"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." 1 Peter 3:15

Thursday, February 17, 2011

All the single pastors

Two great articles

Sometimes writing a blog post is not necessary because someone else has said exactly what you would like to say.  All I can say in response to these two articles is YES!

Well, and I guess this...

I do not feel called to singleness as a life style.  I actually hope to be married some day with a house full of children.  I do, however, hate the pressure I often feel as a single pastor to "get the ball rolling."  Now, to speak fairly, I don't think my married friends realize the pressure they place on me or how painful it can feel to a single person when their singleness is spoken of as something that needs to be corrected.  But it is painful.  I advise those of you who are married to examine your own hearts and see if you hold prejudice towards singleness.   I do believe, and I think I have pretty good company with 1 Corinthians 7, that singleness--like married life--can be a great gift from God.  I confess that I miss out on that gift all to often because my focus shifts from how I can be using this time of singleness for the glory of God to how can I fix this singleness problem.  That's really unfortunate.  I don't think I am the only person that struggles with that mindset.  I do think that the church can help cure these wrong ideas.


Chris H said...

I experienced the same thing when I was single. I remember a good friend in seminary who spoke to me at length about singleness, and I recall sitting there saying to myself, "Yeah, but see... I like being single at the moment. Sure, marriage looks good, but that's not what I'm up to." I remember being a little offended, or condescended to.

I'm married (you were there), and I see what Paul meant when he said that being single had advantages in ministry. Being able to be "selfish" in putting my time and effort mainly into a ministry reaps real rewards, especially with youth. I also see that marriage is a wonderful thing that allows people to see with a different perspective how Christ loves the Church.

Wow, that's long...

Enjoy being single for all that it allows. Enjoy being married for all that it brings. In any relationship state, choose to honour God with your behavour and attitude. That's what I'm saying.

ty said...

Thank you Chris.

I appreciate your wisdom and thoughtfulness. It is encouraging. I agree, both singleness and marriage are great gifts. Each teach us things about who God is and how to serve him. Like any gift, I want my life to show thankfulness for this gift right now rather then live life in jealousy of a gift I can't be positive God has for my future.

I miss sitting and chatting with you. Hopefully that gift will be in my future :)

andrea renae said...

This is going to sound strange, considering I got married at 19... but I totally understand your struggle with pressure to be in a relationship with someone. I always held the view that my single years were a very special time in which I could serve God and others in a different way than I could if married. I definitely love married life, but those single years were definitely a gift from God, too. God will most assuredly bless you for using your single years to pursue Him instead of, as you put it, trying to fix your singleness problem.