here is a christmas family photo,...yeah, its from last year, but we were more attractive back then...
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
family
here is a christmas family photo,...yeah, its from last year, but we were more attractive back then...
to much egg nog, perhaps?...
Not even an adorable baby girl could redeem this photo...I laughed so hard when I saw it. I wonder if when God created me, he said, "I could make Ty incredably attractive...or I could make him look like this..."
Thats my cousin's little girl, Ryanen, she pooped on my hand, but we still became friends.
The Chronic (What?) cles of Narnia
Aslan is on the Move!
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=IggTu7kV7No&search=snl%20chronicles%20of%20narnia --funny stuff, funny stuff
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Christmas
I think now is just about the right time to write my Christmas blog. I know that it is a couple days after Christmas, but that's ok. Reflection is good. It was a very lovely Christmas. It is so important to have time with family. I do regret, however, not spending enough time sitting in the stable next to the watering trough, gazing at my Savior and Creator in awe. Its funny how so much of that other stuff takes captive the brain, even when your brain is on vacation. I did manage a few minutes alone to reflect on and to ponder that first Christmas so long ago. With all birth, there beauty, and there is pain. So often we reflect on the beauty of the birth of our Savior. This year, I strive to see the pain, the great sacrifice made. I strive to see Mary's pain; betrothed to Joseph, she becomes pregnant. I can only imagine the pain she must have felt looking into Joseph's eyes when he noticed her belly growing, knowing very well that he had not been with her. It must have been a knife to the soul to see the hurt in his eyes. I imagine Joseph's pain believing that the woman he would do anything for, the woman he loved more than himself, had just betrayed him. I imagine both their pain as society shuns them, thinking that the "model couple" has just exposed themselves for what they really are. I imagine God's pain as the time his son would leave his thrown in heaven to go to earth and die for men approaches. I imagine Christ, anticipating the moment, looking down as if from backstage waiting His cue. He knows very well, that He will be hurt, that every person He loves will betray Him and His Father simply by being human. He knows how sin will surround Him. His whole life will sting like salt in a cut, yet I see excitement in His eyes. I imagine Jesus, shivering in the cold, wet and naked, as His mother wraps Him and lays Him in the hard, stone trough.
This Christmas, well, this semester, and perhaps my whole life if I had only been paying attention, God has been teaching me about boldness. Christ demonstrates great boldness, great risk, in coming as a baby to a sinful world for our sake.
I recognize my timidness. It repulses me. I long to be bold as Christ is bold, but I seem to be sitting still. It's far to easy to cling to a life of timidity, a life that won't get you in trouble, but at the same time won't give you adventure. I picked up Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge again. I needed a bit of encouragement. Listen to how John describes God's risk,
"God needs to get a message out to the human race, without which, they will perish...forever. What's the plan? First, he starts with the most unlikely group ever: a couple of prostitutes, a few fishermen with no better than a second-grade education, a tax collector. Then, he passes the ball to us. Unbelievable...
God's relationship with us and with our world is just that: a relationship. As with any relationship, there's a certain amount of unpredictability, and the ever-present likelihood that you'll get hurt. The ultimate risk anyone ever takes is to love..."
This was the risk a tiny baby took for our sake the first Christmas morning. And war raged!
1A great and wondrous sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. 2She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. 3Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on his heads. 4His tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that he might devour her child the moment it was born. 5She gave birth to a son, a male child, who will rule all the nations with an iron scepter. And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. 6The woman fled into the desert to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days. --Revelation 12:1-6
The greatest gift of peace to mankind was the greatest act of war towards the enemy. In the middle of this war, lay a baby, the one who will rule with an Iron rod, our Bold Savior, Jesus Christ!
Satan would stop at nothing to destroy him. For once, I'd like to see a Christmas pageant with a seven headed dragon with ten horns. Why cast kids as cows, why cast 13 shepherds or 4 wisemen, and three camels, leaving out the villain of the story, the risk of the story?
13When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. "Get up," he said, "take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him."...16When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi.--Matthew 2:13,16
I'm not to sure how accurate this image is, but I always want to imagine Joseph clinging to Mary and Jesus as they gallop through the dessert towards Egypt under a night's sky. Invisible to them, and parting as they gallop onwards, is a war of angels, heavenly and fallen, battling, fighting for the life of the child.
Jesus, The Savior, entered this war, this earth, this pain, this betrayal, for us. He experienced Hell for us; all for a relationship that would let him down.
John Eldredge went on to quote C.S. Lewis,
"Love anything, and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal."
God gave us his heart that first Christmas morning. It was wrapped in swaddling clothes and lied in a manger. What a risk to take; what boldness. He knew we would kill his heart.
I want to be bold like that. I want to love without fear of a broken heart, willingly offering it into the slippery hands of fallible human beings. I want to take risks. Yet, I'm scared, so scared.
Teach me to be bold, O Lord. I want to boldly surrender, embracing the pain that scares me away. Let me hear you call me a Man. Let me hear you tell me I have what it takes to fight my part in this war.
...But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.
I will continue to Ponder you in my heart, pondering the Bold God I serve, the Bold God who chose to become a small, and helpless infant child for the sake of his love.
This Christmas, well, this semester, and perhaps my whole life if I had only been paying attention, God has been teaching me about boldness. Christ demonstrates great boldness, great risk, in coming as a baby to a sinful world for our sake.
I recognize my timidness. It repulses me. I long to be bold as Christ is bold, but I seem to be sitting still. It's far to easy to cling to a life of timidity, a life that won't get you in trouble, but at the same time won't give you adventure. I picked up Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge again. I needed a bit of encouragement. Listen to how John describes God's risk,
"God needs to get a message out to the human race, without which, they will perish...forever. What's the plan? First, he starts with the most unlikely group ever: a couple of prostitutes, a few fishermen with no better than a second-grade education, a tax collector. Then, he passes the ball to us. Unbelievable...
God's relationship with us and with our world is just that: a relationship. As with any relationship, there's a certain amount of unpredictability, and the ever-present likelihood that you'll get hurt. The ultimate risk anyone ever takes is to love..."
This was the risk a tiny baby took for our sake the first Christmas morning. And war raged!
1A great and wondrous sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. 2She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. 3Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on his heads. 4His tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that he might devour her child the moment it was born. 5She gave birth to a son, a male child, who will rule all the nations with an iron scepter. And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. 6The woman fled into the desert to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days. --Revelation 12:1-6
The greatest gift of peace to mankind was the greatest act of war towards the enemy. In the middle of this war, lay a baby, the one who will rule with an Iron rod, our Bold Savior, Jesus Christ!
Satan would stop at nothing to destroy him. For once, I'd like to see a Christmas pageant with a seven headed dragon with ten horns. Why cast kids as cows, why cast 13 shepherds or 4 wisemen, and three camels, leaving out the villain of the story, the risk of the story?
13When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. "Get up," he said, "take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him."...16When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi.--Matthew 2:13,16
I'm not to sure how accurate this image is, but I always want to imagine Joseph clinging to Mary and Jesus as they gallop through the dessert towards Egypt under a night's sky. Invisible to them, and parting as they gallop onwards, is a war of angels, heavenly and fallen, battling, fighting for the life of the child.
Jesus, The Savior, entered this war, this earth, this pain, this betrayal, for us. He experienced Hell for us; all for a relationship that would let him down.
John Eldredge went on to quote C.S. Lewis,
"Love anything, and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal."
God gave us his heart that first Christmas morning. It was wrapped in swaddling clothes and lied in a manger. What a risk to take; what boldness. He knew we would kill his heart.
I want to be bold like that. I want to love without fear of a broken heart, willingly offering it into the slippery hands of fallible human beings. I want to take risks. Yet, I'm scared, so scared.
Teach me to be bold, O Lord. I want to boldly surrender, embracing the pain that scares me away. Let me hear you call me a Man. Let me hear you tell me I have what it takes to fight my part in this war.
...But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.
I will continue to Ponder you in my heart, pondering the Bold God I serve, the Bold God who chose to become a small, and helpless infant child for the sake of his love.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Winter
If, for one second, I could see the Father's love for me, how would that change the way I love myself?
If I truly believed with all my heart that all of God's creation is beautiful, that God made me beautiful, how would that affect the way I live?
If I always remembered that God has a plan for my life that extends far beyond the dreams of my heart, where would that take me?
If I could see that when the pain of my past strips away the confidence of my now, that God walks by me boldly, how would that change who I am?
In the most difficult seasons of life when I seem to love myself the least, and detest myself the most, What if I could see that God's love for me hasn't changed?
In the moments of brokenness and abandonment, what if I saw that I am whole and in his presence? Could I possibly be broken, yet whole in Christ at the same time? Is there beauty found in the broken?
If my cold selfishness thawed away, and a Christ like selflessness blossomed, would others recognize me?
Could you make me new?
Thank you for sitting with me through the winter. Though I can't always hear your voice, your presence melts the ice. I don't like the cold. The winter chaps; dries me out. It hurts. The wind rips at my bones.
Let me not forget the beauty found in winter. Each snowflake that touches my cheek, has its own beauty. Frost clings to the trees, clothing them in white. The stars seem to shine brighter, the more bitter the cold. Winter has its place for a reason.
Yet, In your time the ice will melt. Green will come again. The water will flow; the brook will sing. How I long to hear its song, but for now, I'll sit in winter.
If I truly believed with all my heart that all of God's creation is beautiful, that God made me beautiful, how would that affect the way I live?
If I always remembered that God has a plan for my life that extends far beyond the dreams of my heart, where would that take me?
If I could see that when the pain of my past strips away the confidence of my now, that God walks by me boldly, how would that change who I am?
In the most difficult seasons of life when I seem to love myself the least, and detest myself the most, What if I could see that God's love for me hasn't changed?
In the moments of brokenness and abandonment, what if I saw that I am whole and in his presence? Could I possibly be broken, yet whole in Christ at the same time? Is there beauty found in the broken?
If my cold selfishness thawed away, and a Christ like selflessness blossomed, would others recognize me?
Could you make me new?
Thank you for sitting with me through the winter. Though I can't always hear your voice, your presence melts the ice. I don't like the cold. The winter chaps; dries me out. It hurts. The wind rips at my bones.
Let me not forget the beauty found in winter. Each snowflake that touches my cheek, has its own beauty. Frost clings to the trees, clothing them in white. The stars seem to shine brighter, the more bitter the cold. Winter has its place for a reason.
Yet, In your time the ice will melt. Green will come again. The water will flow; the brook will sing. How I long to hear its song, but for now, I'll sit in winter.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Don't think, just paint.
I was looking through an art catalog today, and getting excited at all the art materials when two thoughts came to mind. One, do other guys ever get excited looking at graphite pencils, and two, why in the world did I decide to become a student at a small, unknown school in dag cold Manitoba. My dad gave me the wise advice of going to a school in Minneapolis where I could pursue both art and Youth ministry, and though now he is quite confident I made the right decision in coming to Prov, sometimes I can't help but wonder what it would be like to be at another school. I really miss art. I wonder when I'll get to dig my hands into clay again, molding mud into something beautiful. Sometimes I fear the art will leave my fingers, that my talents will fade like an old drawing. When creating, I feel like I can understand God just a little bit more.
How long will God keep me at this school? What road will I walk down next? I long to create, to discover. Yet, if I pursued every opportunity I wanted to, I would be in post secondary education for about 10-15 more years. Opportunities are endless, showcasing Gods Hugeness. The question remains, which opportunity will God give me next, and, will I willingly take it?
18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 20At once they left their nets and followed him.--Matthew 4:18-20
Sometimes, I wonder, do we think to much as Christians? I think, that perhaps, we try to scrutinize our callings, analyze them, know the "why" when God hasn't given us the "why". We pray to hear God's voice when he's already spoken. We want shouting when God simply wants to whisper. Do we have to be 100% sure of where we are going? Dare I say it, do we even have to be 100% sure of the calling? Its hard to be 100% sure when God simply doesn't always make sense. When does prayer for clarity switch to trust in the fog? Where does faith come in? In a way, its a lot like art. If an artist thinks to much as they do their work, if they don't take risk, if they erase and redo, the piece can loose its spontaneity, its spirit. God wants our lives to be beautiful art, and the best comes when we step out in faith, allowing the Master Artist to shine His creativity.
not a day goes by where I don't wonder if I've made the biggest mistake in my life taking the job of a part time youth director. But even if it is the biggest mistake of my life (next to forgetting to put oil in my engine), could God make it into a beautiful mistake?
So, right now, I sit. Prov is where I belong. My family is here. It blows me away that only after a year and a half with these people (or less), they have become my greatest blessing. And the church is where I'm at. Though I'm not so quick to say it's where I belong, its where God is teaching me and using me, so, I'll trust that it's where He wants me.
Yet many opportunities still lie out there, which ones will God call me down? Simon Peter and Andrew seem a little crazy. They immediately left their nets, got out of the boat, and followed Christ. Will I so willingly, and eagerly jump out of my boat, cast away the nets that entangle me, and follow my Savior? Or will I think to much?
How long will God keep me at this school? What road will I walk down next? I long to create, to discover. Yet, if I pursued every opportunity I wanted to, I would be in post secondary education for about 10-15 more years. Opportunities are endless, showcasing Gods Hugeness. The question remains, which opportunity will God give me next, and, will I willingly take it?
18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 20At once they left their nets and followed him.--Matthew 4:18-20
Sometimes, I wonder, do we think to much as Christians? I think, that perhaps, we try to scrutinize our callings, analyze them, know the "why" when God hasn't given us the "why". We pray to hear God's voice when he's already spoken. We want shouting when God simply wants to whisper. Do we have to be 100% sure of where we are going? Dare I say it, do we even have to be 100% sure of the calling? Its hard to be 100% sure when God simply doesn't always make sense. When does prayer for clarity switch to trust in the fog? Where does faith come in? In a way, its a lot like art. If an artist thinks to much as they do their work, if they don't take risk, if they erase and redo, the piece can loose its spontaneity, its spirit. God wants our lives to be beautiful art, and the best comes when we step out in faith, allowing the Master Artist to shine His creativity.
not a day goes by where I don't wonder if I've made the biggest mistake in my life taking the job of a part time youth director. But even if it is the biggest mistake of my life (next to forgetting to put oil in my engine), could God make it into a beautiful mistake?
So, right now, I sit. Prov is where I belong. My family is here. It blows me away that only after a year and a half with these people (or less), they have become my greatest blessing. And the church is where I'm at. Though I'm not so quick to say it's where I belong, its where God is teaching me and using me, so, I'll trust that it's where He wants me.
Yet many opportunities still lie out there, which ones will God call me down? Simon Peter and Andrew seem a little crazy. They immediately left their nets, got out of the boat, and followed Christ. Will I so willingly, and eagerly jump out of my boat, cast away the nets that entangle me, and follow my Savior? Or will I think to much?
Saturday, December 17, 2005
A toast to mr. Anonymous with a tall glass of Egg nog
Ahh, to be home! it feels quite nice. I do come home almost every weekend, but now I get to spend time with my family. I've got a pretty stellar family. Its kinda rough when you see your family every weekend, but you don't really get to spend any time with them at all. I can't wait to take my sisters out on dates and catch up on thier lives.
It finally feels like Christmas. before heading home, Em and I stopped at my ex-youth pastor's home. His little girl is so beautiful. One of the chubbiest/cutest babies i've ever seen. Her teeth are beginning to pop out. Its strange when kids grow up even without me watching them, suprises me every time.
The General took on a new battle scar. apparently he didn't like driving over a snow bank a whole lot, but mud flaps aren't that important anyway. It was nice driving home knowing I could stay home. the trees were amazing. I felt like I was driving through a wintery Narnia. Snow is so beautiful.
Some fine young gentleman has been giving my sister, Lyss, one Christmas gift a day to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas. Its kind of exciting, I'm not going to lie. I was always a little scared of guys being interested in my sisters. I thought I'd actually have to start working out or somthing. I don't know what I was scared of though, amazing people attract other amazing people, and Lyss is definitly in the top five most amazing people I know list, so of course she'd attract a quality guy. I give this guy an 11 on a 10 point scale. the best part is he was number 1 on the very short list of guys I would allow to express interest in Lyss. God is good, what can I say. he's smooth to, holy crank! poetry, flowers, chocolates, and humor, and this is only the fifth day! You got to love a guy with such class and good taste in women. I sulute you Mr. Anonymous. Wow,I'm begining to feel like a teenage girl at a slumber party talking about boys, this is rediculous.
This christmas will be great. I've got a plethera of books to read. I'm sure I'll tell you about those later. Top of the list right now, is a bit of Ted Dekker, Blue like Jazz by Donald Miller, and Captivating by John Eldrege. And drawing, I can't wait! I got some new Christmas music, it'll be nice to sit down with a cup of tea, some "yule be sorry" Christmas music, and a pencil and just see what comes out.
Can't wait to see Hondo and Erdawg. And John Kelly. Lauren's belly will be showing quite a bit by now. maybe the baby will even kick. I'm going to talk to the baby so she can know "Uncle" tyler's voice ahead of time. yeah, the kid and I will be tight. Ah, christmas break is going to be hectabeautiful. I have got to go catch up on a couple Alias episodes. I could use some eggnog right now...
It finally feels like Christmas. before heading home, Em and I stopped at my ex-youth pastor's home. His little girl is so beautiful. One of the chubbiest/cutest babies i've ever seen. Her teeth are beginning to pop out. Its strange when kids grow up even without me watching them, suprises me every time.
The General took on a new battle scar. apparently he didn't like driving over a snow bank a whole lot, but mud flaps aren't that important anyway. It was nice driving home knowing I could stay home. the trees were amazing. I felt like I was driving through a wintery Narnia. Snow is so beautiful.
Some fine young gentleman has been giving my sister, Lyss, one Christmas gift a day to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas. Its kind of exciting, I'm not going to lie. I was always a little scared of guys being interested in my sisters. I thought I'd actually have to start working out or somthing. I don't know what I was scared of though, amazing people attract other amazing people, and Lyss is definitly in the top five most amazing people I know list, so of course she'd attract a quality guy. I give this guy an 11 on a 10 point scale. the best part is he was number 1 on the very short list of guys I would allow to express interest in Lyss. God is good, what can I say. he's smooth to, holy crank! poetry, flowers, chocolates, and humor, and this is only the fifth day! You got to love a guy with such class and good taste in women. I sulute you Mr. Anonymous. Wow,I'm begining to feel like a teenage girl at a slumber party talking about boys, this is rediculous.
This christmas will be great. I've got a plethera of books to read. I'm sure I'll tell you about those later. Top of the list right now, is a bit of Ted Dekker, Blue like Jazz by Donald Miller, and Captivating by John Eldrege. And drawing, I can't wait! I got some new Christmas music, it'll be nice to sit down with a cup of tea, some "yule be sorry" Christmas music, and a pencil and just see what comes out.
Can't wait to see Hondo and Erdawg. And John Kelly. Lauren's belly will be showing quite a bit by now. maybe the baby will even kick. I'm going to talk to the baby so she can know "Uncle" tyler's voice ahead of time. yeah, the kid and I will be tight. Ah, christmas break is going to be hectabeautiful. I have got to go catch up on a couple Alias episodes. I could use some eggnog right now...
Sunday, December 11, 2005
The prince in the pauper
I love those moments when words mean more than they have before. When simple truths become profound. When promises become real. Our God is a good God. Oh, how my finite mind trys to grasp His infiniteness. My hand can't even palm a basketball, how silly to try to grasp His hugeness. Yet He takes my hand! The fact that He is beyond comprehension makes me desire Him all the more. Restoration. Why would the great God of the universe, Creator, King, Ruler with an Iron rod, why would He want any part of me. How can the Greatest desire this? I am broken, flawed, fallen, scrapped, graffiti-covered, poisoned. I am mean, bitter, angry and sad. I am valued. Why? When He could just start over, why does He continually, restore me. He restored me then, he restores me now, and on and on He goes. I'm like the teddy who's button eye fell off. A little boy doesn't want mommy to so the eye back on for his sake, but that teddy may be able to see once again. God restores me. He Restores me, because He loves me. I can see again. My eyes were wet under the eyelids. The warm water pushed its way out. I tried to hide the tears, but they fell, my soul's offering sliding down my cheeks. I wiped them away, hiding their truth in my heart. Such a simple truth. Such a profound mystery. I am Joyful, I am excited, I am His, I am Restored! My Redeemer Lives!
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Who am I?
I was talking with a friend today about who we are and when and where it is that we are our “real” self. The other day I wondered about this. Are we most ourselves in those situations that we are comfortable and suited for? It’s at these times that I feel like I am truly myself. But what about those times when I’m not in my forte, when I’m not in my ideal situation? It seems that it is these times that are the most frequent. They are the difficult times when I must strive to be a man of God, when I must strive to be the same man I am in my ideal surrounding. Which me is the real me? When looking at Job, was he the prosperous man that he was before God allowed everything to be taken away, or was he the man that cursed the day he was born…or was he both. God counted Job as a man of righteousness, and he was blessed following all his torment. He never cursed God, and loved God despite the circumstances, though he hated them and thought God was being unfair. I’ve never, and probably never will face the excruciating agony that Job faced, but there will be times and situations throughout life that I am incredibly comfortable with, and others where I feel out of place, uncomfortable, or down right hurt in. I believe we have a choice. We can choose to be our “real” self, our best self in those ideal moments and places where we truly feel like ourselves, those places we feel we were designed for, or we can choos to be our "real" self in any situation, giving of ourselves to God no matter how hard it is, ideal or not. Growth takes place in the ideal, but the ideal is temporary. We can grow in those places of awkwardness, those places of, “It’s nice, but it’s sure not (insert special place here)”, and those places of pain as well (pain is a good teacher). It’s these places that we face far more often, giving us a much greater opportunity for growth. I don’t want to be a one dimensional Christian, only giving my best when I’m in my best. I want to take the gift of my ideal surroundings when I’m in them and offer myself up to God in those, and I want to give myself to God when I’m surrounded by the less then ideal as well. I want to be one person, not many. We are made up of many parts. I am made up of good and bad, kindness and cruelty. God is One; His character doesn’t conflict with itself as all human's character does. I recognize that I’ll never be able to be completely the same person that I am here (wherever here may be) as I am somewhere else or in some other situation (wherever that may be). I change like the seasons just as every person does. This truth must be recognized, but that shouldn’t stop me from striving to be my best, the person God designed me to be, at all times, and praising the God who is the best at all times.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
collapsed
I used to be an optimist. but every now and then things look so dark. I was the kind of guy that thought DC talk would get back together again. Sometimes life hurts. You are torn at the seems. mind exploding. past pains attacking. frustrations annoying. Searching in all the wrong places for comfort that cannot satisfy. Guilt punches you in the eye, while shame takes a kidney shot. You feel like everything is collapsing down on you all at once, leaving you lying in a pile of rubble, breathing in the dusty air, enveloped in the pounding heat of a pain thats more real than life. blackness hits.
Daddy, hold my hand. I need to know that you love me. I need to see you smile at me. Are you proud of me?
I don't care if the cup is half full or half empty, If it be your will, I'll drink it. give me the strength to drink it. I just need your help to tip it down. How I long to be Bold! But I feel so timid, so timid.
I feel you. Thank you for your warm hug. heating up the darkness.
Sometimes life seems so dark, but you'll flip the switch soon enough. I still think DC talk will get back together one day.
Daddy, hold my hand. I need to know that you love me. I need to see you smile at me. Are you proud of me?
I don't care if the cup is half full or half empty, If it be your will, I'll drink it. give me the strength to drink it. I just need your help to tip it down. How I long to be Bold! But I feel so timid, so timid.
I feel you. Thank you for your warm hug. heating up the darkness.
Sometimes life seems so dark, but you'll flip the switch soon enough. I still think DC talk will get back together one day.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Canvas
What do you want for me?
with this brush in my hand, I paint out the picture of my day.
Don't want to use others to erase my past hurts,
brushing away their shavings from my canvas.
such a predictable piece.
its selfish, drawing in the lines, scared to leave them.
Scared to paint what's really true.
where's the excitement?
the wonder?
Its been done before.
You want something new for me.
your brush is your breath.
you paint the picture I never could have seen.
colors I've never seen, joy I've never felt.
each stroke changes me
you paint heaven in my heart
dampening the brush with your tears, you hurt for me.
My life is your canvas.
I so desperately want to smudge it.
This is not mine, it is yours.
Create in me a clean heart O Lord my God!
with this brush in my hand, I paint out the picture of my day.
Don't want to use others to erase my past hurts,
brushing away their shavings from my canvas.
such a predictable piece.
its selfish, drawing in the lines, scared to leave them.
Scared to paint what's really true.
where's the excitement?
the wonder?
Its been done before.
You want something new for me.
your brush is your breath.
you paint the picture I never could have seen.
colors I've never seen, joy I've never felt.
each stroke changes me
you paint heaven in my heart
dampening the brush with your tears, you hurt for me.
My life is your canvas.
I so desperately want to smudge it.
This is not mine, it is yours.
Create in me a clean heart O Lord my God!
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Modern day Pharisee
Hey hurting world on the verge of death.
I'd look at you, but my own life is just a mess.
I cry for the scrape on my finger,
while you lie with your broken limbs.
I ask God to save me from my pain,
While I sit here in my sins.
There is no time to help you,
I got to save myself.
I contently dream of heaven,
and forget that you'll go to hell.
It'd be crazy to leave my comfort,
politically incorrect.
So I won't tell you about my savior,
I'll let you go to heck.
After all, I'm a christian,
this is about me and Christ.
Jesus already saved me, why should I have to pay a price?
I'll read my self-help books, read my bible, and I'll pray,
but I won't tell you about my savior, the one, the truth the Way.
Wouldn't want to offend you,
since you are comfortably lost.
No, I'll let you wonder, and then pay the greatest cost.
My mind is so cluttered
with girls, my job, and school,
so why, oh hurting world,
would I take time to think of you?
Content as a white washed tomb,
with beauty on the outside,
and dead and dark within,
Dear Jesus, please save me!
I don't want to live in this sin.
Give me a heart for the hurting,
A passion for the lost.
Let me surrender my whole self,
whatever be the cost.
Let my life be an open book,
Oh author of my soul.
I want to let others read Your story,
wherever you send, I'll go.
I'd look at you, but my own life is just a mess.
I cry for the scrape on my finger,
while you lie with your broken limbs.
I ask God to save me from my pain,
While I sit here in my sins.
There is no time to help you,
I got to save myself.
I contently dream of heaven,
and forget that you'll go to hell.
It'd be crazy to leave my comfort,
politically incorrect.
So I won't tell you about my savior,
I'll let you go to heck.
After all, I'm a christian,
this is about me and Christ.
Jesus already saved me, why should I have to pay a price?
I'll read my self-help books, read my bible, and I'll pray,
but I won't tell you about my savior, the one, the truth the Way.
Wouldn't want to offend you,
since you are comfortably lost.
No, I'll let you wonder, and then pay the greatest cost.
My mind is so cluttered
with girls, my job, and school,
so why, oh hurting world,
would I take time to think of you?
Content as a white washed tomb,
with beauty on the outside,
and dead and dark within,
Dear Jesus, please save me!
I don't want to live in this sin.
Give me a heart for the hurting,
A passion for the lost.
Let me surrender my whole self,
whatever be the cost.
Let my life be an open book,
Oh author of my soul.
I want to let others read Your story,
wherever you send, I'll go.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
The General was thirsty
You know how people kind of need water to live? Oil is kinda like water for cars. I discovered this last week. My car was very thirsty. I guess, I don't really think about those kind of things because I don't drink a whole lot of water. Anyway, I started to drive home for the weekend and my car was sounding rather sickly. In fact, the night before, I had gone to Winnipeg with a friend and we brought a cell phone because it sounded like there was a small animal carcass stuck in my engine or something. If cars could have strept throat, my car definitely needed his tonsils out from the sound of it. So, I was driving home and my speedometer wasn't working. I don't really care when that happens though, it usually doesn't work. Its kinda fun that way because then I have to guess how fast I'm going and sometimes it will start working all of a sudden so that it will jump from zero to 70 mph just like that. It makes me feel like rambo or something, all the power. 0-70 in one sec is pretty freakin awesome. Frigging awesome if I may say, but this night my needle jumped up to 60, then started falling again and bouncing all over the place so I didn't know what the deal was. Craziness. I put The General (that's the name of my car) into cruise, but cruise didn't obey me. I didn't have to push down the gas pedal anymore, but I definitely wasn't going at a constant speed. The gas pedal was going up and down below my foot without me pushing it. This was around the time that I asked myself why a demon would waste its time possessing my car. I thought that maybe I should head back to school and grab a cell phone so that I wouldn't get stranded on my way home, but when I pulled over, The General croaked on me. I turned the ignition, but the only thing that happened when I turned it was that all the lights went off. Yeah, it pretty much sucked. I got out of the car and told The General to open wide. I don't know a whole lot about cars, so popping the hood didn't really help a lot. Plus it was already dark out, so I kinda just said, "yeah, looks pretty dark down there....pretty sure I have no idea what's wrong, but I can guess it probably looks pretty bad." I climbed back in my car, and was about to pray when a cool stranger, a good Samaritan, or as I like to call them, a good Jihad extremist al Qaida terrorist (that's what a Samaritan would have looked like to a Jew when Jesus told the story, it makes sense, just ask my Prof)came along and gave me a ride all the way back to Prov. Long story short, check your oil often. The general is dead, he needs a heart transplant. Much good came out of this as well though. The other day I found a drawing of me and my smoking car sitting in my mail box with a loonie taped to it. I laughed so hard, it made my day. I'm pretty sure that's the coolest thing I've ever had in my mailbox, besides the dead frog, but that's still way cooler then the dead frog. I wish I knew who gave it to me, because whoever it is, is truly a very special person. How kind, how considerate. The best note I've ever received, and it had no words. Also, what a story. One of my friends told me that I could probably at least get a good sermon illustration or two out of this. I think I got a comedy sketch and a sermon illustration. I told you at the beginning of my ramblings how as humans we all need water to live, and how to a car, Oil is that water. When the mechanic called me, he told me that my engine was deceased. It's dead. The only thing its good for now is a boat anchor, or a really hard pillow. It fused together. There is no hope, no life in it. We become the same way without water. There is no life in us without water. Jesus Christ is our living water. Without him we do not have the life that we were created to live. If the Living Water doesn't saturate our lives, if we don't check up on our spiritual health on a regular basis we'll end up being about as healthy as The General. It appears The General has fought his last battle. That doesn't have to be us. Continue to fight the good fight that our Lord has called us to.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Love blind?
Is love blind? I don't know if i believe it is. Infatuation is blind, I am quite sure of that. Thats when everything that special someone does is beautiful and everything that person does can be justified in your mind. If I was fully infatuated with another person i could justify her slugging Santa Clause in the face for kicks and giggles and think "how cute." Well, maybe not, but it would take alot to make my eyes see the error of her ways. Infatuation is blind, but is love? I think we confuse infatuation with love a lot of the time. if we trully love someone, we would probably see the error of that persons ways, confront them about that error, and choose to love them despite it, whether they decide to turn from it or not. God has chosen to be "blind" of our sins if we have accepted Christ into our lives. I realize that I don't know if I fully understand what that means, but I know when God looks at me, he doesn't see a sinner, he sees his child, thanks to a Savior who loved me despite the "error of my ways".
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Successful obedience
What do we strive for in life? I asked myself that question the other day, as I examined myself. I came to the conclusion that what I've been striving for, what most people probably strive for, is success. What does success mean to a Christian? When I look at myself as a youth leader, I believe I have been striving for success in this area, but success is so hard to define. What is a successful youth ministry. Is it one that brings youth to Christ, one that sends them out into the world with a new mindset and focus on Christ so that they can make a difference? What role do I play in all of this? Can I change the mind of a youth? Can I make them accept Christ. Some times as youth leaders we try to kick the Holy Spirit out of the equation, and try to find our success in His work. We have no power over the hearts or minds of youth, only God can penetrate those areas. I don't want to strive for "success" any longer. I can not succeed in an area I have no power or control over. Striving for this success will lead me to a brick wall. Instead, we all must strive for obedience. When I die, let people not say that there was a successful man, no, I want them to say, "there was a man of obedience."
Saturday, September 10, 2005
my hearts longing cry
I've heard it said that everyone changes,
then why do i stay the same,
I want you to mold me,
but i feel like a dried up clump of playdough
my brain is scattered and scared
i cling to familiarity, and long to be new
change me from this oxiMorron
mold me beautiful, make me a portraite of your face for the world to see,
dump me from this box, pull off the plastic
its time to breathe
then why do i stay the same,
I want you to mold me,
but i feel like a dried up clump of playdough
my brain is scattered and scared
i cling to familiarity, and long to be new
change me from this oxiMorron
mold me beautiful, make me a portraite of your face for the world to see,
dump me from this box, pull off the plastic
its time to breathe
Friday, September 02, 2005
Summertime
Wow, what a summer I've had. I've been stretched, challenged. I've learned. I've grown, I've failed, I've conquered. I've laughed, I've cried. I've charged, I've retreated. I've resisted, and submitted. It will be a summer I won't forget. Though I didn’t walk with God every day, he walked with me every moment. Yes, this Summer was amazing, so I thought I’d share the most memorable moments.
The grass eating contest. We couldn't think of anymore games to do at camp so we had two minutes to see who could fill their mouths with the most grass, yanking it from the ground with our teeth. I gaged and came in second, Troy won.
Getting a call from on of my best friend, Shawn, who is serving in Iraq. I miss my brother, I pray he comes home safe.
John Snorting cottage cheese at camp after i told him jello is snortable.
John sneezing out cottage cheese from the other nostril that he snorted from.
Peeing in a Fabreeze bottle with Jeremy and Eric and "marking our territory".
Spilling our Fabreeze bottle on my hand.
Inventing the Pocket monsters game with my little buddy Issac, Troy and Marcy's little boy. I'd pull my pants pockets inside-out and whip them at him growling and yelling, iiiittts tthhhheeee, Pocket Monster!!!!! then he'd try to grab them and he'd bite them, and ocasionally slug my in the danger zone.
Issac walking up to me and putting his hands in my back pockets or chewing on my shirt. Four year olds like to do that i guess.
Rolling in the Dirt with Issac to see how dirty we could get, and him putting sand down my shirt and calling it mosquito ticks.
John and I hiding in the full dunk tank during councelor hunt with our clothes on, and then hiding in the dusy fire pit after we were all wet.
teaching the "game for life" to my youth group.
All the girls swooning of Andrew all summer at camp.
James driving over an hour to camp at 3 in the morning just to prank us with the recording of a bob cat outside our cabin doors and scaring the girls into thinking that they were attacked by demons...."the latest theory...."
camp girls msning me weeks after camp insisting that we were attacked by a bear or somthing.
John telling our campers that poison ivy travels up a urine stream.
my campers stealing my keys, ductaping me, stealing my clothes, and running my dirty underwear up the flag poll.
John telling me that it was a good idea for me to have "strategicly placed my dirty boxers out for the campers to run up the flag poll as he showed me the poison ivy he recieved from his "clean" boxers that the campers got hold of.
Devos led alongside my bro John, and all the other counceling guys.
Late night conversations at Sr. High camp.
Lunches with Pastor Scott on Mondays
Running cable through the ceiling to my church office (the church library) with Josh and Siah and then finding out it didn't work, and going to dairy queen to heal our misery.
Coming back and fixing it realitivly easily, and going back to dairy queen to celebrate.
Going thrift shopping with the youth group and finding the coolest shirt ever for about a quarter...really it is, very sweet.
Playing hacky sack with the boys at church.
Discovering the largest dragon fly I had ever seen and watching him eat the swarm of mosquitos we were standing in. we played games with him for awhile and I named him Trogdor.
Watching Dana(dude in my youth group)lead a group of young ones in a bible study, cool stuff, great guy
James lighting his fart, telling dumb james stories and trying to bring his large poop back to the cabin one night so that he could show it to all of us.
Troy sneeking up behind James in the bathroom stall and scaring him so bad that he splashes toilet water all over in the process.
Josh (youth grouper) playing his acordian in the morning to wake us up at camp. it was beautiful.
One of my campers telling me that he has poison Ivy in the worst imaginable spot.
Cleaning the camp bathrooms with my servant hearted sister and mother before the camping season.
Watching the most beautiful meteor shower as John and I layed out in the soft grass of the north field and shared our hearts, brother to brother.
finding out that my Ex-girlfriend was getting married.
Watching Luke and Lindsey stare so intently into each others eyes before saying the big "I do".
Taking dinner mints and makeing a happy face on the cake at our table for the reception after Luke and Lindsey's wedding
Being part of the doggy pile of all the guy staff at camp, Troy, Eric, Adam, Me, and John, and yelling "owe, my belt buckle" because i was in panic and wanted out (belt buckle was an excuse, i admit)
Playing the Trust Fall game at camp
Supper manning a jump over the "electric fence" during the electric fence game into all of my wonderfull friends arms.
Getting a free car from Danna and his family because they knew i was in need, what an answer to prayer. It was Dannas for a day before he gave it up.
Makeing a youth group movie with our own special effects. The matrix, we entered the matrix.
Making Fire taffy at bluewater by starting laffy taffy on fire and eating it as it burns, then burning my finger.
Sitting in the beautiful woods at bluewater and reading Gods gift to me.
Finding a screw in my mashed potatos at a church meal....i won't say what church or what meal.
One of my campers saying, "no your not, your girlfriend is getting married tomorrow!" when I jokingly said I was married as my young campers asked me how old I was and didn't believe I was twenty.
Getting my hair cut on a boat dock after youth group one night and James almost shooting my sister with a potato cannon. I flipped out!
Watching Barlow girl, the Afters and By the Tree at the fair,...one of the barlow girls smiled at me, i'm pretty sure of it.
Playing indian poker with tom during our break from concert set up.
Telling stories to the little ones at church.
Little Evan sitting next to me every sunday at church and all the hugs he gives me every week.
Telling one of my campers to yell out "Andrew, your mom brought your rash ointment." as Andrew hit on the life gaurd at the beach. that camper made me proud.
Getting poison ivy on my feet after having the capital idea of portaging the canoe through the woods instead of just paddleing it to the beach.
Playing some tennis with Josh (youth group dude, pastors son) and Siah (nother youth group dude) and wacking worms with our tennis rackets, and paintballs
Starting "Primal Displays of Affection" with john in which we'd go around and punch, bite and growl at people as we said, Primal display of affection!
Taking a poll of how many of us think Andrew is severly attractive and then reporting it to the lady's Andrew is hitting on down at the beach. 9 out of ten is not bad at all, Andrew. I love you bro.
Playing junk wars with john and freaking out as teddy flew closer and closer.
Starting all sorts of new Pookie games...capture the pookie, ultimate pookie, duck duck pookie...
Troy ball
Nukem, tyler style, even though I was the one person that didn't like tyler style
One of the soccer camp kids writing "I love men" on my soccer shirt, and then Christina adding "wo" with and arrow for me. Very sweet of her.
Starting a job in a church and being so scared i could hardly sleep at night.
Hearing Chad (youth group dudester) sing at his baceloreate, wow, what a voice!
Watching Roxanne( youth group girl) get baptized along with so many special people from our church. way to go Roxanne, you done me proud.
Ahnica and Chelsea (youth group) so incredably excited to council at bible camp for the first time, and expressing that to me, very cool.
Siah jumping off the shed roof and falling in the fire pit. ouch.
Watching the soccer team much of my youth group is in dominate with a shut out at thier first game. very beautiful. i wanted to dance like a monkey, but it was cold outside.
Young friend of mine hitting me up for advice on women....poor guy, if he only knew who he was talking to.
Scoring a goal at soccer camp, yes, i did, it was fun.
Entering my art at the fair and getting some nice cash (six dollars!!!!!!!!) and some winning ribons.
Eating sandy's food. I miss sandy's food, i miss sandy.
Watching Jack, Troy and Marcy's other son (two years old) pose like a model for my camera.
Praying with one of my campers after he accepted Christ for the first time.
Every time Jack or Issac would come to me wanting to sit in my lap.
Watching several campers raise their hands as Pastor Scott asked them if they would like to ask Jesus into thier hearts.
Chad duct taping a cinder block to my feet and then carrying me into lake of the Woods ovr his shoulder to the "huh?..." of several confused onlookers.
Late night Msn convos with my college friends.
Late night convos with my youth group friends.
Youth sharing their hurts and struggles with me.
Youth Sharing their excitement and Joys with me.
Reading two Ted Dekker novels and forgetting everything else important. Addicting!
Driving to Bluewater sucessfully by myself, after getting lost once or twice...or a lot more times than once or twice.
Tubing.
Conversations with John.
watching a dragonfly fly backwards.
Councelor meeting times.
Having dunking contests with little paul from camp and my bro Nick at Bluewater.
Sleeping on top of my car in a busy parking lot while waiting for my mom and sisters. they shop slow.
Playing halo with the youth group. I'm going to change my screen name to Buck, because they kill me so much.
Youth group guys throwing fire crackers at me and laughing histarically.
Reading proverbs
Renaming lake bronson, Hell's loogie.
Bathing from a half drank water bottle when the water was turned off before the wedding.
Watching troy this summer and seeing what it trully means to be a man after Gods own heart, and wanting that.
spitting on james from the tower.
Persecuted church at lake bronson.
Watching this beautiful finch land on a grass weed and following it. it was as small as a humming bird, and so beautiful.
Putting duct tape racing stripes on my car, and reputting duct tap racing stripes on my car. red duct tape fades fast.
Reading Matt's email to Clint on what he thought should be put on the SMAC web Page. Hot or Not profiles on the Something More About Christ Web page could have been quite cool.
Doing the trust walk with my campers, and almost falling off a picnic table.
entering a deep conversation with John in the shower room as we are getting dressed, ending up both in tears, hugging each other and praying. I'm in a towel and John is only wearing pants, and then one of our campers walks in, says, "Hey guys...(startled silence)........whens devotions?...." I didn't think of what that could possibly have looked like until later.
Dairy Queen Runs with the youth group.
Watching MST3K Manos, Hands of Fate with Eric. worst movie ever...
Going to Grand Forks with Eric, Danna, and Aaron to See the New Star Wars and going to the little boys section of Target to buy star wars tees to wair to the movie.
Visiting Chris and talking youth director to youth director with my youth director. we had really good coffee that morning and really good burgers that noon.
Wow, what a summer it has been. thank you God, for your continuing blessings. I will always praise you
The grass eating contest. We couldn't think of anymore games to do at camp so we had two minutes to see who could fill their mouths with the most grass, yanking it from the ground with our teeth. I gaged and came in second, Troy won.
Getting a call from on of my best friend, Shawn, who is serving in Iraq. I miss my brother, I pray he comes home safe.
John Snorting cottage cheese at camp after i told him jello is snortable.
John sneezing out cottage cheese from the other nostril that he snorted from.
Peeing in a Fabreeze bottle with Jeremy and Eric and "marking our territory".
Spilling our Fabreeze bottle on my hand.
Inventing the Pocket monsters game with my little buddy Issac, Troy and Marcy's little boy. I'd pull my pants pockets inside-out and whip them at him growling and yelling, iiiittts tthhhheeee, Pocket Monster!!!!! then he'd try to grab them and he'd bite them, and ocasionally slug my in the danger zone.
Issac walking up to me and putting his hands in my back pockets or chewing on my shirt. Four year olds like to do that i guess.
Rolling in the Dirt with Issac to see how dirty we could get, and him putting sand down my shirt and calling it mosquito ticks.
John and I hiding in the full dunk tank during councelor hunt with our clothes on, and then hiding in the dusy fire pit after we were all wet.
teaching the "game for life" to my youth group.
All the girls swooning of Andrew all summer at camp.
James driving over an hour to camp at 3 in the morning just to prank us with the recording of a bob cat outside our cabin doors and scaring the girls into thinking that they were attacked by demons...."the latest theory...."
camp girls msning me weeks after camp insisting that we were attacked by a bear or somthing.
John telling our campers that poison ivy travels up a urine stream.
my campers stealing my keys, ductaping me, stealing my clothes, and running my dirty underwear up the flag poll.
John telling me that it was a good idea for me to have "strategicly placed my dirty boxers out for the campers to run up the flag poll as he showed me the poison ivy he recieved from his "clean" boxers that the campers got hold of.
Devos led alongside my bro John, and all the other counceling guys.
Late night conversations at Sr. High camp.
Lunches with Pastor Scott on Mondays
Running cable through the ceiling to my church office (the church library) with Josh and Siah and then finding out it didn't work, and going to dairy queen to heal our misery.
Coming back and fixing it realitivly easily, and going back to dairy queen to celebrate.
Going thrift shopping with the youth group and finding the coolest shirt ever for about a quarter...really it is, very sweet.
Playing hacky sack with the boys at church.
Discovering the largest dragon fly I had ever seen and watching him eat the swarm of mosquitos we were standing in. we played games with him for awhile and I named him Trogdor.
Watching Dana(dude in my youth group)lead a group of young ones in a bible study, cool stuff, great guy
James lighting his fart, telling dumb james stories and trying to bring his large poop back to the cabin one night so that he could show it to all of us.
Troy sneeking up behind James in the bathroom stall and scaring him so bad that he splashes toilet water all over in the process.
Josh (youth grouper) playing his acordian in the morning to wake us up at camp. it was beautiful.
One of my campers telling me that he has poison Ivy in the worst imaginable spot.
Cleaning the camp bathrooms with my servant hearted sister and mother before the camping season.
Watching the most beautiful meteor shower as John and I layed out in the soft grass of the north field and shared our hearts, brother to brother.
finding out that my Ex-girlfriend was getting married.
Watching Luke and Lindsey stare so intently into each others eyes before saying the big "I do".
Taking dinner mints and makeing a happy face on the cake at our table for the reception after Luke and Lindsey's wedding
Being part of the doggy pile of all the guy staff at camp, Troy, Eric, Adam, Me, and John, and yelling "owe, my belt buckle" because i was in panic and wanted out (belt buckle was an excuse, i admit)
Playing the Trust Fall game at camp
Supper manning a jump over the "electric fence" during the electric fence game into all of my wonderfull friends arms.
Getting a free car from Danna and his family because they knew i was in need, what an answer to prayer. It was Dannas for a day before he gave it up.
Makeing a youth group movie with our own special effects. The matrix, we entered the matrix.
Making Fire taffy at bluewater by starting laffy taffy on fire and eating it as it burns, then burning my finger.
Sitting in the beautiful woods at bluewater and reading Gods gift to me.
Finding a screw in my mashed potatos at a church meal....i won't say what church or what meal.
One of my campers saying, "no your not, your girlfriend is getting married tomorrow!" when I jokingly said I was married as my young campers asked me how old I was and didn't believe I was twenty.
Getting my hair cut on a boat dock after youth group one night and James almost shooting my sister with a potato cannon. I flipped out!
Watching Barlow girl, the Afters and By the Tree at the fair,...one of the barlow girls smiled at me, i'm pretty sure of it.
Playing indian poker with tom during our break from concert set up.
Telling stories to the little ones at church.
Little Evan sitting next to me every sunday at church and all the hugs he gives me every week.
Telling one of my campers to yell out "Andrew, your mom brought your rash ointment." as Andrew hit on the life gaurd at the beach. that camper made me proud.
Getting poison ivy on my feet after having the capital idea of portaging the canoe through the woods instead of just paddleing it to the beach.
Playing some tennis with Josh (youth group dude, pastors son) and Siah (nother youth group dude) and wacking worms with our tennis rackets, and paintballs
Starting "Primal Displays of Affection" with john in which we'd go around and punch, bite and growl at people as we said, Primal display of affection!
Taking a poll of how many of us think Andrew is severly attractive and then reporting it to the lady's Andrew is hitting on down at the beach. 9 out of ten is not bad at all, Andrew. I love you bro.
Playing junk wars with john and freaking out as teddy flew closer and closer.
Starting all sorts of new Pookie games...capture the pookie, ultimate pookie, duck duck pookie...
Troy ball
Nukem, tyler style, even though I was the one person that didn't like tyler style
One of the soccer camp kids writing "I love men" on my soccer shirt, and then Christina adding "wo" with and arrow for me. Very sweet of her.
Starting a job in a church and being so scared i could hardly sleep at night.
Hearing Chad (youth group dudester) sing at his baceloreate, wow, what a voice!
Watching Roxanne( youth group girl) get baptized along with so many special people from our church. way to go Roxanne, you done me proud.
Ahnica and Chelsea (youth group) so incredably excited to council at bible camp for the first time, and expressing that to me, very cool.
Siah jumping off the shed roof and falling in the fire pit. ouch.
Watching the soccer team much of my youth group is in dominate with a shut out at thier first game. very beautiful. i wanted to dance like a monkey, but it was cold outside.
Young friend of mine hitting me up for advice on women....poor guy, if he only knew who he was talking to.
Scoring a goal at soccer camp, yes, i did, it was fun.
Entering my art at the fair and getting some nice cash (six dollars!!!!!!!!) and some winning ribons.
Eating sandy's food. I miss sandy's food, i miss sandy.
Watching Jack, Troy and Marcy's other son (two years old) pose like a model for my camera.
Praying with one of my campers after he accepted Christ for the first time.
Every time Jack or Issac would come to me wanting to sit in my lap.
Watching several campers raise their hands as Pastor Scott asked them if they would like to ask Jesus into thier hearts.
Chad duct taping a cinder block to my feet and then carrying me into lake of the Woods ovr his shoulder to the "huh?..." of several confused onlookers.
Late night Msn convos with my college friends.
Late night convos with my youth group friends.
Youth sharing their hurts and struggles with me.
Youth Sharing their excitement and Joys with me.
Reading two Ted Dekker novels and forgetting everything else important. Addicting!
Driving to Bluewater sucessfully by myself, after getting lost once or twice...or a lot more times than once or twice.
Tubing.
Conversations with John.
watching a dragonfly fly backwards.
Councelor meeting times.
Having dunking contests with little paul from camp and my bro Nick at Bluewater.
Sleeping on top of my car in a busy parking lot while waiting for my mom and sisters. they shop slow.
Playing halo with the youth group. I'm going to change my screen name to Buck, because they kill me so much.
Youth group guys throwing fire crackers at me and laughing histarically.
Reading proverbs
Renaming lake bronson, Hell's loogie.
Bathing from a half drank water bottle when the water was turned off before the wedding.
Watching troy this summer and seeing what it trully means to be a man after Gods own heart, and wanting that.
spitting on james from the tower.
Persecuted church at lake bronson.
Watching this beautiful finch land on a grass weed and following it. it was as small as a humming bird, and so beautiful.
Putting duct tape racing stripes on my car, and reputting duct tap racing stripes on my car. red duct tape fades fast.
Reading Matt's email to Clint on what he thought should be put on the SMAC web Page. Hot or Not profiles on the Something More About Christ Web page could have been quite cool.
Doing the trust walk with my campers, and almost falling off a picnic table.
entering a deep conversation with John in the shower room as we are getting dressed, ending up both in tears, hugging each other and praying. I'm in a towel and John is only wearing pants, and then one of our campers walks in, says, "Hey guys...(startled silence)........whens devotions?...." I didn't think of what that could possibly have looked like until later.
Dairy Queen Runs with the youth group.
Watching MST3K Manos, Hands of Fate with Eric. worst movie ever...
Going to Grand Forks with Eric, Danna, and Aaron to See the New Star Wars and going to the little boys section of Target to buy star wars tees to wair to the movie.
Visiting Chris and talking youth director to youth director with my youth director. we had really good coffee that morning and really good burgers that noon.
Wow, what a summer it has been. thank you God, for your continuing blessings. I will always praise you
Sunday, August 28, 2005
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