't affect the music...all the bands that once called themselves emo just call themselves indie or punk now and still basically sound the same).

There are those bands that have a way of helping you understand yourself; that speak into a situation that you couldn't quite express any other way. Singing "Getting over you" with Acceptance after a high school break up, or singing a Copeland song with that cute girl from youth group on your mind that you know is out of your league; these were the bands that told me what I was feeling when I couldn't quite peg it myself.

A couple of those bands on Tooth and Nail were Further Seems Forever, The Juliana Theory, Anberlin, Mae, and underOATH.

Its not hard to see most of these bands success and contribution to the music world. Anberlin is now a major label success, Mae has been on Capitol records, and is now doing there own thing independently (a current trend it seems; Radiohead, Switchfoot...).

UnderOATH first created the classic screamo sound that every screamo band would eventually try to emulate with their acclaimed They're Only Chasing Safety, and then drastically changed their sound and hit number 2 on the billboard 200 in 2006, the first time a Christian artist had done so since '97--not just a Christian band--a METALCORE Christian band; #2 on the Billboard 200! wow. Their latest album, Lost in the Sound of Separation only got the best of reviews from just about everyone.

The Juliana Theory developed quite a fan base, and developed the emo genre greatly. Singer and guitarist, Brett Detar's other project Zao has done volumes for Christians in the metalcore genre (underOATH included)--and simply for metalcore in general--having been labeled one of the hardest bands....ever.

But the band I really want to focus on is the one I called favorite throughout high school.

Further Seems Forever did emo right. I jumped on board with their second album, How to start a fire, but each of their records were brilliant (each of the three albums had a different lead vocalist).

Arguably, FSF greatest contribution to the world of music isn't anything they did, but rather jump starting the career of Chris Carrabba of Dashboard Confessional fame. I say arguably because I love FSF far more then Dashboard (don't get me wrong, I feel no shame in stating that Dashboard is great).

Each lead singer brought something unique and beautiful to the mix that set apart each album. Yet, it never felt like you were listening to a new band...even though the style of lyrics and singing change quite a bit.

with Chris Carrabba on The Moon is Down, you got that standard emo vibe. Just beautiful music. It's really no surprise that Jeremy Enigk of Sunny Day R. Estate came along to help Chris get Dashboard going strong (Oh, and there's another side note. At one point the famed Jeremy Enigk was on T&N records with a band called Poor Old Lu with the likes of Aaron and Jesse Sprinkle--Aaron now an amazing producer and head of the band Fair, and Jesse drumming for Demon Hunter as well as several other bands).

Jason Gleason (now of ActionReaction) led for their second album, How to Start a Fire. Jason brought his amazing voice, and his strangeness. "...the trees are tired from breathing sharks keep moving never stopping..."--what the heck kind of lyrics are these?! Even if the album makes no sense, it is still one of my favorites. ever.

Jon Bunch (formerly of Sense Field) also brought his unique, beautiful and warm voice to the helm of FSF. He also brought the most powerful lyrics that the band ever had. Hide Nothing is more worshipful then many worship albums. Lead the Way has become my life song.

Tooth and Nail deserves props for discovering some truly beautiful and innovative bands that lead in the formation of modern emo music. I'll pump the fists of my pipe cleaner arms to these bands any day.

David After Dentist aka best youtube video ever!

2009-02-07T01:05:00.001-06:00

I can't wait to have kids!

This is what the father had to say about the video.

"This is my 7 year old son who had an extra tooth removed last summer, 2008.

I had the camera because he was so nervous before and I wanted him to see the before and after.

He was so out of it after, I had to carry him out of the office. The staff was trying to keep from laughing. I had tears from laughing so hard.

He is doing fine now and the teeth are great.

Best of all he is the best kid as is his brother William. I couldnt have asked for two better sons!"

I love seeing dads enjoying being dads.

2009-02-04T23:04:00.002-06:00

When nothing is certain, you are.

When I feel broken and unloved, I am broken and deeply loved.

When I wonder if I am worth anyone's time, you long for time with me.

When every fiber of my being screams failure, you scream son.

When I long to be held, you remind me I am.

When nothing is beautiful, you are.

Why Tooth and Nail doesn't Suck Eggs: part II

2009-01-30T00:00:00.006-06:00

When thinking early Tooth and Nail, people often think of punk music; MxPx, Slick Shoes, Calibretto 13. Me, I entered the T&N universe in their emo glory days...and I'm not even ashamed to say it (Further Seems Forever will always be close to my heart).

Though it would be hard to guess looking at the label today, T&N has also made some pretty significant contributions to the folk rock world.

Lets start with a band called Danielson that signed with T&N back in '97. Daniel Smith was just a young gun at the time and had created a band with his siblings as a thesis project for college. What other label out there at the time would sign Danielson, Christian or otherwise? You just don't hear bands like Danielson on Sparrow records(...his voice is like nails on a chalk board, yet peculiarly endearing at the same time). T&N has opened the doors to several young artists who wouldn't have had a chance anywhere else. This was an incredibly wise move for T&N. When we look to the indie music cannon, Pitchfork, we see that Danielson (who is Daniel Smith) is one of the great kings of the indie realm. He has gone by many a title. Danielson, Brother Danielson, Danielson Famile, and TriDanielson. Though his name has changed, the music world's respect for him has not (Pitchfork gave his album, Ships, a 9.1 rating...this is almost unheard of). And this is why Danielson (and therefore Tooth and Nail) is so important:

Danielson befriended and mentored a young fellow named Sufjan Stevens (one of the biggest names--the indie darling--of the indie scene) , and released his record, Seven Swans on his label, Sounds Familyre. Yes, Daniel Smith has his own label with many names that have cult followings (Wovenhand and Half-handed cloud are a couple of my faves).

Sufjan has his own label (asthmatic kitty records) that has made quite the stir in the indie pot as well. You may have heard some of these names if indie music is a world you commonly frequent: My Brightest Diamond, Welcome Wagon, Shapes and Sizes ...

Yes, it's true, this indie tree is beginning to stray far from it's T&N roots. Fair enough, but I just like to ponder what the music world may have missed out on if Tooth and Nail didn't give a young Daniel Smith his big break, and he in turn didn't reach out to dear, young Suf.

There are a few other folk legends that had a stint on Tooth and Nail as well-- Pedro the Lion (David Bazan), Damien Jurado, Denison Witmer (he went by the name "The River Bends" at the time). All of these guys have played a huge roll in the indie-folk scene, and have albums that have received stunning reviews. Tooth and Nail brought Pedro the Lion to the world (something that they may not be so proud of anymore due to his controversial content; David Bazan also recently announced his becoming agnostic). Whether you are a David Bazan fan or not, there is no denying the incredible influence he has played in the indie music world (David Bazan rubs shoulders with Ben Gibbard from Death Cab For Cutie, for example).

Damien Jurado has had an album produced by David Bazan, and got his big break when Jeremy Enigk of Sunny Day Real Estate fame spotted him, and encouraged Sub Pop records to sign him. They released his first full length album back in '97; the same year T&N released an E.P. for Jurado. This is significant because it opened Jurado to two different audiences; widening his fan base.

Witmer hangs out with the likes of Rosie Thomas and Sufjan Stevens, as is apparent in Rosie's album, These Friends of Mine in which both Sufjan and Witmer make appearances. Witmer had released several albums before he released The River Bends on T&N, but to have that caliber of an artist on a label says something about the qaulity of the label.

So there you have it, Several influential artists who have all had a stint--or even began on T&N; each owing a debt of gratitude to this label for bringing their music to a wider public. Who would have thought that the label that brings us the hardcore gutteral screams of Underoath could be the same label that shared with us the gentle folk melodies of Denison Witmer?

More to come soon.

Why Tooth and Nail doesn't Suck Eggs: part I

2009-01-29T23:39:00.007-06:00

I am a bit of a music snob. I admit it. In fact, I go beyond admitting it, I relish in the title. I like to try to follow the indie scene. I occasionally read paste, HM, pursue the web for music blogs, check out who pitchfork is currently raving about, and on the rare occasion, I have even cracked the pages of RollingStone. By no means do I declare myself an expert in the world of indie music. I am just an indie loving, hipster-want-to-be, who is not ashamed to admit his crush on Rebecca St. James (and really...that’s not very hipster of me). Acknowledging that my opinions do not follow the strict sect of hipsterdom, or their cannon--Pitchfork, I have to bring to surface what I believe to be a great sin of the indie music world. This is the out right down play of Tooth and Nail Records. Senior writer for Spin magazine and author of "Body Piercing Saved My Life; inside the phenomenon of Christian rock" (great book by the way), Andrew Beaujon says, "...it's really quite astonishing how few of Seattle's hipsters know that there is a local independent rock label that routinely sells hundreds of thousands of CDs and it isn't named Sub Pop or Barsuk."

I confess, I have been rocked and nurtured in the proverbial embrace of T&N since I was an indie infant, so they are a label close to my heart whom I would fight tooth and nail (pun completely intended) for. However, as I approach my critical indie adolescence I have become aware of a few of T&N supposed "faults".

It is true that Tooth and Nail has a niche that will follow them to the ends of the earth. Any band who signs to T&N is bound to have thousands of fans before they have even started touring (heck, if in some hellish parallel universe Nickelback signed with T&N, they might even gain a couple fans...I shutter at the thought) just because of the immense fan base that T&N as a label carries.

It is also true that many of Tooth and Nail's bands sound a lot alike; those Anberlin fill-ins after the band's exit and move to Universal Republic Records. But lets not hold that against T&N either. T&N is a business, and these are the bands their target audience (the youngins) are listening to these days. Certainly they have some bands that currently fall far from the category of pop alternative (whether for better or worse, I will leave you to decide)--Neon Horse, Joy Electric, Surrogate, and Corey Crowder are a few that come straight to mind.

Perhaps the greatest thing that Tooth and Nail has going against their "cool" factor in the indie scene is what Andrew Beaujon calls "one of the last politically correct prejudices"--that its ok to ignore a Christian label because it's a Christian label.

The problem is that in the fast past world of indie music, the great accomplishments of Tooth and Nail have been forgotten, or flat out ignored because of their Christian status. And so here it is, here I make my oh-so-bold claim; there are few indie labels that have made such an impact on both the general and indie market as Tooth and Nail.

"What!" you say. Are you seriously claiming that the label that brings us KJ-52 has been one of the greatest contributors to the indie music scene?!?!

Yes. Yes I am.

In my next few posts I will attempt to reveal the impact T&N has had in the music world in the past sixteen years.

Instead of a show

2009-01-22T23:47:00.001-06:00

The best songs are those that reach in to your chest, grab your heart and twist a bit just to remind you its there--and challenge you to live that way. This evening I heard a song I've heard before, but this time I really listened to it, and it breaks me. It's Jon Foreman's Instead of a Show.

"You turned your back on the homeless, the ones who don't fit in your plan, quit playing religion games, there's blood on your hands."

I am afraid for my future in ministry. But not simply in ministry, I am afraid for my walk as a Christian. How much of it is a show? How much of my integrity am I willing to sacrifice for comfort? Will I pursue justice, or convenience, God or glory, security or servanthood? Who's name will be exalted? Will I walk the path of ease and comfort or that of wreckless abandon to my Savior? Where does my trust lie? What is the value of my words?

And forget all these "What will I do" questions--What am I doing?

It is so easy for me to cry out for justice. But crying is just crying. Babies do that. I want to be known as a man who pursues Justice.

Instead of a show.

But

2008-12-22T22:30:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas from the Stynsberg Fam!

Last night, our church had it's children's Christmas program once again. This is one of my highlights every year. The greatest message ever told placed in the hands of 3 and 4 year olds just seems so appropriate; not unlike those peculiar messengers who were first told by angels to go and proclaim the Messiah's birth, wandering out of breath, and with the smell of sheep on their clothes to the bed of a king wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger.

After the program there were cookies and visiting, laughter and hugs, and Foosball (I had to school some little kids in some Foos). As we were playing, a little boy, probably five, ran to the table to address his friend,

"Owen, I have been looking all over for you! I want to play with you. We have a world to save! We must defeat evil!"
I bellowed,
" Yes! Go save the world! Defeat evil where ever it may lurk!"

They made me smile and laugh, and reminded me that Christmas is all about a little baby boy who came to earth to save the world, bring peace, and defeat evil.

Well done boys. Thats the Christmas Spirit.

Kids teach me a lot, but I learn from adults occasionally too. Pastor Pat talked about the significance of a single, simple word in the Christmas story: but.

"..and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."--Luke 2:18-19

You don't need to be a Greek scholar to catch the significance of this word. "But" always means there is an idea different then that which has already been presented. Notice that everyone who heard what the shepherds shared were amazed. It is easy to be amazed with such an amazing story! But it was Mary who held on to it all. When everyone else's amazement eventually faded in the distractions, and business of life; Mary pondered and continued to hold onto it all.

In the loudness of the Season, will the amazement of what Christ has done fade in presents, Christmas specials on TV, and to much egg nog, or will we continually ponder the Incarnate God in the body of a baby boy who came to save us?

God Bless, Friends! Merry Christmas.

Getting to know my soul

2008-12-20T13:11:00.010-06:00

I try to be careful how much of myself I reveal on my blog. The internet is a big frontier with many wandering and exploring eyes, and I don't know how I feel about letting my most personal bagage spill out for anyone to see. And yet, it is so easy to do; to make a blog a personal counselor. You can say whatever you want, be as open or closed as you want, and not have to worry about having to look into someone elses eyes in person-to-person vulnerability. And you still get to share yourself and have the satisfaction of imagining whomever you want reading your blog, and having sympathy for you.

At the same time, it is just as easy to only present your best face on your blog, only revealing the pieces you want others to see. Blogs are very strange things, and a fairly lousy way of really getting to know a person honestly.

I think a good question to ask while writing a blog is, "is this for my benefit only, or will someone else get something out of this." I confess, I was quite tempted to spill my guts on this blog, but gut stains are a horrible mess to clean up, and the only reason I would do it is to make myself feel good, and avoid the actual benefit of talking to real people about my real issues, and really sorting them out through real connections in real relationship. With real confrontation.

I picked up Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell Again, a book I started reading over a year ago, and never finished. I reread a chapter, and as a result, have been feeling pretty lousy the last couple days. If I can summarize it by memory, it basically deals with the masks we put on to hide all of the pain we live in; how salvation is a current state and not just a future state, but how so many people refuse to live in the redemption and salvation that Christ offers now, because we are afraid to connect with our souls. To connect with our souls would mean we would have to be honest with ourselves about the pain we carry, and to do that would mean we would have to be honest with others.

It is truly amazing how a guy who grew up in a Christian home with loving parents, good grades, good friends, and a good church could still have garbage in his past that stings in the present. I think we all have those things that hurt, those things that we don't want to admit to ourselves, things we pretend don't really matter that much. And so we disconnect ourselves from them, but the pain affects how we live our day to day lives, and we can't escape on our own.

We need to confess. It is easier to tell the whole world over the internet then it is to sit down with the one or two people who really need to hear our heart's pain, and who need to share with us as well. Brush your soul with someone else's, so that you can live freely, so that you can be healed and live in the redemption of Christ. Salvation is now.

Challenge

2008-12-19T13:03:00.001-06:00

I challenge anyone to watch an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and not cry. I suffice to say it is not humanly possible.

Why I won't be getting that shirt for Christmas

2008-12-16T00:15:00.006-06:00

I am a self proclaimed music junkie. Like many people with my condition, I own quite a few band tee shirts. back in the day, you could expect to find a "fruit of the loom" or "Hanes" tag on your shirt, but know when you check the collar, chances are you will find a narrow tag that reads "American Apparel". The loom is a thing of the past, and Michael Jordan won't be getting his Hanes on nobody anymore, because American Apparel seems to be the new tee to print on. And apparently, for good reason. First, lets face it...their clothes are dang comfy, and heck! They look good! Second, they are made in the U.S. No Sweatshops. To a generation that is perhaps more socially aware then ever before and eager to fight for social justice, this seems like a pretty good deal. Hip, cheap, clothes that look good, feel good and don't exploit the third world. Sweet.

...to bad they exploit women. I won't be buying any American Apparel clothing ever again.

If you have a Facebook or MySpace Account, chances are you have seen an American apparel ad. American Apparel has garnered a reputation for its sexualized advertisements, but now they have taken it a step further--American Apparel now advertises with nudity.

I am not a fan of blog rants, but for this case, I will break my own code, and let the steam fly. How any company can be irresponsible enough to have their web page laid out in such a way that any random person can stumble upon nudity without a single written warning is beyond my comprehension. How they can get away with it is even more boggling. But this is what really stokes my fire--why is it that so many Christian bands, causes, organizations, and schools are printing on these tees? Granted, American Apparel hasn't always used nudity, but they have always had sexualized advertising, and it only takes a quick Google search to see that American Apparel CEO Dov Charney is a bit of a shady character. In an effort to make this blog less uncomfortable then it already is, I'll give a couple links for those who would like to read up on this guy.
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Business/story?id=1362781
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14082498/

So, I end with this question; what kind of message are we sending as Christians when we buy clothes from a brand that identifies them self in such a way? What behavior are we condoning by buying a shirt with an American Apparel tag? No one may know its an American Apparel shirt, but they are still making money. Price, comfort and fashion...even "American-made" ethics cannot balance the scale when the exploitation of 50% of the human race sits on the other side. So, I encourage you to take off your American Apparel clothes....that's what their models are doing.

Simple Pleasures

2008-11-02T19:37:00.002-06:00

The last couple of days have been beautiful here in southern Manitoba. I have been told that tomorrow it is supposed to be 16 Celsius. For my American friends, let me delve into my knowledge of the last 4 years living in Canada and convert that for you. That is….pretty nice out. The other day, I sat outside on the bank of the river down the bridal path in the sun reading a book, and I was reminded of the simple pleasures I find in this place.

One of those most definitely is the Bridal path; a beautiful path through the woods along the river. I love to wander the paths in those times I need to be alone, to think, to pray, to procrastinate (let's be honest here), to yell at God, to praise God, to be myself before God. It’s amazing how often I will see deer or other wildlife. Just the other day as I was sitting on the river bank, I saw what looked like a log floating along…until I realized it was swimming--towards me. This muskrat (at least I assume it was a muskrat) swam right towards me to within a few feet, starred quizzically at me for a couple of seconds, and then dove beneath the murky waters. I heard the knocking of a woodpecker, the rustling of branches, saw the glint of sun on the water, and was struck by the beauty of the moment.

Walks. I love walks here at Prov. Whether it be late at night under the shining stars, unpolluted by city light, or during the day, trudging out past the lagoon and through the woods, or simply walking to and from my apartment building to the school. I walk back and forth a lot living in Prov house, and though at times it becomes tedious, and I choose to hope in my car and drive the distance instead, I am trying to be a bit more environmentally (and wallet) friendly and walk often. One of my favourite parts of this walk earlier this year was a bush I would walk by. It was thick with green leaves, and every time I would walk by, about 20 or so birds would fly out. It always boggled me; like natures version of how many clowns can you fit in one car. Some of my best conversations at Prov have been on late night walks with friends.

The Cafeteria is another joy of mine here at Prov. I love when all of my friends are gathered around the table laughing, sharing stories, and patiently enduring my puns. The cafeteria is what makes Prov what it is. I can spend hours in that place talking and nursing a cup of tea. Some of my dearest friendships have been formulated in that place.

Tea times are another simple joy. It’s amazing how a nice warm drink, dimmed lights, and some quiet music can bring out the best of conversation. I miss those stories with Mike Quiring and Dom Gagne that would teach and make me my sides hurt with laughter. I enjoy the fellowship I have with my friends now every Tuesday night. These people are some of the most precious friends I have.

Simplicity of life in the middle of nowhere. Over the years, we’ve had to make our own fun here at Prov, and I’m sad to say that I think we may be slowly loosing this ability…or at least maybe I am. I remember the joys of the apple hucking club…simply finding the fun in chucking rotten apples from the cafeteria at trees, dumpsters, or straight up into the dark night sky and then running to dodge the mushy missile before it splattered on the ground. Or games like “can’t touch the ground” where we tight rope across the railings from the student center to the well. Stick races in the Rat River when the water is high enough to move them, and of course the Human Bridge. My all time favourite is boys against girls charades, however. Where else are you going to get a girl to act out “urinal cake” or “nothing”?

There are many young couples in Seminary here at Prov with little kids. I love watching these little ones when they are in the school. As everyone moves busily above them with a destination and goal in mind, they stand there low to the ground, wide eyed and full of wonder, drinking it all in, eager to learn what the environment can teach them. I am continually amazed at a child’s ability to find joy in a piece of string, or a rock. There is so much we can learn from a child, so much we have forgotten with age.

What would a simple pleasures list be without music! When I am washing the dishes, it is always nice to have some sweet tunes in the background, or a good sermon. My current favourite: Bob Dylan. The man is a genius. Sure he is a bit of an acquired taste, but so is coffee, and there is a reason that Starbucks rules the world. Same reason that Bob Dylan will always be remembered as one of the greatest American musicians ever. I think Bob found joy in simple pleasures too.

In search of my socket

2008-10-13T00:44:00.012-05:00

Like bent up rungs in search of a socket.

A worn out photograph found in a pocket,

that just doesn't bring a smile anymore.

A fly with his wings plucked crawling around.

I want to fly, but I'm stuck on the ground.

Just like the lone ranger,
been made a stranger,
feeling the danger,
and anger!

I'm spinning in circles, but don't know where to go. Mind moving fast and at the same time slow....I don't know. no.

When will this depression reach a recession?

Lost and loss

Lonely and phony.

God, do I have your permission to feel this way?

I have all the friends in the world, but no where to turn. oh I Yearn!

I yearn for Community, true immunity.

I want to be whole, and fill this hole.

God, Its so hard to come to you when I need you the most, so could you come and get me?

I want to talk, but don't know what to say...don't even know how I got this way.

I know people are waiting for this thing to be "happy" and "sappy"...but dang anyway, I'm feeling CRAPPY.

Please pick me up!
I'm watching this reel that feels so real, so cut the film of this horror flick!

feeling sick.

change the perception of this man in deception.

Sometimes grief just can't be brief, but when it feels like hell...You are there still.

When he hung there, you turned away. Let me not forget that you know deep pain.

We'll hurt together, and you'll hurt with us too. Right now, that just about all we can do.
Father bring me deep into you and to them. Can't be alone, when I'm drowning again.

I can't be alone.

please plug me in.

A single thought

2008-09-20T19:20:00.023-05:00

I was in two of my best friends weddings this summer, and went to a couple more.

With a nauseous stomach and two smiling faces, some friends informed me they are expecting their second child.

Every time I open facebook, it seems that someones status has changed to "engaged".

In light of all this, I have spent a considerable amount of time lately eating wedding cake, as well as contemplating the life of the single adult.

As I stood on stages in uncomfortable shoes and rented tuxes watching my friends gazing intently into the eyes of the women they will spend the rest of their lives with, I couldn't help but feel as if there was something wrong with me. Am I not good enough? Am I faulty, immature? Am I worth some one's time? Next, I felt a sense of urgency. Boy I got to get on the ball. I am falling behind. I better find my "other half." But now I ask myself this question: Why? Why is it so important to get hitched?

Single has become such a loaded word. "Single" often translates to "romantic opportunity"(i.e. "She's cute and single, go for it!). Instantly a persons identity is found in his or her availability rather then in their character and purpose. I often feel as if my maturity is being sized up by my relationship status as well. Whether intended or not, I can't help but feel as though when people back home ask, "So, are you seeing anyone right now?" it is no different then if they were to ask, "So, have you grown up yet?"

In a culture that has demonized the single life, I began to realize that I have bought into many of the lies...along with the rest of the church. Singleness is often viewed as a trap to escape rather then a gift to appreciate while it lasts, or a calling to embrace for life. I laughed (a sad laugh) to myself when I recently visited a well know christian singles website only to discover that it is sponsored by eHarmony as if to say, "There is still hope!"

It is fairly easy to recognize the gift of married life. One pastor explained that marriage is God's way of helping us understand what it means for God to live in perfect community with Himself (Father, Son and Holy Spirit), as well as to teach us about the love between Christ and his bride, the church. Likewise, one of my pastor friends preached one Sunday from Genesis, pointing out that the only thing that wasn't good before the fall of man, was that man was alone. I find this fascinating. Adam walked in the garden with God, yet he was created with a need for relationship with other people. In essence, marriage is all about community.

So while marriage is all about community, singleness is all about...community. I will say flat out that I hate the term "single". It implies being alone, but no man is an island to himself. Whether married or not, we were created for community. God calls us to himself and into his church. In a sinless world, where man met face to face with God, he still had a need. That need was community with people. Our community is the Church.

Yet it isn't a struggle for most singles to recognize that they need people, the problem is when that truth is skewed: the lie, "When I meet the right person, then I will be fulfilled," or "If only I weren't single, then I would be happy." It's this problem of putting all our hope in one person. I have dated a couple of very wise, very kind, and very godly women, but no person could ever fulfill the deep longings of my heart. I long to wander through the garden with my creator, feeling the grass between my toes, the sun on my face. To breathe in the lilac sweetened air and learn from the One who knows me better then I do. I am not single, I am the bride of Christ, walking through the garden with Him, and the rest of the church walks with us.

Just as being married opens a person's eyes to see and understand God in ways others can't, being single opens opportunities to see and understand God and this world in ways that a married person can't. One of my favorite books is "Who's Child is This?" by Bill Wilson, the story of the the beginnings of Metro Ministries in Brooklyn, New York. Bill started a Sunday school ministry to 22,000 children who would have never heard Jesus name outside a swear word; children who hear gunshots and screaming more often then laughter and singing. Children who know what it means to be hungry, and how it feels to be hit. Bill has loved kids in a neighborhood where he has been stabbed and had his face bashed with a brick. He lives right amongst the people he has chosen to love and serve, rather then in the safety and comfort of the suburbs. He is surrounded by violence as he lives ministry. A tough question can be asked: how would Bill's life and ministry look if Bill was married and had children? I am not saying that at no time would it be appropriate for a family to live in this type of neighborhood and minister there, these are the type of questions couples must decide together, but a single person has more freedom to go where the need is without concern for the safety of family.

Paul puts it this way to the Corinthians,

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband."--1st Corinthians 7:32-34

To be married is a blessed and rewarded life, a special gift from God. It is time for the church to embrace and recognize singleness as a blessed gift as well. Singleness is not a disease that needs to be cured. Rather, God is using brave single men and women to "cure" broken people with his love.

Clear skies and sunny

2008-08-26T16:03:00.004-05:00

It appears I will indeed be spending one more year in Canada! My study permit still has not come, and I have had no luck with any phone calls, but my dad and I swung on over to the Canadian Border crossing today to see if they had any thoughts. I talked with Jerry for a bit (good ol' Jerry, I like that guy) and he gave immigration a call for me. It turns out that as long as I carry my old permit and a copy of my receipt for the new one with me, that should be sufficient until the real deal arrives. Beautiful!

As long as we are on the topic of God's provision, I am now the owner of a car, a 99 Mitsubishi Galant. I have named him tentatively Quick Silver. I know, I know...I haven't had the best of luck with cars, The General's engine ceased on me, and his rear suspension fell out...as I was driving. Ol' Blue would die in the middle of intersections, and Death Cab For Cutie had no breaks. Then there was mom and dad's car that I crashed into an abandoned van parked facing me in my lane on an icy country road with its lights off (WTCrap!). But I remain hopeful with Quick Silver. Once I drove him home, ...he died, but he now has a brand new battery and is puring Gallantly (ha!, get it Galant-Gallantly...).

Quick is in good condition which according to Carfax.com means he is worth about $2,990. The people I bought Quick from were selling him for $2,500, and were prepared to come down to $2,250 (already a steal). Not knowing how much Quick was worth, and knowing I couldn't afford more then $2,000 I made the offer, and they accepted. It wasn't until I was home that I realized how blessed I was to get such an amazing deal. Those car keys were prayed into my hands. God provides.

Slight Chance of Rain

2008-08-25T00:37:00.004-05:00

I am afraid I have some unfortunate news to share with you all. You see, I died yesterday in a tragic vacuum cleaner accident. I know, really sucks....

No, just kidding (August Fools!) I am alive and well, but I do have some potentially bad news. There is a slight chance I may not be able to go to Providence College this year. I know, bummer, eh--but far better then being dead, I gotta say.

Let me fill you in on my current state of being, and how I came to this realization:

I had returned from an amazing summer in Arkansas, stretched and challenged, and full of God's grace, a few fun stories, and a heart ready to look at life with new eyes. I also came home with a question...

"Mom, Dad, did my study permit come in the mail yet?"

At the end of last school year, I had to renew my Canadian study permit, being that I am returning as the not so common fifth year senior (permits are only good for four years, I guess). The permit has not yet come in the mail...it should have come 2 months ago. I don't think I will be allowed to start school without a valid study permit.

I have made a couple calls, and in order to check on the status of my permit, my Client ID number is needed. Here is where it gets really messy. When I look at the study permit I received four years ago as a beardless, trembling kneed freshman, someone forgot to fill in the blank that says "Client ID #" which means I have no clue what that number is.

To be honest with you, I have no idea how serious this is, or if this situation can be remedied easily.

This summer, one of the talks we gave was on Mark 4:35-41. In this passage, Jesus is with his disciples in a boat in the middle of a storm. The water is beating down, the wind is ripping at their skin, their clothes are drenched and plastered to their bodies. Waves crash against them as they cling to anything they can, fearful that they will be swamped. And then there is Jesus. Asleep. Utter chaos; complete peace. The disciples are like, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?!?"

Then Jesus blows them away by calming the storm with his own voice.

But the most intriguing part of the story is how Jesus responds to his disciples. "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

Unbelievable--the disciples have this near death experience and Jesus is asking them where their faith is at, why they are afraid. Deadly storm...I'm thinking I would be a bit uneasy as well.

But the question makes more sense when we put it in this context.

God was in the boat.

Jesus created the rain, those waves, that wind. He created the storm. He was with the disciples in the utter chaos, and he was at total peace. God was in the boat, and he is greater then the storm.

This week has been stressful and exhausting, with all the uncertainties that come wrapped in a silly piece of paper and a few numbers that seem to hold my future in their grasp. I have worried as I think of the possibility of not being able to walk the graduation aisle with some of my dearest friends this year, and not having the opportunity to room with one of my best friends. But the truth is that God holds my future in his hands, not a study permit and ID number. I have been telling young people that God is with them in their storms all summer long, and now He has given me this opportunity to remember that He is with me in this boat. God's hands are present in this storm, and it is His voice that will see me out of it. I may not know what the other side looks like yet, but it is far greater then I could ever imagine.

So, this may be nothing. It's possible it could all be settled by tomorrow. Yet there is the ever so slight chance that this could keep me from college. Whatever the case, I am choosing to trust the one who is at peace in all storms, and would appreciate your prayers.

Blessings

2008-08-05T23:14:00.005-05:00

"May God Bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, sot that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

And the Blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, be upon you and remain with you forever.

Amen."

--a Franciscan blessing

Lord, fill my heart with desire for you

2008-07-29T00:03:00.001-05:00

"I have had at times such delicious thoughts on the Lord, I am ashamed to mention them."-- Brother Lawrence

Seeing God

2008-07-23T14:24:00.003-05:00

God has been stretching me in ways I did not expect this summer. I knew I would be taken out of my comfort zone, but I did not know that God would begin to stir questions deep in my heart; radical questions...soul questions.

One thing that God is revealing to me this summer is how deceitfully wicked my heart is. I know that is a sentence most people wouldn't have seen coming...

"What did God teach you this summer as a staff for YouthWorks?"

--"That I am deceitfully wicked."

"...oh."

That just doesn't seem to be the number one response to that question. But this is the message that God is placing in my heart.

Every four evenings a week, I share God's word through talks with youth. This is my job whether my heart and mind are in the right place or not.

When I was working as a part time youth pastor, I never fully grasped what God was trying to teach me in that time, but I think I am beginning to see some of that now. I think one reason I could never stand to be called "Pastor Tyler" when I worked at the church in Warroad was because somewhere deep down I couldn't stand to recognize that a deceitfully wicked man was given the responsibility of speaking truth into the lives of young people. I felt I had no right.

Matthew 5:8 stings when I read it, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." It hurts because where does that leave those with dirty hearts; people like me? It leaves us blinded to God. Our eyes, hearts, minds become so focused on the dirt and the clutter that it is all we see--its all we want to see. How can I help others see God if I am blinded to him?

There are some very obviously impure things that blind us to God, but then there are those things that are pure until we let them have a thrown in our life before God. Matt Chandler reminds us that Paul in Philippians 3:8 counts all things rubbish that don't give us more of Christ. God has been calling me to examine what is on the thrown of my heart. If my heart isn't pure, and if I am not seeking Him, then I am not seeing God. And the scary thing is that I and a lot of people think we are seeing God when we really aren't. Our hearts are to wicked to see Him, and we can be deceived into thinking we know Him when we really don't. I referenced Matthew 7:21-23 in an earlier post, and I reference it again because this is what God is stirring in my heart, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven." It scares me to know that it is possible to think I know Christ, to think I have experienced Him, but to not truly know Him or see Him because my heart is impure, and disobedient. It scares me to think that I invite the creation onto the thrown of my life before the Creator. Have I ever truly put the Creator first, or have I just pretended to. Have you? I pray that I truly know Him; that I haven't made up a fake god that satisfies me, but isn't real. I pray that you know him too.

I know that I can't see or know God fully this side of Heaven, His face is now but a poor reflection until that day I see Him face to face when I am fully reconciled to my king. But I now believe that its not possible to "just get by" with Christ. We either love and serve him as our Lord and Savior, or we don't.

We cannot save our souls, we can only give them to the God who can. A soul cannot be divided, we either give ourselves to Him or we don't.

My heart is deceitfully wicked, keeping me from seeing and knowing God the way I could. I want to humble my heart, surrender my sin, turn from all wickedness, and seek his face. I want to be pure. I want to see God.

"Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land."--2 Chronicles 7:14

Carrot Top and Chris Martin do not look alike

2008-07-15T23:12:00.004-05:00

Here are a few of the people I have been told I look like this summer:

Pre-Haircut:
"You look like Jesus"--(though Jesus is not Scandinavian and we really have no clue what he looks like)
"You look like Moses from the Prince of Egypt."--(Once again Moses wasn't Scandinavian...and I'm not a cartoon...but I'll take that comparison.")
"You look like Carrot top."--(hey now, don't be saying things like that)
"You look like Shawn White" --(I am a very pathetic snowboarder...and landed on my back trying to ollie a skate board once)

Post-Haircut:
"You look like the guy from "Twenty Eight Days Later"."--(Just because we are both skinny and have bad hair cuts does not mean we look alike)
"You look like Ryan Seacrest"-- (Seriously? Really?)
"You look like Chris Martin from Coldplay"--(I'm OK with this. He is brilliant...and married to Gwyneth Paltrow)

Arkansas Favorites

2008-07-14T22:49:00.007-05:00

Favorite Arkansas words:

Y'all-- as in; "Y'all can go to Sonic for a smoothie during free time if you bring an adult leader and at least one other participant with you."

Fixin-- as in; "I'm eight, fixin on nine" (this example is taken from a girl at VBS today) or "I'm fixin on eatin me some craw fish."

Warsh-- as in "Go throw your clothes in the warsh." or "Go get warshed up for supper."

MY favorite YouthWorks pastimes:

Licking gummy bears, sticking them to the ceiling fan, and then turning it on and seeing how far they fly. (Don't worry, I clean up after myself).

Playing "Hey Cow!" on our way to and back from Mt. Magazine and Fort Smith (For those who don't know this game, when passing a field of cows, you roll down your window and yell, "HEY COWWWWWW!!!!!" as loud as you can repeatedly in an effort to see how many cows you can get to look at you).

Throwing lake weeds on Kevin's back at Cove lake and seeing how many I can get on him throughout the evening without him noticing.

Smoothies at Sonic. Sonic is a beautiful thing.

Favorite YouthWorks moments:

Adult leaders who ask to pray for me.

Washing others feet and praying over them.

When youth come up to me and ask, "can I talk to you for a minute?" and share their pains struggles, hopes and dreams, and then having the opportunity to pray with them.

peaking into my "Happy Fun Note bag", and reading the encouraging notes.

Putting notes into others "Happy Fun Note" bags.

Asking Youth about their goals and dreams.

Playing Ultimate frisbee in the pouring rain. Wonderful.

Leading talks every evening. I love it! This could never grow old for me.

When a group buys me a Sonic smoothie. delicious.

Listening to the sniffles of the snotty noses and the sobs of teens who are broken before God as their feet are washed by their adult leaders and they begin to understand what it meant for their Creator to wash the feet of sinful men. I have never witnessed anything so beautiful.

Lord, Lord?

2008-07-04T18:33:00.007-05:00

This summer has been full of new and exciting experiences. So far I've, swam in a mountain lake once a week, hiked a mountain, swallowed two live earth worms, relearned how to do a flip off the diving board, got a Mohawk (another post for another time), seen a tarantula, learned how to line dance, and chopped wild bamboo from someone's yard. These are all fun experiences that make great stories, but the real rewards come in the relationships made. the special moments are in praying with youth after something has just clicked in them and they have seen God, those still, soft moments when God points out something in my own life that I need to work on, and in those moments when I share conversations with others in which God speaks to my heart. As I go into my sixth week of participants coming to our site here in Booneville Arkansas, I want to write about an adult leader from our very first week who blessed my life. Every week we have amazing people here. Every week I get to see God in others, but I am a simple man with a simple mind...it doesn't take me long to forget names even of the beautiful people I've met this summer. Sam is an exception. I have loved all of the people who have come through Booneville this summer, and I pray that God will work in each of their lives. With close to 60-70 participants each week, there are bound to be some who "don't get it". I can say this, because I know at times, I was one of them (and often, I still am). Those people that view their trip as a vacation rather then an experience preparing them to better live as Christians through seeing practical ways to live out our faith through loving service, and taking that home with them. Sam was different. Sam was an adult leader who jumped at the opportunity to share the hope that he has found in Christ. We were painting bathrooms in a park, Sam walked up to complete strangers and shared his faith with them. He challenged the youth to do the same. He lived the example. I don't believe these were nothces on a spiritual belt, but rather an obedient heart to God's prompting. Sam and I had a bond, we both love a preacher named Paul Washer. Paul's sermons have challenged both Sam and I to look at our faith in very new ways. Paul speaks on what it means to be a Christian, and how we can know we are saved. Many North American Christians base their faith in their salvation on a prayer they have prayed one time, rather then the fruit that is evident in their lives. I know that I too have fallen to this fault. Paul says that we cheapen our salvation to make it look like a flu shot...pray a prayer once, and we are set; like an eternal vaccine. But I don't think this meshes well with scripture. It doesn't matter if we know Christ, what matters is that he knows us. Matthew 7:21-23 says,

21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

The key is that we live a life that is submisive to the will of the Father. We are not saved by our good works, rather the way we live is evidence of the relationship we have with Christ. Paul uses this analogy. If he walked up to me and said that he just got hit by a cement truck, but he didn't have a scratch on his body, I would have to assume that he is either insane or lying. So then how is it that someone can say they have met God (who is much larger and a much harder hit then a cement truck), yet walk this life with no evidence of his presence in thier life? Perhaps they are mistaken. I believe a sad truth that we must abolish in our country is that their are many who believe they know Christ, and that Christ know's them, yet their hearts are far from him and they are lost.

Sam got it. He knows the purpose of his service, he knows who he serves, and he knows the hope he has...and he shares it with anyone who has ears to listen. This is evident because he lives it.

I pray that my heart will be in tune with Gods, that I will remember why I am here this summer, that I will surrender myself to the Father, that I will live a life of obedience and repentence. The condition of ones heart is what shows one to be a Christian, not simply a prayer said once upon a time.