"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." 1 Peter 3:15

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Confused and ok

Feelings are confusing

play with You like hot wheels cars on loops of hard plastic

I just can't tell when i am right side up anymore.

Sometimes my feelings scream so loud, i just wish they'd shut up

Its so hard to hear You over myself

Saying one thing and doing another

Like a green chameleon turned red

Is this the way its going to be?

Why do i betray You?

why do I kiss Your face so coldly

I'd give up the gray for black and white any day

I choose to starve myself

when You offer honey on my lips

I ignore my best friend

I've become blind, deaf and mute

rub the mud in my eyes

cast out these demons

let me hear Your voice,

I'll eat once again

I'm running, running to You

when i trip and fall on those shoelaces i forgot to tie up,

You catch me

You always love me just the same

You always catch me when i fall


alison said...

hey! you don't know me but i've read your blog lots, and i was just wonderin if you took the job as the youth pastor? that totally intrigued me...we're pretty much the same age and it scared the crap outta me just THINKING about taking a role that huge in a church at my age. anyways, i'd be interested to know what went down, if you're comfortable sharing. also, just wanted to let you go that as a struggling christian (and i mean REALLY struggling) your words here have been a real encouragement to me...they remind me that Jesus IS my friend and not just a ruler of my life. so be encouraged friend :)


ty said...

Thanks for the comment Alison. Yes, I did take the position as youth pastor, and yeah, it scares the crap out of me too. I am trusting that God will be by my side and help me out, and i am very thankful that the team of sponsors, the pastor, the parents, and everybody at the church are so devoted to the youth. Its definitely a huge blessing