Saturday, November 05, 2005
The General was thirsty
You know how people kind of need water to live? Oil is kinda like water for cars. I discovered this last week. My car was very thirsty. I guess, I don't really think about those kind of things because I don't drink a whole lot of water. Anyway, I started to drive home for the weekend and my car was sounding rather sickly. In fact, the night before, I had gone to Winnipeg with a friend and we brought a cell phone because it sounded like there was a small animal carcass stuck in my engine or something. If cars could have strept throat, my car definitely needed his tonsils out from the sound of it. So, I was driving home and my speedometer wasn't working. I don't really care when that happens though, it usually doesn't work. Its kinda fun that way because then I have to guess how fast I'm going and sometimes it will start working all of a sudden so that it will jump from zero to 70 mph just like that. It makes me feel like rambo or something, all the power. 0-70 in one sec is pretty freakin awesome. Frigging awesome if I may say, but this night my needle jumped up to 60, then started falling again and bouncing all over the place so I didn't know what the deal was. Craziness. I put The General (that's the name of my car) into cruise, but cruise didn't obey me. I didn't have to push down the gas pedal anymore, but I definitely wasn't going at a constant speed. The gas pedal was going up and down below my foot without me pushing it. This was around the time that I asked myself why a demon would waste its time possessing my car. I thought that maybe I should head back to school and grab a cell phone so that I wouldn't get stranded on my way home, but when I pulled over, The General croaked on me. I turned the ignition, but the only thing that happened when I turned it was that all the lights went off. Yeah, it pretty much sucked. I got out of the car and told The General to open wide. I don't know a whole lot about cars, so popping the hood didn't really help a lot. Plus it was already dark out, so I kinda just said, "yeah, looks pretty dark down there....pretty sure I have no idea what's wrong, but I can guess it probably looks pretty bad." I climbed back in my car, and was about to pray when a cool stranger, a good Samaritan, or as I like to call them, a good Jihad extremist al Qaida terrorist (that's what a Samaritan would have looked like to a Jew when Jesus told the story, it makes sense, just ask my Prof)came along and gave me a ride all the way back to Prov. Long story short, check your oil often. The general is dead, he needs a heart transplant. Much good came out of this as well though. The other day I found a drawing of me and my smoking car sitting in my mail box with a loonie taped to it. I laughed so hard, it made my day. I'm pretty sure that's the coolest thing I've ever had in my mailbox, besides the dead frog, but that's still way cooler then the dead frog. I wish I knew who gave it to me, because whoever it is, is truly a very special person. How kind, how considerate. The best note I've ever received, and it had no words. Also, what a story. One of my friends told me that I could probably at least get a good sermon illustration or two out of this. I think I got a comedy sketch and a sermon illustration. I told you at the beginning of my ramblings how as humans we all need water to live, and how to a car, Oil is that water. When the mechanic called me, he told me that my engine was deceased. It's dead. The only thing its good for now is a boat anchor, or a really hard pillow. It fused together. There is no hope, no life in it. We become the same way without water. There is no life in us without water. Jesus Christ is our living water. Without him we do not have the life that we were created to live. If the Living Water doesn't saturate our lives, if we don't check up on our spiritual health on a regular basis we'll end up being about as healthy as The General. It appears The General has fought his last battle. That doesn't have to be us. Continue to fight the good fight that our Lord has called us to.