"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." 1 Peter 3:15

Sunday, December 10, 2006

I hate Technology, but love Janna

Here is a "photo" of Janna and I. For those of you who may not know, Janna is my severely attractive girlfriend. I feel very blessed that God saw it fit to bring such an amazing woman of God into my life. I am excited to walk with her, learn with her, and grow with her. She encourages and inspires me (and makes me a better scrabble player). My mom says that Janna must be an amazing girl, and that she must love me if "I could get a girlfriend while looking like that". I agree. Moms are good at speaking truth into the lives of their children.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

A tribute to Niel

Today I woke up bright and early (though I don't know what it means to wake up bright, I'm always a bit "dim" in the morning), even before I was supposed to get up for church. The telephone woke me up right around seven, and it was for me. Now let me tell you a bit about telephone in dorm. You don't answer it. You especially don't answer it at seven in the morning. You think to yourself,"what is that horrible sound that woke me up? Oh, the phone. Frick, who is calling at seven in the morning? Someone else will get it." No one else gets it. They are all thinking the same thing. Then after 15 rings, you are thinking, "Frick, why isn't anyone getting the phone?" and you get ticked off at everyone else in dorm. Eventually the caller hangs up, but then calls again a couple minutes later. You let the system happen again. "Someone else will answer." But just when you realize that no one else is going to, you think "Hey, that phone has been ringing for about 4 minutes, I bet if I answer the caller will be like, "What the heck took you so long to answer the phone!!!" and will be all mad, and so you decide, I better not answer the phone or I'm going to get reamed out for answering so late. Eventually someone does answer the phone and walks grogily (grogily,...I like that word) into your room to inform you that your dad has been trying to get ahold of you for the past half an hour. This is what happened this morning.

Dad called to tell me that Neil Thiessen's funeral was today. eil is a man from my home church. He passed away this week from a heart attack. Neil is one of those guys who you couldn't look at without the corners of your lips rising. I've been away from my home church for more than a year, especially as I worked at my church in Worroad, so I haven't seen Neil for a very long while. I hopped in my car and drove home.

Let me tell you a bit about Neil. Neil radiated excitement and love for Christ. He was a man who could eat more then anyone I've ever met. He had one of those amazing voices. When I say amazing, I mean horrible. He couldn't sing a note, but it was a voice you loved to hear. When Neil sang "there's a hole in the bottom of the sea" or recited the poem "Hiawatha" at camp or at Men's retreat, you had dang better be paying attention, because it was going to be a good time. Some adult men in the church intimidate a young guy at times (not on purpose of course), but not Neil. He was one of those guys that you would look at and, just looking at him sometimes would put a laugh in your heart. I hope you can understand what I mean by this; its a compliment more then anything else. He was one of those guys you would look at and think "Oh Neil..." and you would think it with a smile on your face. All this being said, Niel was a very special person.

Last week was what I like to call a "Job" week. Maybe that's not fair to Job because his experiences were far worse then mine (and worse then any other person I know), but I had one of those weeks were every bit of news that was brought to me was bad news (Which also means the bearers of the news had a much worse week then me as well). Then I finished off the week with Neil's funeral. I had never laughed more at a funeral. It lifted my spirits, and filled me with joy. I left the church refreshed, and appreciating the beauty of people and life a bit more. I could see the beautiful blessing that Neil's life had been for all who knew him, and I thought of the beautiful life that he is living now; a life that as a Christian, I know I can look forward to. I thought of the lessons Neil's life taught; the importance of fellowship, sharing, laughter, and of course; a full stomach.

I said that I experienced joy at the funeral. What is Joy? Joy is one of those words that you cannot define until you have experienced it, and even then it's hard, but I think C.S. Lewis does a pretty good job. C.S. Lewis talks of joy in his book, Surprised by Joy,

…...it is that of an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction. I call it Joy, which is here a technical term and must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and from Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again. Apart from that, and consider only in its quality, it might almost equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief. But then it is a kind we want. I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the worldÂ… (C.S. Lewis, 1955, 20).

Yesterday was a sad day, but sadness accompanieded by the joy of celebrating an amazing mans life here, and in Heaven. Thank you, God, for your gift of Joy.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.--Jack Handey

Thank you Jack Handey. That is all

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Ode to Milk

oh dear milk, how beautiful you are to me,

you tame a mouthful of sweet, delicious torture.

companion of the cookie, mate to the brownie.

How could somthing sucked from a cow be so udderly devine?

you may be 2% but you are 100% in my heart.

gaterade may come and go,

cola will soon pass,

but our love endures, my sweet dear milk.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Won't you be my neighbor?

So today I decided that having supper up in the Sem lounge four flights up is a bad idea. I was thinking when i was on the first floor how funny it would be if somone forgot their silverware and had to go all the way back down to get it. Then when I got to the top, and told everyone how funny that would be,I realized that I did. Oh irony, you are such a jerk.

I remember watching Mr. Rogers as a child, and how as he approached the end of his theme song, he would sit down, cross his legs, remove his shoes and say, “Won’t you be my neighbor?” If only we all were as eager and willing to accept neighbors as Mr. Rogers. A man in the book of Luke Knowing that the greatest Commandments were to love the Lord your God with all your heart, and to love your neighbor as yourself, wanted to justify whom he should love so he asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus responded with this story:

The dust was itchy in his eyes. It was a hot day, sun beating down on his back. His stomach was noxious from the up and down movement of the camel. Neither the air conditioning nor the radio in this camel was working. It was a pretty lousy trip. It was about to become a whole lot lousier. Hiding behind some rocks were a couple of thugs. They jumped him! Ripped him off his camel, stole his wallet, and ipod, tore off his American eagle robe, and Nike sandals, gave him a couple of kicks to the stomach for good measure and left him for dead in the gutter. Bloody, and bashed, he was looking pretty helpless at the moment. This guy didn’t have a hope, that is until a Jewish Priest walked by. If any one would help a hurting guy out, it would be him, right?
“Oh my goodness, this fellow is in some bad shape…what time is it?” He looks at his Rolex and realizes he’ll be late for an appointment if he doesn’t hurry.
“He probably got what was coming to him.” He huffs to himself, and looking from side to side to make sure no one else is around, he walks on.

Later a Levite casually moves down the road. He was headed to the temple to perform his duties no doubt, but a mound lying in the opposite gutter caught his attention.
“What is that?” He smells at the air? “Is, is that road kill?” He crosses to the other side to get a closer look, but when he realizes that it’s a man, and not some rotting animal, he quickly turns back to the other side of the road and continues on. Making sure no one steals his parking spot at the Temple is more important to him at the time.

Things were not looking good. The situation seemed as black as his bruised skin. A Samaritan walked on by. Now, in our books, “Samaritan” is a word that isn’t usually said if it’s not accompanied by the word “good”. A wise man once told me it would be like a North American saying the “Good Jihad Islamic Extremist Terrorist”, words that anger us when put together. The Samaritans were Scum to Jews. They were nothing more then mutts who had compromised their Jewish blood line by marrying into other people groups. Jews despised them. They would rather spend there time with brick walls then with Samaritans, if they could have their way. Yet it was the Samaritan who saw this man and took pity on him. It was the Samaritan who pulled out his first aid kit and put Neosporin on his wounds, rapping them with gauze and band aids. It was the Samaritan who took this Jewish man to the Holiday Inn, paid for his medical bill, and told the Keeper if the poor guy needed anything to put it on his tab. It was the Samaritan who showed love.

I find it interesting in this story That Christ chose someone his listener would despise to be the most neighborly. When Christ asked who was a neighbor to the man, his listener responded with “The one who showed him mercy?” as if saying “the Samaritan” would be too difficult to have pass his lips. Christ did this to show that everyone is our neighbor, and we are to love all people. I also find it interesting how it was the religious leaders who expected someone else to come along and care for the hurting. We are the church. Christ has called us to care for hurting people. Are we too expecting others to do the job Christ has given to us?

Matthew 25: 37-41 says,
"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Do we realize that when we are looking into the eyes of a hurting person that we are looking into the eyes of Christ. Perhaps we should all learn a lesson from Mr. Rogers, accepting all people as our neighbors. This is what the Samaritan did. ‘“Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”’

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


Who eats sauteed catterpillars with his college professor? I do, that's who. that is all.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Bird crap, Jr. high girls, and future wives

I returned to school this week. I came back a few days early to hang out with Matt and to move my stuff in. When I arrived at school, I walked up to my dorm and noticed a sheet with a name on it sticky tacked to one of the doors. I got excited and read it thinking that it would be one of the guys in my dorm this year. "Gena Giesbrecht." I was a bit confused. I really didn't expect to have a guy named Gena in my dorm. Thats when I realized that Soccer camp was still going on and that I was in a dorm for jr. high girls, so I quickly removed myself, found Matt Shantz, and threw my crap in a room downstairs. My stuff sat in a total of three different rooms before Shantzy and I could actually move in last night. But it was a good time catching up with Matt, and bumping into a few other good people from school.

On Friday evening, we went out to Nuefelds place in the city and sat on his porch waiting for him to get done with work. we watched from the porch little boys and girls at a birthday party the house over. They had ponies! crazy. as we laughed at a little guy throwing grass at a little girl, a squwaking, morbid, bird flew into my face and pooped on my shoulder. This was my first encounter being hit in the face with a bird. its exploding feces landed on Matt too, but Nuefeld washed our shirts and fed us. what a guy.

Uncle Buck is a very funny John Candy movie. Eating candy while watching John Candy just seems to make sense.

I came back home today once again so that I can speak in church on Sunday, my last day there. what a nice happily ever after to the once upon a time I started over a year ago now with this church. my, how I am going to miss those people. what a blessing it has been. perhaps I'll blog on what I'll be speaking on sometime (Matthew 25: 31-45), but not right now. All I'll say is that I truly believe that this will be a passage close to my heart this year, one that I hope I can learn to live out, so that I truly can practice what I preach.

Probably the best part of going to school early is seeing the wish book before anyone else. the highlights so far,...The Thunder Brothers (could you have a cooler last name?) and picking out future wives for Matt and Mike. Shallow, perhaps, but still a good time.

So, school is here again. I am very excited. It is so cool to see growth in others and self. I can't wait to see what God has in store for Providence College this year.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Love is what separates us from the goats (Matt 25:31-46)

I just found this beautiful ministry and I encourage all of you to head over to www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms and check it out. Read through the blogs, especially the story that got this whole thing started. So encouraging, so inspiring. I can't think of anything that excites me more then seeing twenty somthings starting their own ministries and really loving the hungry, thirsty, sick, naked, and imprisoned. Here is a video clip for you to watch.

Know that you are loved. Know that God looks down on your hurting heart, and that He hurts with you. Believe. Believe that broken hearts can and will be healed.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

a brain is no place for dynamite

Do you ever know precisely what you desire, yet wonder if its right. I mean, there are those times when we know what we desire is wrong. But what about those times when we just aren't quite sure? I suppose we have all faced this to a degree before, even if its as simple as wondering if we should take the last slice of pizza in the box, or if we should spend money on another cd after already buying two that month. These are the decisions that after a bit of thought, we can come up with a wise decision. But at other times, it is so much more difficult. Those times when your heart and your head disagree, when your voice can't be separated from God's or all the other voices in your head.

I'm in this boat right now. Its a really sucky boat. More of a raft, really. And no paddles. Out on rapids. Oh, and its held together by twine. Really old twine,...the kind you find in an old man's shed. An old, cheap man, who wouldn't bother to buy good twine, just so he can save a nickle. Yeah, pretty sucky. Is it that I just don't want to believe God's voice when I hear it because it contradicts my hearts desires? Is it that I won't allow myself to have what I want, or that I truly believe God has other desires for me? Is it that I'm thinking to much...Maybe not enough? I think I know the answer, but I'd love to convince myself otherwise. So, to all of my friends, will you pray for me? Pray for clarity, but even more so, pray for obedience, because clarity doesn't always make decisions easier.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Sometimes when the guys in my youth group are acting like dorks, I get angry and chop their heads off.

Thursday, August 03, 2006


Coke Blak. What were they thinking? I bought a Coke Blak the other day to see what it was like, and I'm pretty sure that I'll by another one just because it was so horrible that it will be canceled within a month and go down as the worst soft drink concept ever. The bottles will be worth a pretty penny. Lots of pretty pennies, and maybe some rusty ugly ones too. You know, coffee is great stuff, and coke is pretty darn good too, but making a coffee flavored soft drink is a bad idea. Sometimes putting two good things together makes something great, like Dr. Pepper with berries and cream or honey and mustard (do not put honey mustard in your Dr. Pepper). I would gladly give my kidney to the person who thought of putting honey and mustard together...even if he or she didn't need it. The genius who invented honey mustard deserves three kidneys. But then sometimes, two great things only make something incredibly horrible. I love puppies, and I love pizza, but puppy pizza just doesn't work in North American culture.

I had a good day today. Many times when I go into the office at church, I have a tough time keeping my eyes open, because I'm just not the morning person type. But today, I stayed relatively awake and I feel I got quite a bit accomplished. I'm beginning to prepare my sermon that I'll share the day I head off to school, my last day at the church. I am really excited to be given such a cool opportunity, it will round off my experience at the church very nicely. I only fear that my message will be to basic, to simple. But then again, I think that the church needs to come back to the basic, the simple. Sometimes the basics, the simple stuff offers the greatest challenge. Be Kind to your neighbor. Love your enemy. Feed the hungry. Such simple commands, yet so hard to do. Great challenges. In my time at the church, I've been able to speak to and work with pre k kids up to College students, and now I'll be preaching. What a great gift God has given me in this last year.

Today I folded bulletins at the church, and I loved it! That may sound ridiculous, but sometimes I really enjoy those monotonous tasks that need to be done but require chimpanzee intelligence. Most of my work requires thinking, so its nice to rest the brain, listen to some music and let the mind wander on the things of God, the things of the day, or the dreams of tomorrow.

We've had VBS this week, and I've loved it. I pray God blesses me with the opportunity to have kids of my own some day. Its like they breathe out life. I don't think there is a time that I feel more alive then when I've got a kid on each foot, one on my back, and another in my arms. I could do without the light saber stabbing and the shoe hiding, but I guess that comes with the territory.

video recording and catch; two more great things that don't work well together

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I am the Prodigal

Faith without works is dead. So what does that mean for a church with no faith or works? Does it just become a club? Where is the spiritual growth in 4-H or the Eagles club? Those weren't the Eagles wings I had hoped to soar on. When was it that I died? How is it that a man can forget to breath? In all honesty, its been awhile since I've spent time with God. I haven't really spent much time reading my bible or praying this summer. Well, lets be a bit more honest, I haven't spent much time with God this last year. I have read my bible, and I guess I have prayed. But I haven't really prayed in so very long. Really truly prayed. Conversed with God, sat down with my creator and friend, and talked simply because that is what friends do. I want to now God's favorite color. Is that strange, does that sound ludicrous? I think of high school sweethearts and the trivial questions they ask one another, and the meaningless beautiful answers that they treasure, as they learn each other's hearts. What is God's favorite color. Is there a flower he finds most beautiful? To be in love again, to run back to the love of my youth, to be intimate with God. I miss him.

My, I have been off the mark for some time now. Yet its amazing how long God's arms are, he still reaches for me. No matter how fake, no matter how far I've wandered off the path into the wild poison ivy, he still calls me, still holds out his hand. One word has broken into my ears this summer; Love. Maybe I'm beginning to remember that word, a word I knew long ago. Maybe I'm beginning to understand it for the first time...Maybe I still have so much more to learn. Christ's greatest commandments have been on my mind a lot this summer, whether I read about them in a book or hear a pastor preach on them, it seems that God wants my attention. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself." I am a people pleaser, and no person do I strive to please more then myself. I quickly forget the order of those commandments. God rarely receives my love first and rarely do I love others as I love myself. Doug Fields applied this passage to youth ministry in how it is so easy to "love" youth first by creating extremely fun programs to attract young people, but forgetting to love God, growing in our own personal relationship with him first. Without a personal relationship with God, how can one possibly help others grow in their walk.

A pastor asked the question, how is it that we love God, and he pointed out how closely related these two commandments are, because it is through loving our neighbors that we show our love for God. How true this is. It works in a perfect circle; the more we love God, spending time in his word and talking with him, the more we desire to love those around us by serving them and teaching them of God's perfect love, and the more we show love to our neighbors, the more we are demonstrating our love for God through action.

I have become ritualistic in my ministry. Love is the ingredient I have left out, and I've wondered why its tasted so funny. I've made it about programs rather then people, and I've pulled bible studies out of the air rather then spend time with my first love, growing and learning how to teach and serve the youth at my church, my neighbors. When I was young, my greatest prayer was that God would give me wisdom, and a heart of love, but somewhere along the line I lost that, I stopped praying for these things, and I forgot to love.

But my heart is hopefull. God in his grace has put excitement back in my heart. It amazes me that he is so willing to use a flawed heart to proclaim his perfect message. I have a month left with my church. This month is a gift. Working in Warroad has been such a great blessing. It has been a time filled with many important lessons. But the greatest of these is love.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


I've had a lovely little vacation here with camp. well, granted working as a dean of a camp can't really be considered vacationing I guess, but it was an amazing time. God is teaching me so much, and I'm excited to learn so much more about ministry. I've barely got my feet wet.

Family camp was great. I love Bluewater. I've always wanted to work there, but God always seems to have different plans. anyway, I just got back from spending the fourth out at bluewater, and decided to see if I could post some video footage. Grand Rapids shoots off some pretty good fireworks. I probably should have waited for the grand finale, but I didn't

Monday, June 26, 2006

Summer pictures 3

I've also had the opportunity to go up to Winnipeg and visit my favorite people a couple times, here are there lovely faces.

I hang out with beautiful girls sometimes...

I didn't think that my best photo ever would be of Matt, but I thank you Matt for having a face.

This bug has nothing to do with anything

tree climbing is just to easy for some people. Steph needed the challenge of awkward, artistic architecture.

The Peg was fun, though I may never look at ginger ale the same ever again.

Summer pictures 2

Here are more graduation open house photos.

It's always so refreshing to be surrounded by children. is there anything as beautiful to the ear as their laughter? I was in heaven....until one of them broke my badmintton racket...kids...

and of course i have to show off my church family and youth group.

These guys are at least a 7 1/2 on the coolness scale...maybe even a 12.

I hit my max again. dag.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Summer pictures 1

I got a camera this summer, yet I have not posted any photos yet, so here are some of the experiences and photos of summer thus far, starting with the most attractive child I have yet witnessed in life, John and Lauren's little boy, Corbin.

This one really accentuates the awesomeness of his very punk, very natural faux hawk. Next comes the tattoos and lip ring...

this was after I blinded him with 50-907 photos

Lyss Graduated, and pulled in billions of scholarships and grants (about $25,000+ just for this year!) since she's a genius. I got lots of photos at her open house and grad.

here is the family on graduation day. The parts in my dad's and my hair are in opposite directions. Isn't that aesthetically pleasing?

This is Lyss and her studly boyfriend.

open house!!!! I like food

Lyss had a pretty artastic gallery to show for herself

...wow. did you know that you can max out the number of photos you put in a post... I didn't. bummer....

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Please pray

I've never posted a prayer request on my blog before, but this is to important not to. An amazing young woman, and dear friend of my sisters and I, Emily Mekash, got in an accident today. While counseling at bible camp, she collided with someone during a game of basketball and hit her head on the pavement. She has been rushed in ambulance to the Hospital in Grand Forks, and there is a possibility that she could have fractured her skull. I believe that God has great plans for this young lady. Please pray for her healing, for her family and friends, and for Trust in a God who is greater then all of this. He is good and his love endures.

Friday, June 02, 2006

a hole in your pocket

Its funny how I never knew I gave you my heart until i found that it was missing. And the ironic thing is, you didn't know you had it either. so one day, as you skipped down the street towards the chapel, it fell from your pocket and shatered there on the ground. I picked it up, and dusted it off. My, how fragile a heart is. Though I try and try, the pieces jus't dont seem to fit together just right. And so it sits guarded, afterall, it's weaker now, it broke once, so it most definitely could break again. I could be mad, I could despise you, and I regretfully admit that there is a part of me that wants to, but I don't. Just a misplaced heart that fell from your pocket, its hardly your fault. I always have been a bit absent minded, always have been one to misplace things.

23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.--Proverbs 4:23

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

makes ears happy

their are few things that carry the power of music. it moves people like few things can. at times certain songs cling as a back drop to episodes of our life, or help us through difficult times. These are some of the songs that have stories in my life. They are the songs that have convicted me, challenged me, and have shaped me and my faith,...as well as some just plain fun songs that make me giggle and smile.

Lead the Way- Further seems forever
This is my favorite song of all time. It has come to comfort me, and carry me along in some very difficult times. "You know me better then I do, it would be best if you lead the way" Powerful, simple lyrics that reveal the surrendered heart of a Christian. Hide Nothing is my favorite Furtherseemsforever project. One of the most God glorifying projects I have heard to date.

Islands gone bad- Shapes and Sizes
These guys are a new band to asthmatickitty records, the label owned by Sufjan Stevens and his step dad. I love this song. Beautiful, unique Indy vibe, and a story that progresses from a family stranded on an island picking fruit off of trees to children eating their parents. Good song, good song.

Casimir Pulaski Day- Sufjan Stevens
Wow. Sufjan is amazing. I love this song, because the lyrics are sad, yet the music is happy, and combined they seem to paint a picture of hope. The song deals with suffering and Gods place in it. A tear jerker.

When did you fall- Chris Rice
This song is one of my new favorites. Its a love song about a guy looking back over his relationship with his significant other trying to place the moment she fell in love with him. www.myspace.com/chrisrice

Transcontinental- Pedro the Lion
David Bazen, the main mind behind amazing indy act, Pedro the lion, is known for his blunt, straight to the point, and often controversial music. His content and language has thrown some Christians for a loop as he has played major Christian music festival, Conerstone, and though I can't agree with his content and language choice all the time, there are a couple songs that have really struck home and I think are good to hear. His voice, and soft, relaxing music are not soon forgotten, nor his story telling abilities. Transcontinental is a story in which the narrator gets ran over by a train, and tells us about the experience. Yeah, no theological message in this one, just a ridiculously fun song. To bad their is so much dirt with the gold... www.purevolume.com/pedrothelion

On and On- Kevin Max
Although this former DC talk member seems to be forgotten quicker then Tait or Toby, I would say Max is my favorite of the three. His music is by far the most original. On and On is an amazing love song "You are an island, I am the raging of the sea, You are a Fortress, and I am abandoned, you are the valley, you are the bird that flies so high, you are a temple, and I am a beggar" Lyrically Max is amazing, and with a voice like that, you have to wonder why we haven't heard more of him

Priceless (For Eleanor)- Copeland
"I need you like the dragonfly's wings need the wind, like the orphan needs home once again, like heaven needs more to come in. I need you like you've always been." this is a beautiful song. All of Copeland's music is what I would deem "pretty" music. Its like candy for your ears. And not that cheap candy they throw at you during parades. This is the delicious candy you find in a candy shop, the kind that you have to close your eyes and smile as it rests on your tongue. Imagine your aunts special fudge at Christmas. Copeland is fudge....really good fudge.

Bold Son- Aaron Espe
For me, this song completes what furtherseemsforever's lead the way began. Both these songs are incredibly important to me. Though it takes great surrender to allow Christ to lead the way in our lives, it takes trust to boldly follow him. "So don't be timid, don't be cold, be bold son, be bold son." Aaron Espe is from my home town, and a great guy. Perhaps the fact that I know the guy contributes to my love of his music, but you can be the judge...(he's going places, just wait, I'm telling you...) www.myspace.com/aaronespe

Fly- Jars of Clay
"Be Still let your hands melt into mine. The part of me that breathes when you breath is losing time. I can't find the words to say I'll never say goodbye. I'll fly with you through the night so you know I'm not letting go. I'm not letting go. My tears like rain fill up the sky. Oh my love, I'm not letting go, I'm not letting go." I view this song as God's love song to me. He gave this to me over the radio on a night I desperately needed it. This song reaches deep into my heart, and I thank God for such a gift.

This World- Cademon's Call
"This world has nothing for me and this world has everything. All that I could want and nothing that I need." Cademon's call and Derek Webb both are artists I greatly respect. They speak messages that Christians desperately need to hear.

other amazing songs

Those words are not enough- Relient K

What is Love- Pax217

I'm not alright- Sanctus Real

Learning to Breathe- Switchfoot

We're very greatly loved- Half-handed cloud

Did i step on your trumpet?- Danielson

Autobahn- Anberlin

Jesus' Blood- Delerious?

Wait for me- Rebecca St. James

At the Zoo- Simon and Garfunkel

Saturday, May 20, 2006

play-dough heart

words can't match feelings
reality can't match dreams.
Its not what i had hoped for, I'm not what I had hoped to be.
frustrated when the image in my head doesn't match the strokes on the canvas.
And in it all, in this all, have I become jaded and dry?
When things aren't as they should be, when you fail me, when you miss my plan,
do i just give up?
When you touch my play-dough heart, does it crumble?

or is there hope?

Take my heart. press your thumbs in.
mold it, shape it, form it.

stamp it with trust.

More strokes will join those on the canvas, and the invisible ink will show itself, and a captivating picture will one day fill my eyes.

but it will be your picture, not mine.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

can you tell i'm wearng makeup?

I just downloaded 61 songs legally for absolutely free! I'm tickled pink and I don't even know what that means...

Its snowing outside. That's pretty ridiculous.

So I have been thinking a lot lately about the nature of humanity, and perhaps more specifically, the church. You know, the church looks so beautiful. We are airbrushed, and glossed people. Fake plastic Christmas trees made to look perfect, we are the spotless bedroom with all the crap shoved in the closet. We hide all our dirt under the rug. Why is it that so often the church feels it must live a fake life? Why are we afraid to reveal our ugly sides? Like a record gone bad, we enter a pattern we can't escape from. We try to look as perfect as we can, hiding our faults from those we call brother and sister, so we can compare to their fake perfection. We put up firewalls, and blockers to hold away eyes that could see the real us. But that's just it, we are all fake, plastic, dyeing, choosing to give up life. How hard it must be to join the church when we make it a place for demigods. Only those who have reached this level of "godliness" are welcome. We have made church a club rather then a hospital. We are thespians with the church our stage, and we play our roles so well. We expect the world to come running to us, instead of sending our ambulances out to them, and when a dyeing person comes crawling to our doors we worry and whisper about the blood they are getting on the carpet. I never liked fake Christmas trees. They have no fragrance. Sure, with the real thing, there are some bare spots, and the needles fall, but they are real! Why can't we be real with each other? What is our fear? Why do we lie to each other and to God saying that we are ok, or try to make ourselves more lovely then we are? That didn't go well for Ananias and Sapphira. This is not intended to be a jaded tongue lashing towards the church, to my family. I count it a blessing to be one with the bride of Christ. This is a reminder to us all, to wash off the makeup, remove the corset, stop holding our breath, and just let the belly hang out. No more wigs, no more toupee's, just the real deal. We all have our ugly parts. We all have bad hair cuts. We all have toe fungus, patchy beards, and strange rashes in strange places, but we are real. If we are brothers and sisters in the beauty of Christ, lets be real with each other relying on his beauty rather then our airbrushes. Realize that you are beautiful, because he made you beautiful.

Im Not Alright

If weakness is a wound
That no one wants to speak of
Then cool is just how far we have to fall

I am not immune
I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth, I need to confess

Im not all right
Im broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you.

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone

And when Im open wide
With nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on

Honestly, Im not that strong

Im not all right
Im broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you.

And I move closer to you

Im not all right

thats why I need you
--Sanctus Real

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

missing the big picture

Dom and I had a conversation about contentment the other night that got me thinking. I don't find myself to be a very content person, and this bothers me alot. I told Dom how I can see God, and this is true. I see God in lots of things. he drops me little reminders when i'm out for a walk, or when i'm reading or talking with a friend, or driving in my car. yet, still I'm not content. I hear God too. I hear the things he tells me to do and to not do, and though I hear his voice speaking to me, it is so hard to obey. then Dom, in his wisdom said, "Ty, maybe you don't see God." huh? of course I do. look at creation, look at the beauty all around us. Can i not see God in this? God is so big. there is nothing profound in this statement, just a simple truth that can never be grasped. Sure i see God, but yet, I still don't see him. I don't see him in his "bigness". If i could see the great plans he has for me, see him in all his glory, then there would be no way I'd be discontent. there would be no reason to struggle for obediance, and foolishly alow my feet to walk my own path rather then hike the adventure that God has layed out for me. how can one know God's will, yet still avoid it? It defies all logic, yet poses as the only logical thing to do. obeyig a invisible God doesn't seem to make much sense. seeing an invisible God doesn't make much sense. and yet, its the only thing in life that does make sense. and so, the struggle continues. Whom will i love first?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Truth and relationship

As Christians do we sacrifice the truth we know for the sake of relationship sometimes? This is a question that I have been letting sit in my mind for the past few days. As a youth ministry worker, and youth major at school, I am beginning to think that this is an area that Christian's often struggle with. We know the importance of relationship, and we hold it up as what ministry is. After all, is it not in close relationship that we build the trust and foundation in which we can best share God's truth with others? But even so, I have just acknowledged that this relationship has the purpose of sharing truth. So really, our main objective is not the deepness of our relationship,but rather the truth we are speaking into another person's life (youth pastor into youth, for example). Sometimes this truth hurts, and will create distance in, or even destroy a relationship with the person we are speaking truth into. Yet, it is my belief that if you are sacrificing truth for the sake of a relationship, then the relationship is not healthy in the first place, in fact in some aspects, the relationship has already been destroyed. It is a relationship based on fear, rather then truth. We are scared that God's truth might just sound a bit to harsh, and if we teach it, without smoothing off the edges a bit first, without glossing over the stuff that could possibly offend, then we may just lose our opportunity to speak into this persons life at another time. But when we do this, when we water down God's truth for the sake of saving our friendship (or mentoring relationship in the case of youth)we are stepping out of our role. Our role is a role of trust. We must trust that in presenting God's full truth; the unabridged, and dare I say it, sometimes offensive truth, that He will speak into that youth. If that person is offended and walks away from the church, it will be the work of the Holy Spirit that will bring that person back, not us. We are also making the implication that this young person is to weak and unwilling to stand in God's firm truth. If we are implying this, then we are implying that God cannot give this person the strength he or she needs. It is foolish for us to wonder why so many people, especially young people are unwilling to stand up for their Christian faith, when we have taken the strength out of it, when we have watered it down. We make God's sword into a dull butter knife. Who, in all human existence, has ever wanted to stand up for weakness, for the easy route? We preach tolerance before truth, false friendship before God honoring relationship. Christ in his love, never sacrificed truth in order to bring people to himself. We too must also recognize that if we want to truly build God honoring relationships,real relationships of love and trust, then we will, and must offend others at times for the sake of speaking into their lives. We cannot reflect Christ without being offensive.

Friday, March 31, 2006


tonight as I hung up my wet puddle jumping clothes in the sub lounge, I got a very exciting phone call. Em called to let me know that John and Lauren had their baby! Corbin Mark Kelly. A boy. i don't know how to express my excitement through words typed on a key board. I feel like an uncle. I can't wait to watch this child grow up; to walk along side John and Lauren, offering support and encouragement. I can't wait to hang out with this kid and play ninja turtles with him or shoot hoops with him. I can't wait to see John as a father. Wow, one of my best friends is a father! thats so crazy. I can't get my papers done on time or even keep my room clean, yet a friend my age has the responsibilty of a baby boy as of 5:00 March 30th 2006. I don't know if i could even successfully take care of a hamster. It will be fun to watch this little person grow up, and to watch his parents grow too. I'm so excited because I know that John and Luaren will be committed to bringing this little boy up in their faith, shairing it with him so that one day he can choose to make their faith his own. I can't wait to see this little guy! hopefully soon...

Its ironic that i got this news this evening. Earlier today I was imagining how amazing it would be to be a dad. I can't think of anything that could be more rewarding, terriing, exciting, and trying. to think that God gives us the opportunity to bring up a child just boggles me. their is no refresh button on a child. Its amazing the power a father has in the life of his son. A father can ruin his son simply through the words he says, or doesn't say. that scares me, yet excites me at the same time. If i become anything in life, i hope i become a good father. I used to want to be great, I used to want to leave this world with my name known, but now,I don't really care. I don't think I want my greatness to be measured in how many hits my name gets on Google some day when i've died. Instead, I want to leave this life knowing that I've made a difference in the lives of my kids, knowing that I had taught them the love of Christ, and to share his love with others. And if i don't have kids someday, well...at least I'm a fake uncle. woot.

Friday, March 24, 2006

at least i don't snore...

The human mind is a very interesting thing. I spent almost all day in the library reading, yet I really don't know what I read. I read the words, yet my mind was in another place at another time. Interesting how you can read one thing but be thinking of a topic not remotely related. But even when I could gain focus, this was interrupted by very frequent and unplanned cat naps. I think I probably get just about as much sleep done in the library as homework accomplished. No, probably more. I need advice, good solid advice. I tried sitting up as straight as possible, but eventually my head would droop, and my eyes would get heavy. I put snow in my boxers which kept me awake for a solid five minutes, but then it thawed and I dozed again. I had to spend half the day hiding a wet spot on my crotch. I tried taking frequent walks to get the blood moving, but the moment I sat down I was tired again. I sucked on mints, I sat with friends, I sat by myself, I sat in soft chairs, and hard chairs. I went outside. I read out loud, and silently. I tried everything. I couldn't stay awake. I think I have a disease. Maybe I'm allergic to homework.

I don't know what to write. In fact, the only reason I am blogging at all right now is to detox from a day of brutal homework in which I feel very little was accomplished. On those days when it is very easy to feel blah, when you can't see your value, when you can't see an end, and if you do see the light at the end of the tunnel, you are quite certain a train is barreling towards you; I take comfort that God's opinion of me isn't as fickle as mine. He is the only one who will love me no matter what. My five late assignments don't change his love, my cruddy bible studies don't, my lack of hygiene skills can't keep him away, my poor communication, my failure, my pride, my fears, my stubbornness....nothing in him changes. Its nice to have a constant. He's my father, and he is more than willing to hold the sticky, grimey hand of his little boy. I'm just going to continue clinging to his finger.

Saturday, March 18, 2006


10I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength. --Philippians 4:10-12

I don't really like this passage a whole lot. this semester has not been good. I am not content. there is so much more that i want, so much that i miss, so much i want to take, yet I feel God saying, "No, I'm sorry Tyler, but I did not give this to you." I am so mad at God. Why can't I have what I want? I feel like I'm playing tug of war with God, and the rope is digging into my hands. Its hard to love God when reality collides with desire. my desires seem more real to me then anything, yet I know if I follow them and not God, I'll miss out on his best, and maybe pull a few others with me. I just don't know how to not follow my desires. Its like swimming up stream, like biking up the center line of a busy high way. I just can't accept that God is right and I am wrong. It is so hard to love God first. I'm not my first priority, why can't i learn that? How can I obey him, how can I offer this up to him in love? How was it that Paul learned to be content in all circumstances? I hope i can learn this...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

I need a bath

my mind is everywhere yet nowhere at the same time. Its packed full, yet I can't concentrate on a thing. the words I want to say are nowhere to be found. I'm not content with the things I should be content with, and far to content with the things i shouldn't even tolerate. I've become a walking contradiction, a joke of myself. I get mad at God for the blessings he gives me, yet i am happy to walk my own path, even as i stumble into trees and pot holes. while choosing the path between faith and sight, I give Robert Frost a swift kick in the groin and say, "I'll take the road most traveled, thank you very much!" I call myself a shepherd, but i don't know how to love. I'm suppose to be a leader, but the blind can't lead the blind. Jesus is supposed to be my first love, but sometimes I think the TV even beats him out. They will know me by my fruit. what if my branches have been plucked clean? One moment I know exactly where God wants me, and the next I don't got a clue, or is it that i just don't want a clue. how can i hate who i am, yet love myself with a blatent selfishness. does this rusty bucket have a hole? it seems to me that the water is leaking and i am left parched.

Let your tide come in and sweep me off my feet. surround me with your water, fill my lungs. Flowing, pulling, pushing,tugging,ripping. Juggle me in your currents, sting my eyes. Drown me so I can live again. i need your water. oh, how i want your water.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

snowballs are only as good as thier targets

Its perfect snowball weather and yet the one person I would most like to send an unexpected orb or icy glory at is gone. Oh, the agony in absence!...sigh

I went on a trip to Whiteshell with my roomie Jon, and my buddy Dom for some winter camping and snowshoeing. I love Whiteshell, its just about as beautiful in winter as it is in the summertime. so gorgeous. We were on the shore of a lake, surrounded by beautiful rock faces and snow covered trees. the weather was just about perfect. I learned a few things on this trip. walking backwards in snowshoes is not easy. Dom laughs contentedly in his sleep. Kippered harring is the best. the ratio of stupid quotes from my mouth goes up the more tired i am. deer in the Whiteshell are very tame.

Dom and Jon are great company. It was so much fun to hang out with those guys, talking about love, life, and french kissing. these are those moments to treasure and smile on, because they won't last forever. hope everyone else had a great break as well. I am procrastinating on homework. perhaps I'll have some photos to post later, but now a paper is calling me. why don't papers ever have pretty voices?

Thursday, February 16, 2006

soul question

what do I do,when I don't know what to do?
when I don't know which voice is mine, and which one is you?
when all that i treasured is over, and through?
I feel so broken and my mind is confused.
my will is tugging, but you're pulling too.
how much am I willing to hand over to you?
my tongue has no words, my mind has no thoughts
all that i know is you're all that I got...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's day

"You have the right to remain single,
Any saying of "I Do" can and will be held against you in the state of Holy Matrimony."

I love valentines day. I also love prayer days. That means that today is a hectabeautiful day. There is something so special about Valentines day. I can't put my finger on it quite, but I think its just the fact that people openly express how much others mean to them. I used to love when my dad would give my mom flowers and smooch her on Valentines, and I still do. I would say "yuck", but my heart would say, beautiful. I wish all youth would have the opportunity to see thier parents in love.

On Sunday, a little guy in my church gave me a bag of candy hearts, and as i poped one in my mouth i was plesantly suprised to discover that it was tangy and fruity rather then chalky and not fruity. that was a happy experience. my mom also gave me a huge box of chocolates and a card. moms are cool. I heart my mom. Men don't need romance when they have a mom (But romance is good to, of course). If anyone wants chocolate, come to my dorm room and say, "give me chocolate, dang it!" then I will do just that, except for the dang it part, I don't really know how.

I discovered today that this year's candy hearts have dirty comments on them, that do not express love in any way, shape or form. It kind of makes me sad. I am boycotting. no candy hearts for me this year.

We had prayer day at school. What a beautiful compliment to what Valentines day should be. It was nice to be with such a loving community, to be supported and encouraged, to share our struggles and our hopes. to love one another, and to offer our hearts up to the Lover of souls. I have been so dry lately, not feeling Him, not hearing him, and not knowing where to go, or even what to do. But today showed me his love through the beautiful people around me, and because of them, I saw his beautiful face. He wasn't just a stranger on the road to Emmaus, but he revealed himself to me, he broke bread with me, and showed me his love. Sometimes when things are unclear, when you don't know where life is going, when you don't feel God's love, and you struggle to love him yourself, sometimes the only thing we can find comfort in is that He always loves. So simple, yet so hard to accept.

I got a few fun valentines today. One was a lovely drawing of a lake scene with the sun shining and some boats sailing and it said, "you are like a summers day..." Frickin' Hot! then it said just kidding...so, even though i'm really not "frickin' hot", I still have funniest valentine i've ever seen, and atleast I'm not "somewhat humid", cause that could be strange. I also got another hand made one that was really cool, it had Isaiah 49: 15-16 which talks about Gods love for us, and how he has engraved us on the palms of his hands. the valentine had a pair of hands with my name written on them. What a friendly encouragement and reminder of His love. Yes, I am bragging about my valentines, and I am completely comfortable doing that.

Hey for all you love birds out there, here is a little valentine's tune for ya. Its called "If you're not the One" by Daniel Bedingfield. Its not letting me type the link so, you'll have to google it I guess. I tell you, that is one mushy, pretty song. Daniel Bedingfield is my guilty pleasure. I guess I'm a sappy romantic at heart. I have to redeem myself afterwards by listening to some Zao, burping in pubblic, and lifting heavy objects.

Hope you all had a splendid day. If cupid shot you with his arrow, yank it out and sell it on Ebay, you could make a bundle.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Mend our broken wings

The Church is Broken. Not only is it broken, it is shattered. I see so many hurting people. So much pain. I am discouraged. I had so much naivete going into my position at the church. I knew that there would be hurting people, but for some reason, I didn't want to accept the idea, the fact, that all people are hurting. I couldn't see the deep wells of pain that have found their homes in so many hearts of the people around me. It makes me feel so small and insignificant. I have nothing of my own to offer. I am not a doctor. Being a "nice guy" doesn't fix people. I can't heal others, I can't even heal my own brokenness and pain. I am learning the hugeness of love. love heals. The greatest thing I could ever do is to reflect Christ's perfect love. The love of Christ is so deep; a love that washes the feet of his betrayer, that tells the one who denied him to go and feed His sheep; what a beautiful love. It is a freeing, graceful and satisfying love. A love that empowers. It is the only bandage for the pain. Love is the foundation, the root, the essence, the all of Christianity. If I am not reflecting Christ's love then I am not truly loving, and with out love there is nothing. It is love that conquers all fear. It is love that gives life. We have the choice to accept it and to share it. My heart has been convicted. It has been empty for so long. I pray God will fill it with his love. Where is all this love? Are there no satellites to reflect the Son? It is time to embrace those that hurt, and show them the one who heals.

Saturday, January 28, 2006


change this pharisee heart to that of a child,

take away this heart of prostitution,

and I will be faithful.

break this shell and let your love spill out,

pouring on everyone I encounter,

I lift up this flag of surrender,

and see that it is in calling you Master that I am truly free.

What do I have if I don't have you Jesus? What in this life could mean any more? You are my rock, you're my salvation. You are the lifter of my head.--Starfield

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

my real name

I want to tuck my cloak in my belt and out run chariots,
I want to be a king dancing in the street,
to rip apart the jaws of a lion,
to tread in fire,
I want to wrestle the holy stranger; and to be given my real name.
let each scar tell a story,
and bring a smiling memory
of a battle won or a lesson learned.

Sunday, January 15, 2006


Love, such a soft place to fall. Yet it can hurt so much. Its contradictions dance together making it all the more captivating; the things we don't understand are always what we desire most, what catch our eye, and hold our attention. Like a glowing stove to the wide eyes of a child, we long to touch the bright red. How can one thing cause so much pain and so much joy? Is there any wonder that love is so confusing when the Creator of the Universe and Love are one and the same? My lips struggle to hold in the words I would say, when they so desprately want out of this prison. If I were to let my heart run free, would it run into chains? My head feels like its trapped in a rubix cube with no answer. My body aches to fall in love with the Lord of Love so that I can truly love. Let me find you in the pain to experience the true joy.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Jedis are cool

I read a bit of 1st and 2nd Kings the other day. I really enjoy reading that stuff. It reminds me of Star Wars kind of. all sorts of exciting Wars and battles... I really like reading the stories about Elijah and Elisha, they are kind of like the bible's very own Jedis, only the stuff they did really happened and is way more cool then pulling an x-wing fighter out of the swamp in the Dagobah System with your mind. I think my favorite story is found in 2 Kings 6.

2 Kings 6
The Floating Ax Head

1One day the group of prophets came to Elisha and told him, "As you can see, this place where we meet with you is too small. 2Let's go down to the Jordan River, where there are plenty of logs. There we can build a new place for us to meet."
"All right," he told them, "go ahead."

3"Please come with us," someone suggested.

"I will," he said.

4When they arrived at the Jordan, they began cutting down trees. 5But as one of them was chopping, his ax head fell into the river. "Ah, my lord!" he cried. "It was a borrowed ax!"

6"Where did it fall?" the man of God asked. When he showed him the place, Elisha cut a stick and threw it into the water. Then the ax head rose to the surface and floated. 7"Grab it," Elisha said to him. And the man reached out and grabbed it.

I laughed when I first read this story. I can just see the guys face when the ax head fly's into the murky waters of the Jordan river.

"Oh Crap, Steve is going to kill me, that was his brand new ax head..."

Thats what would probably be going through my mind if it was me, well, unless the guys name wasn't Steve...

But then God does his miracle through his Servant Elisha, and you have a floating ax head.

I like this story because its kind of one of those "Dang, I lost my shoe. God, please help me find my shoe. Oh, there it is" kind of stories. It shows that God wants us to step up in trust, not only in the big things, the things that really need trust, but the little as well. It shows how God cares about even the littlest details of our lives. Plus, I think floating ax heads are darn funny.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Creating Excitement

I learned something new about myself today. I am an easily excited person. I came upon this discovery while smelling a jar of homemade cocoa powder that a family friend gave us, and going giddy at the amazing scent. It was pretty astonishing, mint flavored cocoa! Beautiful scent. My eyes bulged out and my sister laughed at me as I made her smell it. Downey wrinkle release spray is another one of those things that just amazes me. Pull a shirt or a pair of pants out of the hamper, give it the sniff test, spray it with the spray, smooth it out, and you have a wrinkle free piece of clothing completely suitable for wearing. And then there was the time that I learned you could fabreeze your hair instead of showering! Talk about excitement. So many of these amazing things I guess lots of people wouldn't deem worthy of my amazement, but there is one thing that lately, I've just found incredibly amazing, something truly worthy of amazement. That is the ability of people to create things of beauty. It blows me away. We, the created, long to mirror our creator. I believe their is a deep desire in each persons heart to make things of beauty; to reflect a beautiful God. I got a CD today, and it is beautiful art. The CD is Illinois, by Sufjan Stevens. The whole thing is brilliant, but a song that caught me off guard is the very last,titled, "Out of Egypt, into the Great Laugh of Mankind, and I shake the dirt from my sandals as I run." The song is an instrumental piece, yet it knocked the wind out of me. As I listened I tried to imagine the Israelites leaving Egypt. The song is filled with excitement and a happy fear (if that at all makes sense). You could hear the freedom in it, see the little kids running loops around their parents legs, as they made the trek into an unknown future. You could see the dust rising as the people marched on, boys running ahead of the group, gazing at the horizon. My heart began pounding harder and harder as I listened. I felt that fear in my chest, that feeling of an uncertain future, but at the same time I felt that feeling of excitement and hope. I felt all of this from a song, and a song without words no less! It kind of made me feel a bit ashamed. I haven't strived to create during this Christmas break, infact, really, I've done quite a bit of nothing, I have been so incredibly lazy. I have enjoyed my times of nothing when for so long I have been tied up in so much somethings, but really, doing nothing is so incredibly selfish. I really should have spent time with my youth group this Christmas break...I should have got stuff done, should have read more, created. Laziness is a cruel enemy, and yet, so enticing. I can only imagine what this world would be like if God was lazy. Mothers woud give birth to half babies, and God would finish creating them when he was good and ready. You would see Fields of daisy's with no buds, because God would be in the middle of a television show,...he'll get around to the flowers during the next commercial break. I am glad we don't serve a lazy God, but a God of beautiful art. I am also glad that there are those out their who seek to worship God with their art; beautiful creations pleasing to the King. So, go forth, create. Be excited with beauty.