"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." 1 Peter 3:15

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

I'm a fool not to give in

Submission, its one of those words that really isn't valued much in our culture. We tend to think of those who submit as weak. Its so ironic when you think of it. Why would we view those who submit as weak when submission is one of the hardest aspects of the human life. God is asking me to submit part of my life up to him right now that i really don't want to give to him at all. It is crazy that i cling to it so tightly. I'm like Linus with his blankey, i just don't want to give it up. I seek comfort in this obsession, when all the while I know it won't give me the true comfort that i am striving for because God doesn't want me to have it. All I get from this striving is a headache and frustration. Only God can give me that comfort, and i can only find it in him. What absolute foolishness. Though I know no good can come from it, I still pursue it. I am like Jonah trying to ignore God. If only we could see the beauty of God. If we could see even the tiniest percentage of God's beauty, to look him in the eye for one second, I am convinced we would die. If we didn't die, we would never want to look any other place ever again. We would never have trouble submitting to God, we wouldn't be able to help but give him our whole selves. Oh to lose my life for the sake of Christ, there is nothing i would rather do.

"The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life"-John 12:25