Sunday, August 28, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. I've been so very selfish. It seems that I have become my number one fan lately and that I'll cattier to my every whim. Instead of talking to you and enjoying your presence, I have replaced you with a horrible addiction to TV and the internet the remote has become my best friend. You gave me that beautiful love letter but I let it sit on the chair collecting dust. I should be reading it at every minute letting every sweet word fill up my lungs, but instead I forget what it says. You call me a hundred times a day, but I never answer your calls. It seems that the only time I do talk to you is when I want something. You have been so very patient with me. You are so perfect, beautiful. I don't see why you put up with me. You should have dropped me, swept me under the rug a long time ago. I've cheated on you, I've deliberately disrespect you and went behind your back, yet you always forgive me and take me back. I am in love with you, I know that I don't show it well, but I will. I want to breath every word you say. I want to hold you tight. Your beauty is greater than a shower of shooting stars. Your kindness is softer than a bed of moss. You have the intoxicating and pleasant sent of a new born baby. I want to hold your hand forever, to melt into it. You make me want to walk on water for you. Dear Jesus, I don't want to fail you ever again. Take me back.
Monday, August 22, 2005
wow, i have been spamed! check out the comment on my last blog, its just a stupid advertisement for somthing, i don't even know what! thats crazy. i wonder if that works, advertising through blog comments. i'd just imagine that it gets people ticked off. "hmm....they are using my blog for thier own free advertising... ooooo lama insurance, sounds important, i think i'll buy some" i thought it was kinda funny, and i reallized that i have no idea how to erase comments so now everyone who wants can write a bunch of stupid stuff and i can't do anything about it! i don't care if its advertising, I like comments no matter what, I am a sick comment hungery crazed animal! Last week my youth group and I shot a bunch of cool video footage and played it in reverse so that it would look crazy awesome. we did all sorts of stuff that is impossible unless you are in the matrix. one thing we did for example was running backwards off of the roof of a shed and continuing backwards, then playing it in reverse so it looks like we are running and jumping up onto the shed. It looked pretty awesome, but one of the guys jumped off, ran backwards right into the fire pit and landed on his back. it was funny/not funny at all, because his back is in lots of pain. we did all sorts of crazy awesome stuff. my favorite was driving slowly in reverse as someone jumped onto the roof, rolled down to the hood, pushed off and ran backwards so that when we played it in reverse it looks like i'm crusing straight into a guy, clipping him at the knees, and driving off as he rolls up my whindshield. The video was great. it almost looked real. it was very decieving. I love illusions that appear real. David Blaine, David Copperfield, you know,...all those davids who are illusionists, i love that stuff! I could watch it for hours. When I was younger, i'd go to the library and get magic books and learn the tricks. then i'd do them for my family. Its very important to realize that not all things are as they seem. Not all decieving illusions are fun either. The greatest illusionist, the greatest deciever is not David Blaine, the Mind Freak, or David Copperfield. The Greatest Deciever is Satan, and hes been practicing for Thousands of years. But like all illusionists, if you study how he plays out his deception, you can catch on and not fall for his tricks the next time. In my NLT Study bible there is a little deal that talks about Satan's Plan. He uses Doubt first. If he can get you to doubt Gods word, he will get you traped. Next he uses Discouragement, you start looking at yourself and your own problems rather than at God. Then Comes Diversion, The wrong things just look so right, so appealing. next, he flips on you and uses defeat. Right after telling you, "Come on, its no big deal", he flips and says "What a horrible Christian! Man did you screw up big this time, God could never forgive you or look at you the same ever again. After that is Defeat, you feal like a failure so whats the use in even trying anymore. You are destined to be a failure so you keep on failing, there is no hope. And last there is delay. instead of running to God, to his word, and to other Christians to get back on your feet, you continue to live in the sin that Satan wanted you in, because you're just a sinner anyway...theres no way you could live the life God wants you to live. Lets look at an example. A young guy stumbles onto some Pornographic web site. He knows Gods word says that even looking at a woman with lustful thougts causes a man to commit adultry in his heart, but really what harm is looking at a few pixels on a computer really going to do. afterall, its just him and a computer, who is he hurting? Doubt. He thinks, I'm just a young guy, I'm not getting married anytime soon, my body is designed to want this stuff. I can't help it, its human nature. Discouragment. Besides, its fun, its exciting. My palms are sweating, my head is spinning. this is great! Diversion. Then it strikes. I can't believe i looked at this trash. what would my parents think! My pastor, my friends...My future wife. This picture is a woman, a person, not just an image...She was created by God, she doesn't deserve this. How could I fail God like this...I am horrible, i really blew it. Defeat. But then he does it again and again. He finally accepts that it must just be a normal thing, he really can't help it. maybe he really is just a failure bound to fail. Maybe he doesn't even mind. Delay. Satan. He loves to see us fall. He used the same tatics on Adam and Eve. I encourage you to read the story and see if you can find them being played out. (Genesis 3) Notice though that Satans first strategy is to get us to question God and Gods word. This is why its so important to place Gods word in our lives. Ephesians 6:10-17 talks about the Armor of God. the whole passage is about armor except for one weapon. that weapon is Gods word. ...take the Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Eph 6:17 Without Gods word in our hearts and minds, when we battle Satan, we are just throughing punches, a four year old throughing punches at a football linebackers leg. we need a sword that pierces, cuts through the marrow, and wins battles. Satan doesn't decieve with cameras and mirrors, but God still gives us the strength to call his bluff.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Thursday, August 04, 2005
you remember OK soda? i used to love that stuff, i wonder why they took it off the shelves, it was scrumptralescent. I miss it, dream of it sometimes. that and those candies that were kinda like jelly beans only looked like little rocks. This is just a random thought blog, i hope that is ok. I was thinking the other day how much fun it would be to be five years old again. I haven't watched sateday morning cartoons forever, and i am falling seriously behind on my ninja turtles. It'd be so cool to have no major responsibilties and to watch saterday morning cartoons, eat sugar cereal, and play with legos again. At the same time though, i am really begining to accept and even enjoy this whole growing up thing. I was thinking today how much i am really looking forward to being a father. how great will it be to watch ninja turtles with my boy, teach him how to throw a football, kick a soccer ball, how to treat a lady, read a book, tie a shoe, to read the bible to him and get excited about it, to take him on canoe trips, and camping trips. My goodness, i think i look even more forward to being a Dad then i do to being a husband. in fact, being a husband kinda scares me. I'm not sure why, maybe i'm just scared of getting into another relationship and getting hurt, i don't know for sure. I also started to think how i don't think i'd mind it a whole lot if i just became the "Uncle Tyler" you know, the guy who's not really related, but gets invited to all the family gatherings anyway because the family loves him so much. I got alot of great friends that i wouldn't at all mind being the "Uncle" Tyler to. You know what though, I am content right now. life is good. There are plenty of young ones that i can be uncle tyler to right now, and even though i'm not 5 years old, i am still young and got an amazing life ahead of me, God has blessed me with amazing friends and an awesome family. What more could I ask for. OK soda and some Ninja Turtles would be nice, but i'm not going to push it.
Monday, August 01, 2005
I had a banana in my car for about three weeks. I didn't throw it out because I was kinda making it my mascot. I wanted to see how many people I could impress with my smelly rotting banana but then I realized that smelly rotting bananas aren't that impressive and my car smells like a garbage disposal now. That really has nothing to do with anything. I just got done with another camp. It was an interesting camp. Some of the girls named my bum. They named left side bob, right side Fred. I wish they could have at least came up with some more exciting names. But really, that has nothing to do with anything either. It was the most frustrating, wearing camp I've ever experienced, and that's saying something after being a peg leg for several days after soccer camp, yet its the camp that I've learned the most at out of all of them this summer. The campers stole my pants, they stole my shirt, they stole my boxers, my socks, they duct taped things to my car and then stole my car keys, they put tooth paste in shoes, they broke the trunk of my fellow counselor, and moved his car, they snuck out every night, they ran everything possible up the flag pole, and they blatantly disobeyed us on every occasion possible. We'd tell them to get to bed, it's a big day tomorrow, no sneaking out, its time to sleep,....They'd say, No. We'd tell them to be quiet and hit the sack, they'd say fall asleep so we can leave. They'd purposely disobey us as we watched. It was crazy! Then I had a realization. I was a Jr. High boy once too. And then I had an even worse revelation. I was becoming frustrated, discouraged, and even angry with my campers for their disrespect and disobedience, and I realized that I act the exact same way towards God. So often I blatantly tell God, No thank you, I'll do it my way. It was a hard pill to swallow, I think I'll be gagging it up for awhile. It was a challenging camp but in a good way. I love my campers despite there lack of obediance, and it is very awesome to know that God loves me despite my screw ups, even when i've purposly have been a jerk. Its not an excuse, but it is a relief. We are still called to make Christ the Lord of our lives, not just our Savior. Several campers accepted Christ into there lives for the first time, and it was so cool to pray with them as they cried tears of joy. Have you ever watched a jr. high kid cry tears of Joy before? My fellow counselor, John, and I are continuing to become better and better friends. He is such a good guy, and I am so blessed to have met him this summer, I know we have started a friendship that will last. One night when we were leading devos, all of the counseling guys shared how this has been the hardest summer of our lives. I can't begin to express how much of a relief that was for me. Maybe its that pain finds comfort in misery, maybe it was me realizing that I'm not as special as I thought, or maybe its that we are doing something right and Satan wants to see us fall on our faces. All I know is that I am very thankful for my friends and that I don't have to run this race alone.