missing the big picture

Dom and I had a conversation about contentment the other night that got me thinking. I don't find myself to be a very content person, and this bothers me alot. I told Dom how I can see God, and this is true. I see God in lots of things. he drops me little reminders when i'm out for a walk, or when i'm reading or talking with a friend, or driving in my car. yet, still I'm not content. I hear God too. I hear the things he tells me to do and to not do, and though I hear his voice speaking to me, it is so hard to obey. then Dom, in his wisdom said, "Ty, maybe you don't see God." huh? of course I do. look at creation, look at the beauty all around us. Can i not see God in this? God is so big. there is nothing profound in this statement, just a simple truth that can never be grasped. Sure i see God, but yet, I still don't see him. I don't see him in his "bigness". If i could see the great plans he has for me, see him in all his glory, then there would be no way I'd be discontent. there would be no reason to struggle for obediance, and foolishly alow my feet to walk my own path rather then hike the adventure that God has layed out for me. how can one know God's will, yet still avoid it? It defies all logic, yet poses as the only logical thing to do. obeyig a invisible God doesn't seem to make much sense. seeing an invisible God doesn't make much sense. and yet, its the only thing in life that does make sense. and so, the struggle continues. Whom will i love first?