This following blog was written throughout the year of 2002. It is all my reasons for not dating. everyone who knows me well now is reading this with a big question mark/exclamation mark in their head because they know i now have a girl friend. Yes, yes, I know that you are thinking look at Tyler's horrible double standards. Maybe you are right, maybe I am not practicing my sermon very well here. Still though, that doesn't mean i think that everyone should hop into a dating relationship as soon as possible. I can say that i am pretty darn sure that i wouldn't be dating yet if I had never met Tina. the only reason we are dating is because it kinda just happened. We became really good friends and talked for about five months and the inevitable just sorta fell in our laps. I am in a relationship and i will tell you that there are draw backs to being in a relationship. its not all fireworks and fun. its work, its responsibility, and i think most of all, if you aren't careful, its a distraction. A distraction against all the great plans God has to use you. The reason I am putting this list on the net is because I have seen so many of mine and my sisters friends depressed over their singleness. I have written this to tell them to rejoice in it. enjoy it when it lasts. don't try to rush into things. you will spend the majority of your life married to somone special. right now you already have the greatest relationship you'll ever have, and thats with Jesus Christ. If you don't have a relationship with him yet, i suggest you make a date. Take Jesus out for supper one night, now theres a relationship that will last. ok, heres my list, read with an open mind.
"this little blip was added on December 27, 2003 (*remember that i wrote this in 2002). ok, well now i have a girlfriend. crazy crazy. i have a list of reasons not to date, yet i have a girlfriend whom i love very much. so, i thought it would make for some interesting writing to look at my relationship under the magnifying glass of my own reasons not to enter a relationship and see if my relationship is a healthy one that i should be in and that God would want for me.
1. dating is a very intimate thing. the two people become very, very close, and can even learn to love each other very deeply. a person has all this love and passion built up inside him/herself. now what do you do with that passion. naturally, to put it bluntly, a couple who deeply love each other will want to partake in Gods gift of sex. However this gift is created by God strictly for married couples. Why put yourself in a situation where you could fall deeply in love with somone and risk the temptation of sex. temptation is not a sin, falling into it or dwelling on the thought is. why start a relationship when you could put yourself in temptations way. even if you are positive you'd never allow yourself to have a sexual relationship before marriage, can you be positive you'd be able to block the fantasies of you and your gal/guy? i'm not sure i'd be able to wait until marriage, at least thought wise, so i will not date yet.
2. As a teenager, we are rather free. the only things we truly have to worry about are school, a part time job, homework, youth group,extracurriculars,....and maybe a few other things. now look at a married man. he has to worry about his wife, his kids, his, fulltime job, his home, his car, his taxes, his payments, and whatever anyone else in the family deals with. those are allot of responsibilities. being that we have few responsibilities as of now, when's a better time to grow spiritually with God. would not having a relationship add to your list of responsibilities? relationships devote allot of time and effort and love. sure you can grow spiritually while having a family and even a girl/boyfriend. but wouldn't it be better to devote fulltime to God until he gives you that special someone?
3. dating shows seem to be as popular as game shows or reality tv now. they are on all the time. a guy meets a girl at the beginning of the show, takes her out, kisses her, makes out, and maybe even sleeps with her. then at the end of the show they decide there really was no chemistry so they have a harsh dumping. its just plain pathetic. it seems the mindset of america is get what you want then dump em'. people will go out not even planning to make it last. i've had friends say to me " i think this one might last more than a month,....i really like her." how sick! We wonder why the divorce rates are going up. adults are taking their dating mindset with them. instead of "If it doesn't work, i'll just call the relationship off", they say, "if it doesn't work out in a couple of years, I'll file for divorce" i don't want this. i will not date.
4. I will not date until i'm positive that she's the one God wants for me. why start a relationship not planning for it to go to marriage.
5. i've seen the pain that a dating relationship-gone-bad can cause. bitterness, pain and anger. i don't want that, and i don't want to give anyone that.
6. in dating you give physically, and emotionally. with each date your on, with each person you date, you give a little bit of yourself. how much more special would it be on your wedding day to have never kissed anyone but your wife, and on your honeymoon never to have slept with anyone but your wife. the bible says "and the two will become on flesh",...how many people do you want to become one flesh with?
7. in 1 timothy 5 it says to think of young women as your sisters in christ. it would be very hard for me to think of the girl i was dating as my sister. now what exactly does sister mean in this context? purity. you would not have lustful thoughts of your sister, don't have them of anyone else.
8. i had another really good reason but i forgot it.
9.to many people go into a dating relationship thinking what they can get out of it. will dating this chick get me in with the guys? will dating the QB get me lead in the cheerleading squad? will she sleep with me. will he spoil me with gifts? relationships aren't about what you can get, they are about what you can give. ( this is what reason number eight was, i remembered, so there really isn't a reason number 8)
10. i am really good friends with this special girl. i like her allot. in fact i could probably ask her out on a date. but i will not do that because my friendship with her is something very special and i don't want to jeopardize it. its just plain not worth it. i'd rather get to know her really well as a friend and see where God takes it from there.
11. I'd rather watch cartoons and hang with shawn.
12. I don't believe in interacial marriage. Perhaps your definition is different than mine, however. Believers shouldn't mix with non believers. enough said. I know, i know,...it was corney, but its very true.
13. one thing about dating is that the relationship is founded on insecurity. since you can break up at any time, its really bad prep for marrige. it also teaches you to very often settle for a the person whos not best for you. both sides of the relationship know that somone better may come along."
Ok, well, thats my list. wow, i forgot about reason number 10, how embarassing...sigh... I may have written those ideas down two years ago but, i gotta say, i think that they all are still pretty stinkin good. so, if you aren't dating anyone, don't fret my friend. Your time with someone special will come soon enough, and in the meantime, enjoy your opportunity to change the world solo. God bless, and tune in next time when we talk about flatulence lighting!