"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." 1 Peter 3:15

Thursday, February 16, 2006

soul question

what do I do,when I don't know what to do?
when I don't know which voice is mine, and which one is you?
when all that i treasured is over, and through?
I feel so broken and my mind is confused.
my will is tugging, but you're pulling too.
how much am I willing to hand over to you?
my tongue has no words, my mind has no thoughts
all that i know is you're all that I got...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's day

"You have the right to remain single,
Any saying of "I Do" can and will be held against you in the state of Holy Matrimony."

I love valentines day. I also love prayer days. That means that today is a hectabeautiful day. There is something so special about Valentines day. I can't put my finger on it quite, but I think its just the fact that people openly express how much others mean to them. I used to love when my dad would give my mom flowers and smooch her on Valentines, and I still do. I would say "yuck", but my heart would say, beautiful. I wish all youth would have the opportunity to see thier parents in love.

On Sunday, a little guy in my church gave me a bag of candy hearts, and as i poped one in my mouth i was plesantly suprised to discover that it was tangy and fruity rather then chalky and not fruity. that was a happy experience. my mom also gave me a huge box of chocolates and a card. moms are cool. I heart my mom. Men don't need romance when they have a mom (But romance is good to, of course). If anyone wants chocolate, come to my dorm room and say, "give me chocolate, dang it!" then I will do just that, except for the dang it part, I don't really know how.

I discovered today that this year's candy hearts have dirty comments on them, that do not express love in any way, shape or form. It kind of makes me sad. I am boycotting. no candy hearts for me this year.

We had prayer day at school. What a beautiful compliment to what Valentines day should be. It was nice to be with such a loving community, to be supported and encouraged, to share our struggles and our hopes. to love one another, and to offer our hearts up to the Lover of souls. I have been so dry lately, not feeling Him, not hearing him, and not knowing where to go, or even what to do. But today showed me his love through the beautiful people around me, and because of them, I saw his beautiful face. He wasn't just a stranger on the road to Emmaus, but he revealed himself to me, he broke bread with me, and showed me his love. Sometimes when things are unclear, when you don't know where life is going, when you don't feel God's love, and you struggle to love him yourself, sometimes the only thing we can find comfort in is that He always loves. So simple, yet so hard to accept.

I got a few fun valentines today. One was a lovely drawing of a lake scene with the sun shining and some boats sailing and it said, "you are like a summers day..." Frickin' Hot! then it said just kidding...so, even though i'm really not "frickin' hot", I still have funniest valentine i've ever seen, and atleast I'm not "somewhat humid", cause that could be strange. I also got another hand made one that was really cool, it had Isaiah 49: 15-16 which talks about Gods love for us, and how he has engraved us on the palms of his hands. the valentine had a pair of hands with my name written on them. What a friendly encouragement and reminder of His love. Yes, I am bragging about my valentines, and I am completely comfortable doing that.

Hey for all you love birds out there, here is a little valentine's tune for ya. Its called "If you're not the One" by Daniel Bedingfield. Its not letting me type the link so, you'll have to google it I guess. I tell you, that is one mushy, pretty song. Daniel Bedingfield is my guilty pleasure. I guess I'm a sappy romantic at heart. I have to redeem myself afterwards by listening to some Zao, burping in pubblic, and lifting heavy objects.

Hope you all had a splendid day. If cupid shot you with his arrow, yank it out and sell it on Ebay, you could make a bundle.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Mend our broken wings

The Church is Broken. Not only is it broken, it is shattered. I see so many hurting people. So much pain. I am discouraged. I had so much naivete going into my position at the church. I knew that there would be hurting people, but for some reason, I didn't want to accept the idea, the fact, that all people are hurting. I couldn't see the deep wells of pain that have found their homes in so many hearts of the people around me. It makes me feel so small and insignificant. I have nothing of my own to offer. I am not a doctor. Being a "nice guy" doesn't fix people. I can't heal others, I can't even heal my own brokenness and pain. I am learning the hugeness of love. love heals. The greatest thing I could ever do is to reflect Christ's perfect love. The love of Christ is so deep; a love that washes the feet of his betrayer, that tells the one who denied him to go and feed His sheep; what a beautiful love. It is a freeing, graceful and satisfying love. A love that empowers. It is the only bandage for the pain. Love is the foundation, the root, the essence, the all of Christianity. If I am not reflecting Christ's love then I am not truly loving, and with out love there is nothing. It is love that conquers all fear. It is love that gives life. We have the choice to accept it and to share it. My heart has been convicted. It has been empty for so long. I pray God will fill it with his love. Where is all this love? Are there no satellites to reflect the Son? It is time to embrace those that hurt, and show them the one who heals.